The Progressive Teacher Vol 02 Issue 04

Rajkumar
Sharma is
the Principal
of Satyug
Darshan
Vidyalaya
(Residentialcum
Day
Boarding
school), Faridabad, Haryana
under the aegis of Satyug
Darshan Trust (Regd.) whose
vision and mission is based
on the Ideology of Equanimity
& Even Sightedness. Satyug
Darshan Vidyalay is known
for value based education
(VBE). R.K. Sharma believes
that real education prepare
the child for life.
R.K.Sharma has been
awarded by various
organization for his hard work
and passion for teaching
----Rastiya Vidya Saraswati
Puraskar (ISC, Delhi) Rastiya
Siksha Jyoti Award (IIEM,
Delhi), Life time Achievement
& Gold Medal (ISC, Delhi),
Best Principal, Haryana By
SOF, Honoured by Faridabad
Manufacturing Association
and Siksha Rattan Award By
Vishwa Mitra Parivar, Delhi.
yelling. Actions speak louder
than words. Your child will
learn to respect you if you
mean what you say.
7) Appreciate children for tasks
well done, seek their advice
and give them choices. Thus,
they will grow in self-esteem.
8) Withdraw from conflict - If
your child is testing you
through a temper tantrum
or being angry or speaking
disrespectfully to you, it is
best to leave the room or
tell the child to leave. Don’t
leave in anger.
9) Never tell your child that
he is bad. That destroys his
self esteem. Help your child
recognise that you love him
but it is his/her behaviour
that you are unwilling to
tolerate. So separate the
deed from the doer. It will
help your child to have
healthy self-esteem; he must
know that he is loved by you
unconditionally.
10) Most parents want to get
an ugly situation under
control as soon as possible.
They look for an expedient
solution. This often reflects
in the behaviour of the child
who feels overpowered. If we
spank our child, he will learn
to use acts of aggression to
get what he wants when he
grows up.
So understand your child because
nothing in this world is more
important than your child. Do
not worry that children never
listen to you: worry that they are
always watching you.
Positive parenting–for
strong-willed children
Strong-willed children can be a
challenge when they are young
but if sensitively parented, they
become terrific teens and young
adults. They are self motivated
and they go after what they
want; they are almost impervious
to peer pressure. Some parents
call them difficult or stubborn
children. But these children
are people of integrity, who are
not easily swayed from their
own view point. These children
are spirited and courageous.
They want to learn things for
themselves rather than accepting
what others say, so they test
limits over and over. Often
strong- willed children are prone
to power struggle with their
parents. However, it takes two to
have a power struggle; you don’t
have to get into every argument
started by him. These children
can be a handful with high
energy, challenging, persistent. So
we have to nurture their qualities
and encourage their cooperation.
1. Avoid power struggle by
using routine and rules.
2. It is effective to be calm, and
thus avoid wear and tear in
your relationship and of your
nerves.
3. Let the child take charge
of as many of his own
activities as possible. Don’t
nag him. Children who feel
independent and in-charge
of themselves will have less
need to be oppositional;
they take responsibility early
because they want mastery
more than anything else.
4. If you give orders, the child
will almost always get angry.
If you offer a choice, he feels
like the master of his own
destiny. So give your child
choices. He will learn to be
independent.
5. Give him authority over his
own body. If you order he
will naturally resist you.
But teach him that there
is no shame in letting new
information change his mind.
6. Don’t push your child into
opposing you. You will know
when it is a power struggle
between you and your child.
If you are investing in
winning a battle against your
child, you always stand to
lose. What’s most important
is the relationship. You don’t
have to prove you are right.
7. You can set reasonable
expectations and enforce
them. But under no
circumstances you should try
to break your child’s will or
force him to give in to your
views. He has to do what you
want, but he is allowed to
have his own opinions and
feelings also. So listen to
him. Just consider how you
would want to be treated and
treat him accordingly.
8. Discipline him through the
relationship, never through
punishment. The more you
punish your child, the more
you undermine his desire
to please you. Allow him
to express his hurt/ fears/
disappointment, so that he
can overcome them. You are
a role model for your child.
9. Provide a supportive and
loving atmosphere at home.
Most strong-willed children
fight for respect. If you offer
it to them, they don’t need
to fight to protect their
position. So offer him respect
and empathy.
10. Nurture his natural
spirituality. Create an
atmosphere where the child
is encouraged to grow in his
intelligence. The child will
become spiritual without
even knowing the word
spirituality.
Sep/Oct 2015
www.progressiveteacher.in 17