Surrey Homes | SH46 | August 2018 | Wedding supplement inside

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Jane Howard’s Fables from the Farm Why cows win the farm animal popularity contest – and sheep most definitely do not Among those of us old enough to remember, Coopers Farm has often been likened to an i-spy Book of The Farm. These tiny pocket books were the pre-digital way of keeping children entertained. Each one was dedicated to a different topic like The Seaside, Birds, Cars or even Motorways (a novelty way back then), each page illustrated with objects you had to look out for and then tick off. Once completed, and I never knew anyone who ever did, you could send them back to the publisher – Big Chief I Spy - and look forward to receiving a magnificent prize such as a pencil or a badge. Those were the days! Fact is over the past 20 years we have managed to collect, or at some point tried our hand at, most of the farm animals that would have featured in one of these books – cows, pigs, sheep, goats, chickens, turkeys, guinea fowl – and many of them are still here. Though some are most definitely not. The goats were the worst, escaping, eating the roses, making a racket and generally getting in the way. They only lasted a few weeks but sheep come a close second in my “more effort than their worth” opinion, but it’s OK because they’re Adrian’s sheep and my cows, so it’s not my problem. When we first came to Coopers we had almost no farm knowledge, Adrian decided to sign up for an NVQ in agriculture at Hadlow College. While there he was taken under the wing of a very experienced shepherd who turned up at the farm one day with five ewes and a ram having rightly decided that being taught in a classroom is only half the job, getting stuck in is far more important. The die was cast, the flock was installed so, as you do, I went and bought six cows. “Sheep shearing can be a very competitive business” But here’s the thing. Once the cows are turned out in the fields in the spring, apart from checking on them every day it’s a pretty carefree summer. The shepherd’s work however is never quite done. As someone famously said there are two things sheep like doing, one is escaping and one is dying and if they can die escaping then that is true happiness. All summer they have to be regularly wormed, have jabs to stop diseases, their feet trimmed and be sprayed with noxious chemicals to prevent fly strike, a ghastly Hammer House of Horror condition where bluebottle flies lay their eggs in the wool and if undetected the maggots burrow into the sheep’s skin and literally devour the poor animal. This is less of a problem once they’ve been shorn but that too is a major undertaking – and, rather like a hot dog eating competition, can be a very competitive business. Matt Smith, a farmer from Cornwall can shear a sheep in 44 seconds and recently broke a world record by shearing 731 ewes in nine hours! In his heyday, Adrian could manage about 15 sheep a week, not quite a match for Matt who by my calculations would whizz through our 80 in under an hour, but these days we employ the services of the much younger James. But it still takes the two of them all day to get them in, shear them, swap the combs and cutters, make endless cups of tea and ‘wind’ the fleeces into big wool sacks. Over in the cattle department I will spend my summer wandering gently through the meadows watching my brown cows just grow sleeker and glossier. I rest my case. Follow Jane Howard – and the farm – on Instagram @coopersfarm surrey-homes.co.uk 138
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Surrey Homes | SH46 | August 2018 | Wedding supplement inside

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