Crawford Times 60 ONLINE

FEATURE ARTICLE
Manipulators often voice assumptions about a person’s
intentions or beliefs and then react to them as if they’re
true in order to justify their feelings or actions, all the while
denying what was said in the conversation. They may act as
if something has been agreed to or decided on when in fact it
hasn’t. This is an attempt to ignore any input or objection the
person may have had (Lancer, 2019).
Manipulation can have a deeply negative effect on you so
it’s necessary to know how to deal effectively with the most
commonly used psychological manipulation techniques. The
goal is to learn to anticipate the manipulator’s actions and to
not be one of their “puppets”. These are tools you can use to
protect yourself from being manipulated in a negative manner:
• Everyone should know his or her rights. This allows you to
recognise when your rights have been violated. By knowing
your rights, you’re able to protect and defend yourself from
being manipulated.
• Victims should avoid personalisation and self-blame. The
aim of a manipulator is to exploit your weaknesses for their
own benefit. Ask yourself the following questions: Am I being
treated with genuine respect? Are these expectations of me
reasonable? Do I feel good about myself in this relationship?
These questions are an important tool for self-reflection.
When you take a stand against a
manipulator their usual reaction is to
get angry at you quickly, especially if
you refuse to follow their game. They
tend to get frustrated quickly and
may insult you, referring to you in
disparaging and judgemental terms,
or direct atrocities at you. This is a
consequence of their own distrust.
Manipulators intend to humiliate you
but it’s important that you maintain
control of your emotions and keep
a level head. In doing so, you’ll be
able to avoid being manipulated
and being held captive under their
control. If you don’t capitulate, the
manipulator will get bored and look
for another victim. Life is always
much better away from toxic people!
• It’s important to learn to say no. If you’re able to say no
effectively and diplomatically then you can stand your ground
and maintain a ‘workable’ relationship. You should be able
to say no without feeling guilty.
• Individuals should be aware of how they are feeling.
Manipulation can be subtle, so it can be difficult to
recognise when it’s happening to you. However, there are
some common things that manipulators tend to do, such as
casting doubt, projecting insecurities, and making you doubt
yourself. By learning to tune in to how you’re feeling, you
may be able to spot manipulation more easily.
• Be aware of individual’s who threaten withdrawal. People
who make you feel like they’ll take something away from you
if you don’t act the way they want are being manipulative.
These threats may involve the withdrawal of many things
– their company, their love, their money, their support, or
anything else they threaten to withhold from you.
References:
https://www.bustle.com/articles/162103-11-signs-youre-being-manipulated-in-a-relationship-how-to-fix-it
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/toxic-relationships/201704/are-you-being-manipulated
https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/communication-success/201407/how-recognize-andhandle-manipulative-relationships
https://exploringyourmind.com/psychological-manipulation-techniques-you-may-be-a-victim-of/
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