1977-1978

More documents

Recommendations

Info

WOULDN’T YOU LIKE TO... by Scott Mandel WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO forget you're a civilized person, and take the manufacturers of Israeli telephones, washers, dryers, etc., and...? WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO know why on earth there couldn't be normal pay phones here, that take real money? WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO one day, put your Israeli money to good use--and play a game of monopoly with it? WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO stop being referred to as a tourist? WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO put all bureaucrats through the same hassles that you're put through--every time they want to receive their nay? WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO put all bureaucrats who refused to speak English to you into a foreign country--and watch them try to find a W.C.? WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO get mail regularly--like everv day? WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO have the Israeli girls chase after the American guys the way the Israeli guys chase after the American girls? WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO see someone discover a D.I.B. repellent? WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO send out for a pizza? WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO go home and find 147 ways to disguise hamburger like the Israelis have found 147 ways to disguise chicken? WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO go back to the time when you didn't .know what an eggplant was? WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO have your family and friends back home be here— so that there would be no reason for us to leave? 42
"Shalom, ani rotzeh ticket to France. No, no, wait... make it to Spain, yeh, Spain, I can get into that". The world is my Super sol as I sit in the backless chair of the travel agency, bon-vivantly picking the country which will be my pre-Pesach playground. Eey, after all, I ain't no Isra-eli. I'm a "chad s h ’natiter" doing a year holding pattern in the airways of life. i4s long as I am up here in the ozone, why not make a few swoops and see what is going on elsewhere in the hemisphere? " O X . we have a Swissair roundtrip flight to Lisbon, or you can return with El Al." "I’ll take the El Al. Imean, heh, k'chol v ’levan all the way, go team!" I take the stack of bills out of my pocket, swallow hard and hand the total, approximately IL. 3996 and 40 "grotes" to the quadralingual agentette. I bid her farewell, and ambulate out of the office to go home and pack a pair of B V D ’s, or maybe even two pairs. All I have to worry about now is if ’ol superfly at the campus bank is going to refuse to give me traveller's checks and force me to survive in Europe on $37 cash. The black morning sky covers a silent Jerusalem when, suddenly, explosions burst forth, sirens scream at a shrilling pitch! I awaken with my heart beating in overdrive and hands and legs flying in four directions until finally one of my appendages smashes down on the alarm clock near my head. Just as suddenly as it began, Jerusalem again falls silent. I am convinced that I am a masochist to pay IL3996 and 40 "grotes" to wake myself up at 3:01 in the morning. Well, I am already awake, so I might as well get dressed and go to Spain, especially since Camp Resnick is low key on the action scale this week. "Where the hell is my other shoe, dammit?" This Nesher taxi dude had better show his chassis within 5 minutes or I am going to get irritated. Aft the airport, the jet taxis to the runway, passing a star of David painted on the tail of another jet and I wonder why I am leaving. Six hours and a stop in Zurich later, I am walking across the runway in Lisbon 's International Airport laughing simply from the weirdness of all the travelling. "What the hell am I doing in Portugal?" A sense of adventure hits me as I rode through the streets of Lisbon looking for a place to put myself for the night. M y quick impression of Lisbon was a good one, despite the pissing weather and someone spitting at me from an eighth story window. I n conjunction with my original plans to wander around Spain and Portugal in an alcoholic stupor, I treated myself to some excellent fish and a bottle of red. Finding my pension afterwards was an interesting experience, being that my main concern was just trying to stay on the sidewalks and not stagger into a galloping local bus. M y mission was accomplished. And I was up the next morning and on my way to Spain. Riding on the bus the next morning into the center of M adrid, I stared out of the window, 'My 7 od, I'm back in Queens!" Then I noticed something on the windshield- yes, it was rain streaks. Nothing like sunny Spain! I dragged my bags up and down the large Spanish boulevards like a wet sponge playing the old "meet me at American Express" game. I would have gotten to the office sooner had I not asked a blind man for directions. Midway through the week I decided to confirm my return flight, just to be sure. It was then that Swissair informed me that El Al had shut down its services. M y Spanich vacation abruptly turned into "Operation Evacuation". I combed every travel agency in downtown 1 adrid seeking an alternative flight back to Israel. Each "sorry, no places", made my situation so increasingly desperate that I underwent a personal political upheaval and led myself into the Lufthansa Airline office. Their price threw me back into the street ^ immediately. M y thought of tramping out of Spain to France, Italy or Switzerland was dashed by the Swissair agent: "You must fly from Lisbon only, in order to have your ticket honoured". I couldn't believe it. I was trapped in Spain! How long could my money hold out? "Won’t somebody please let me go home? Whatever happened to the Law of Return?" Finally someone suggested trying the student charter flights, and off I ran through the hot M adrid subway for the 4th time that day. "Yes, we have a flight tomorrow, London-Tel Aviv, but i t ’s your responsibility to get to Lisbon, so come back here when you have arranged a flight there." "Yes m a ’am". Zoom, back into the streets and down into la 1 etro for a charge on the British Airways folks. I race to the door of the office, but naturally i t ’s closed— siesta time until 4 p.m. (a phenomenon with which we are all familiar). To pass the nerve racking moments, I do up a coffee and afterwards attend to my business. I have just asked crucial question number one and await my answer holding my breath- "there ’s a flight leaving ihis afternoon from
Page 1 and 2: ni'iDUjoo 5> =«* &?>> # ss ii $ n
Page 3 and 4: Simcha Torah Every end is a beginni
Page 5 and 6: J u l Y 13, F i^ sf day of Olpan. X
Page 7 and 8: [he Storm fit. Scopus, Jerusalem ev
Page 9 and 10: 9
Page 11 and 12: I wish I had a better filter; cause
Page 13 and 14: Nov. 15, Jerusalem I thought I was
Page 15 and 16: M a j A u a / 6 6 S t * J S A Y S H
Page 17 and 18: MoV so long ago 5 Q>o rru^ §vrsV O
Page 19 and 20: Every individual reacts differently
Page 21 and 22: BLACK IS HERE! Yes, gather round on
Page 23 and 24: To oA\i\oic X ^rm\vcd one. Wever- \
Page 25 and 26: O r a n g e s r e d s s and greens
Page 27 and 28: Of Flies and Phantoms Dahab... I 'm
Page 29 and 30: 0 v four Uneoscind VJ n niks one cc
Page 31 and 32: A booab tXrpl odtd on Glv/a+ &a*y%
Page 33 and 34: Two men stood side by side at a cer
Page 35 and 36: Archeology My site The abrasive san
Page 37 and 38: 3 7
Page 39 and 40: 29
Page 41: simply Israel 1948-1978, I refer to
Page 45 and 46: Athens... Landing in Athens... I he
Page 47 and 48: 47
Page 49 and 50: Petra-Jordan thi JumJA cmd J?nmi- t
Page 51 and 52: X ^ h o v N o r l ^ - b h l W C btC
Page 53 and 54: 53
Page 55 and 56: 55
Page 57 and 58: BOOSTERS " But when I need you besi
Page 59 and 60: Dear Yossi, I’ve been back for tw

1977-1978

You also want an ePaper? Increase the reach of your titles

Delete template?

Save as template?