Milestones Magazine - Summer 2019

1. Manage Your Expectations: When we first book that adventure, we are often
swayed by the images we see in the brochure – glossy, sunshine-filled, where
the family lays on the beach on matching towels, the parents drinking slushy
wine drinks out of coconuts. But our reality is very different. If we set our
expectations based on the dream, when it doesn’t happen that way, we may
get disappointed, angry, and resentful, and often we claim the vacation was
a failure. We expect the vacation to go as we imagined, when in fact, if we
expect things will happen, we can plan for the eventuality and save ourselves
the disappointment.
Here’s an example of how to manage expectations. We planned a week-long road
trip in Italy, hitting all the major cities in a very short amount of time. Since it was
a rather expensive trip, and it was our first time, we decided we wanted to fit in as
much sightseeing as possible. For me, that meant going to all the museums. And
what *better* (note the sarcasm) place to take a fidgety autistic child than to
multiple fine art museums! Rather than assuming we could just walk into the
museums and he would be magically transformed into a child that loved fine art
and wanted to chat about it, we reframed our expectations. We knew he wouldn’t
do well and that he did better when he had time to play on a playground or just
walk around, so we decided to only go to the museums that were within or next to
public parks. We would go to the park and one of the adults would stay behind
while the other went to the museum, and then we would swap. Was it ideal? No,
but we both got to see the museum, and Aidan could stay in the park and play
and would remain content. All of our goals were met.
In Rome, we passed the time before our museum tickets by riding family tandem
bikes around Villa Borghese. When it came time for our museum entrance, Aidan
was so engaged with us as a family that he asked to come to the museum too.
And he walked around the art pleasantly and without fuss. This exceeded our
expectations and made for a nice family outing. But by managing our expectations,
we had the ability to be prepared for any eventuality.
2. Ask for Help: It never hurts to ask for help. Sometimes, I feel awkward asking
strangers for assistance, but when I do, it always turns out well. First, in the
airport, utilize TSA Cares to help get your family through security. TSA Cares is
a helpline that provides travelers with disabilities, medical conditions and other
special circumstances additional assistance during the security screening
process. You can call them at (855) 787-2227 to get everything set up. On the
plane, if you need extra time boarding, it never hurts to ask the gate agents if
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