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pain. It left me with so many<br />
questions. Why would anyone<br />
kill Robby? And who?<br />
We learned that Robby had<br />
died by strangulation two days<br />
earlier. To think that he had<br />
been dead for two days was incredible!<br />
The article reported<br />
that a woman named Lindsay<br />
was involved, and that she had<br />
a 14-year-old child.<br />
Gene and I were surprised to<br />
feel concern for this woman—<br />
our son’s murderer. We found<br />
ourselves praying for her, her<br />
son, and her mother. Only God<br />
could have placed this compassion<br />
in our hearts for her.<br />
I was numb and had no idea<br />
what to do. I didn’t know what I<br />
wanted, much less what I needed.<br />
Dear friends surrounded<br />
us. We were so grateful for their<br />
prayers and support. The pain<br />
in my heart, the longing for<br />
my son—it was all more than<br />
I could have borne on my own.<br />
Three days later, Gene and<br />
I held a private ceremony for<br />
Robby. We listed the names<br />
of everyone we could think of<br />
that we might need to forgive<br />
regarding Robby’s death. The<br />
list included those we believed<br />
were partly responsible for his<br />
path of destruction. Our own<br />
names were on this list, as we<br />
were blaming ourselves and<br />
asking what we could have<br />
done differently. And Lindsay’s<br />
name was there too.<br />
I forgave Lindsay and others,<br />
but my pain remained.<br />
My sadness ran so deep; I cried<br />
for months. Sometimes I wondered<br />
if I would ever be okay<br />
again, but then I’d remember<br />
that with God’s help, I had overcome<br />
every trial I had faced so<br />
far. That gave me hope that,<br />
while I wasn’t okay right now,<br />
one day I would be.<br />
Months later, I shared with<br />
my church family the depth<br />
of my sadness and asked for<br />
prayer. As our pastor prayed,<br />
my friends surrounded me<br />
with their loving arms. A few<br />
days later, I realized my daily<br />
crying had stopped. My sadness<br />
had lifted, and I felt lighter.<br />
I praised God for answered<br />
prayer and thanked Him for<br />
the love and care of my family<br />
in Christ.<br />
HOW COULD WE NOT FORGIVE HER? SO<br />
God used Lindsay’s going<br />
to prison to free her from<br />
the power of sin and to<br />
bring her into a life she<br />
never expected.<br />
MANY PEOPLE WANT TO CELEBRATE GOD’S<br />
I tried many times to write<br />
Lindsay a letter, but the words<br />
wouldn’t come. Gene, however,<br />
had found the strength to write<br />
to her. He mailed his letter 10<br />
months after Robby’s death.<br />
FORGIVENESS, YET REFUSE TO FORGIVE OTHERS.<br />
GENE: I had forgiven Lindsay,<br />
but it wasn’t until her case was<br />
complete and she had settled<br />
into a more permanent place in<br />
prison that I felt I should write<br />
to her. She had accepted a plea<br />
bargain and agreed to a 60-year<br />
sentence. She would be eligible<br />
to appear before a parole<br />
board after serving 25 percent<br />
(15 years) of her sentence.<br />
Until my letter, we were not<br />
sure if she knew we existed.<br />
Dori and I had had no contact<br />
with her; we had not wished<br />
to influence her sentencing<br />
either way.<br />
In my letter, I told Lindsay<br />
that Dori and I had forgiven her.<br />
As believers in Jesus Christ,<br />
we knew we were supposed to<br />
forgive anyone who has hurt<br />
us. Ephesians 4:32 (NIV) says,<br />
“Be kind and compassionate<br />
to one another, forgiving each<br />
other, just as in Christ God forgave<br />
you.” Furthermore, we’d<br />
been forgiven by our Savior<br />
countless times for countless<br />
sins. How could we not forgive<br />
her? So many people want to<br />
celebrate God’s forgiveness,<br />
yet refuse to forgive others.<br />
We didn’t want to be so selfish.<br />
It wasn’t easy, but it was<br />
the best decision we could<br />
have made. Harboring unforgiveness<br />
would have been<br />
like pouring our enemy a<br />
cup of poison and drinking it<br />
ourselves. Forgiving Lindsay<br />
would free us to live again. In<br />
my letter, I also shared the gospel<br />
of Jesus Christ with her. The<br />
only way Lindsay’s life could be<br />
transformed would be through<br />
the love and power of God.<br />
Interestingly, Dori and I<br />
had been involved with prison<br />
ministry for years. Seems<br />
God had already been preparing<br />
our hearts to love Lindsay<br />
by allowing us a perspective<br />
of prison most people never<br />
see. Lindsay responded to my<br />
letter with great remorse and<br />
humble gratefulness. Her letter<br />
touched Dori and me as only<br />
God could cause.<br />
DORI: After I read Lindsay’s<br />
response to Gene’s letter, I<br />
decided it was time I wrote to<br />
her, too.<br />
Here is part of what I said:<br />
22 <strong>Issue</strong> 01 / <strong>2020</strong> VICTORIOUSLIVINGMAGAZINE.COM
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