Southern Indiana Living JulyAug 2016

A Note to Baby Boomers
Dale’s Tale,
For What It is Worth
T
ell your story. Write it. Record it.
Don’t put it of. And don’t hold
back.
That I urged you a while
back.
Now I follow my own advice.
Your children and grandchildren want to
know, or will. So should mine, I fgure. If
only my parents, and grandparents, had
left more of who they were and how they
were.
You too, I bet, are left with way
too many questions without answers. So
here it goes, more of me. If any of its fatters,
terrifc. But I know beter.
If it beter reveals, or explains,
mission accomplished. Remember, I
claim only to be honest, not normal.
I like to listen more than to talk.
Litle wonder I leave 28 zillion cell-phone
minutes on the table. Or that I chose a profession
- newspapering - that is all about
asking others to talk. One of the few advantages
to being an only child is being
comfortable with quiet. When I have
something to say, I say it. Too many others
talk a lot without saying much.
I do not have a gun. I feel safer
without one. I could be wrong, perhaps
dead wrong. I just know that I can get
mad or depressed without you or me or
anyone else being shot. No one else can
grab my gun and start shooting, purposefully
or otherwise. All that seems worth it
to be unarmed, even if I get crazier.
I shave in the shower with a bar
of soap instead of shaving cream. Works
okay, saves time. I never lose enough
blood to call Red Cross. I shave almost every
day. I do not appreciate the scraggly
look, which seems the norm these days.
Besides, facial hair itches.
I believe in prayer but do not
pray enough. I enjoy worshipping - for
me, that is at Catholic Mass - but I feel
fairly litle obligation to atend each week.
My faith helps me to practice right from
wrong, to care about what really maters.
Yet I am a prety lousy disciple. I count on
God puting up with me. If He gets fed up,
though, I have no one else to blame.
I am like my father, hopefully in
profound ways but defnitely in mundane
ones. That is, I pay bills typically as soon
as I get them so I will not forget. And I
do not need to park next to wherever I’m
headed. Too much pressure, feeling determined
to land the closest possible spot. I
reserve pressure for unimportant things
I make important, like paying bills right
away.
Decades ago, I switched from
wearing boxer shorts to briefs. It was a
bigger decision than whether to go with
mayonnaise instead of Miracle Whip.
Anyway, looking recently for a deal on
briefs, I discovered most of the selection
to be neither briefs nor boxers, but boxer
briefs. What was broken that needed
fxing? I do not recall geting to vote on
this. I counted on wearing briefs to my
grave. Like I fgured I always could go get
another VCR.
Remember, I claim only to
be honest, not normal.
I quietly boycot businesses for
reasons big and small. It is as militant as
I get these days. One of the places on my
list is an ice cream shop that used to give
a pup cup to take home to Toby. Then
the deal changed; no pup cup without a
pup in tow. Not unreasonable, I suppose.
Thing is, the freebie was the main reason
I visited this particular shop. Toby must
wish I either was less principled or more
inclined to take him with me to church or
the supermarket.
I am not objective about law
enforcement. I am the father of a police
ofcer. I believe that when people
behave themselves, police ofcers behave
themselves. If or when the exception
happens, change is imperative. I just don’t
see evil when I see the police. My son is one
of my heroes. So are all the other ofcers
who deserve trust and appreciation and
nothing but.
I watch my favorite television
shows and movies over and over. I have
seen many of the Big Bang Theory and
Modern Family episodes probably 20
times, for instance. One prime exception
- as much as Game of Thrones captivates
me, once a week wears me out. Then
again, if I watched it morning, noon and
night, I actually might learn what is going
on.
In high school, I wanted to date an
African American girl. I did not, however,
only because of how people might react. I
remain disappointed in myself.
At 62, I am a young old person.
My list of health issues grows, but so does
my peace about whatever will be will be.
I long worried about how long I will live.
I beter now worry about how well I live.
My ears began to ring a few months ago.
They well may ring for the duration. I felt
sorry for myself at frst. Now I am used to
it and am proud of it.
I look for good in people before I
look for bad. I am slow to hate, except, too
often whoever is driving the car in front of
me.
I have not been outside the
United States and it looks like I never will.
I cannot imagine going through
life without a dog.
I am more a mustard than a
ketchup guy.
I never have atended Thunder
Over Louisville and I do not feel deprived.
I am a live-and-let-live type,
with the following asterisk. I have no use
for bugs. I spend summers with a handy
can of wasp spray. Mosquitoes, spiders,
ladybugs, it is as if Insect A & M is having
a reunion at our place. Then there are
stinkbugs. They are on the kitchen faucet,
in the bath tub, on the TV screen, along
the bedroom wall, everywhere. You too
have stinkbugs? Trade you your supply
for mine.
Well, that’s some of me. Be kind.
Now what’s on your list? •
After 25 years, Dale Moss
retired as Indiana columnist for
The Courier-Journal. He now
writes weekly for the News
and Tribune. Dale and his
wife Jean live in Jeffersonville
in a house that has been in
his family since the Civil War.
Dale’s e-mail is dale.moss@twc.com
July/Aug 2016 • 9