Clockwise Cat Issue 40

will be carts all over the parking lot. One person won’t be able to go get them all. And, what’ll they
have to do? Hire more people!
So, so, so- inside of the store- now, this is very, very important- and everyone must participate-
decide on a number, say, between one and five, let’s say you pick the number “three.”
What you have to do- and this is tremendously, tremendously important- take three items, cans,
jars, bottles, boxes and put them on a shelf someplace else in the store- and, the further the better from
where they were originally.
Now- even more important- do not do this with perishable items like bread, milk, cheese, meat,
fish! If left out long enough those things will spoil and the cost will be passed on to the American
shopper. We don’t want that to happen! So, only, only- only- non-perishables.
If everyone does this the stores will have to hire more people- even if they’re part time- to put
things back where they belong.
Here are a few other ones. First, do not- ever- bag your own groceries. Just stand there. Make
the cashier do it or have her get the front-end manager to find someone to do it. Second, never, never
use the self-checkout. Each one of those machines is taking the place of a cashier. Remember, if you bag
your own groceries or use the self-checkout, you’re taking a job away from a fellow American. Another
one is, if your store has scales and codes- for you to weigh your own produce and put a price on them,
don’t do it! Again, make the cashier do it!
Fourth, as they’re checking you out, tell them you either forgot something or had the wrong size
or brand- make them go get it for you.
Fifth, fill out those Customer Comment/Complaint cards. Tell them things are too slow, it takes
too long- tell them they need to hire more employees.
So, I’m sure you see the utter genius in my plan to get every American involved in job creation.
Imagine what you can do at Target or Barnes and Noble, Home Depot, Lowe’s,
J. C. Penny’s- and how about shoe stores? That would be incredible, simply incredible.