1977-1978

THE LOST CHAPTER OF GENESIS
While on a recent archeological dig3 I discovered the lost chapter 51 of Genesis
In the beginning 3 after God. had finished His first week of creation and had finally
rested on Shabbat3 He set about to work on His second week. And the world was full and
lively from His first week's work and the Lord foresaw Man multiplying throughout the
world. And the Lord said3
"Let there be a reason for Man to come and stay awhile in
Ha'aretz. Let it also constitute a break from his education." So the Lord3 God3 created
the Hebrew University One-Year Program. And G o d looked at it and put in the brochure that
it was good. A n d it was evening and it was morning3 a first day.
And God said3 "Let there be an organization to help Man in struggle to enter the O.Y.P.
And let this organization fully orient Man into the WQrkings of the Ha'aretz society."
So the Lord created the American and Canadian Friends of the Hebrew University. And the
Lord saw that it was beseder. And it would have been evening and then morning3 a second
day.
And the Lord said3
"Let me create a temporary housing for the many men who will come.
And let it be used for only three years. " And God named it the Elef. And He looked at it
and immediately made plans for transferring to Resnick. And it was evening and it was
morning3 and there still was no hot water for the third day.
And the Lord said3 "Let there be bureaucracy3 so that Man will not have idle time3
and will use his free time constructively3 standing in lines. And let it flourish around
the land." So the Lord3 God3 made bureaucracy and the pakid to go with'it. And the Lord
saw that it was kacha-kacha. And the evening and the morning were held up in red tape
for the fourth day.
And the Lord said3 "Let there be'asimonim'so that Man can further occupy his time
looking for them in order to make a phone call. And let it be a further test of his
patience that after he shall find the required amount of 'asimonim' that he shall have to
find a phone that works." And God saw that it was 'eh'. And the evening and the morning
were out of order for the fifth day.
fi
And the Lord said3 "I have been chauvinistic in my refemces to only Man. Therefore3
I will create something only for Woman; to glorify her3 and never leave her unattended
in Ha'aretz." So the Lord created 'pushtackim' to always be by Woman in Ha'aretz. And-the
Lord looked at them and decided that enough's enough and He went to vacation in Greece
for a few weeks. And it was evening and morning3 another day.
Scott Mandel