I saw I thought I remembered

Two passages of writing extending from the workshop Gestures of Portraiture
Florian Feigl and Litó Walkey with guest contributors
I saw I thought I remembered
the index exists in two places
the as if it’s just about to happen series–book two of four

Intro duction
The as if it’s just about to happen book series invites
a reengagement with four workshops, facilitated within HZT
Berlin’s BA Dance, Context, Choreography programme between
2014–2016. Four of HZT’s teaching staff initiated a collaborative
writing project with colleagues, HZT students and alumni to
access what persists through the entanglement of their artistic
and pedagogic practices. They returned to the pedagogic events
with the question “What was and is it doing and what can we
create with it now?”
Initial experiences, notes and memories from the workshops
were approached with a strategy of interruption. A specific set of
para meters informed a structure of excerpts, footnotes, invitations
and responses that produced a new order of connections based
on selectivity, discontinuity and proliferation.
As a reader you are encouraged to be involved with the passages
of writings and drawings within these four books and online
at the HZT website — to follow, skip across, take apart, expand,
reassemble, rewrite and respond further. You are invited to
expe rience what is still creating itself, as if it’s just about to happen.
Writing
structure
a poem
of eight
excerpts
from the
workshop
experience
a footnote
of 100 words
elaborates every
six-word excerpt as
a mini-essay, index,
archive or script
an invitation
of maximum
50 words addresses
an inquiry about
every excerpt and
its footnote
a response
of 250 words or
a drawing follows
after every
excerpt, footnote
and invitation
Book two of four has two central authors,
creating two parts interwoven with guest contributions.

I saw Florian I thought Feigl with I remembered
guest contributors
I saw I thought I remembered
the as if it’s just about to happen series–book two of four

ook 2 part 1
Florian Feigl with guest contributors
a poem
Shame on more of the same
And rubber boots are made of oil
A question of taste? maybe not
Fall is when leaves change colours
Deal with things one cannot see
I saw I thought I remembered
All that happens when getting closer
Become a memory. Now. And cry.
( 1
( 2
( 3
( 4
( 5
( 6
( 7
( 8

I saw Florian I thought Feigl with I remembered
guest contributors
I saw I thought I remembered
the as if it’s just about to happen series–book two of four

ook 2 part 1
Florian Feigl with guest contributors
book 2 part 1
Florian Feigl with guest contributors
Invitation
to students
In response to the footnote produce a one-liner. The idea is to have
a panorama, a landscape produced by one-liners:
1 — a subject, a thing, a feeling;
2 — a reference to space;
3 — a reference to time.
Fragments of fake Haikus.
a poem
Shame on more of the same
And rubber boots are made of oil
A question of taste? maybe not
Fall is when leaves change colours
Deal with things one cannot see
I saw I thought I remembered
All that happens when getting closer
Become a memory. Now. And cry.
( 1
( 2
( 3
( 4
( 5
( 6
( 7
( 8
1 )
Starting with fake biographical elements. Echoes and reverberations of personal narrations,
fantasies, jokes, made up memories, reflections and lies. An incomplete formation, varying
coherences, blank spots to be filled or left blank for the time being. Torn fabric, made and
produced together. Simple, sometimes silly. At times clear and easy to understand, at times
strange, even mysterious. A temporary landscape to relate to.

I saw I thought I remembered 2
3
Everyday
a restless
neck
lies on a
pillow,
cock-adoodledooo.
3:06 PM
at my
desk
bouncing
words on
fake
leather
damn i
can barely
think.
A dirty bathtub standing at a bus stop
just after you have missed the bus.
The voice is
an empty
space inside
my body
that is an
unexplored
animal, a male
or female
entity
with its space
without
turning from
inside to
outside.
To find oneself in Atlantis,
on a submarine and in a spaceship.
Laos, 2016:
a baby
gecko
sits next to
my tablet.
There is no prologue, no epilogue;
just open memories for the presence.
Long Time
naked at the pond,
three people.
Anger is trendy
One inch in this
direction or one
inch in the other
Since that day
in the shower,
I had to _ in the
foreigner’s line.
Eating
fried
cold fish
next to
the
midnight
train.
True, my eyelids are green,
that,s how I painted them.
What has
never been
mine,
a hole in my
stomach
wherein they
arrived
together, in
trust.
Response
from students

ook 2 part 1
Florian Feigl with guest contributors
book 2 part 1
Florian Feigl with guest contributors
Invitation
to Essi
This is an invitation to develop a text piece focusing on group and
passage as environment of making. In the making. In movement, in
transformation. All presences effecting each other. Moving and transforming
as group. Accepting in from the group, delivering to the group.
a poem
Shame on more of the same
And rubber boots are made of oil
A question of taste? maybe not
Fall is when leaves change colours
Deal with things one cannot see
I saw I thought I remembered
All that happens when getting closer
Become a memory. Now. And cry.
( 1
( 2
( 3
( 4
( 5
( 6
( 7
( 8
2 )
Objects initiate dialogues, multi-logues, conversations. Gestures & movements. Play & shame,
ideas & insecurity, bold steps, surprising findings & painful confessions. Condensing into
images, colours, tastes, smells, materialities. Passages & formulations. Drawing lines: notebook
& pen, what one knows & what one wants, eyes & hands, fantasies & events. Moving bodies.
Grouping, as group, delivered to a group. Gradually dissolving images into experience.

I saw I thought I remembered 4
5
bodies of hair, bodies of skin, bodies of chlorophyll, bodies of crystal
moving in formations towards and away from the light
connecting the joints, counting the bones, smelling the holes
blowing air into the air
Response
from Essi
together (unsynchronized rhythm)
opening softening sweating evaporating
blooming bursting splitting spitting
pulsating resonating vibrating signaling
leaning towards
rubbing against
pushing and breaking
eating each others
connecting parts that are separate
creating noise
creating warmth
creating complexity

ook 2 part 1
Florian Feigl with guest contributors
book 2 part 1
Florian Feigl with guest contributors
Invitation
to students
Say: Yes to … X … Say: No to … X …
Define a subject, a thing, an activity, a mode. Define a quality, a gesture,
a taste, a colour. But define just ONE. Something new, old or borrowed,
general or precise, personal or abstract, silly or dead serious.
a poem
Shame on more of the same
And rubber boots are made of oil
A question of taste? maybe not
Fall is when leaves change colours
Deal with things one cannot see
I saw I thought I remembered
All that happens when getting closer
Become a memory. Now. And cry.
( 1
( 2
( 3
( 4
( 5
( 6
( 7
( 8
3 )
And aware of deep, growing alienation while exploring and navigating—activating participation
in a common process of fabrication, affecting an environ-mental process of making, the making
and re-making of what is. Shifting perspectives that change set-ups for moments.
To observe, to offer, to try a gesture.

I saw I thought I remembered 6
7
Y
Response
from students
Yes to rock climbing. No
to rock climbing. / Yes to
expansiveness. No to
expansiveness. / Yes to
boxes. No to boxes. / Yes
to hurt. No to hurt. / Yes
to impure. No to
impure. / Yes to the tired
I-will-never-reach-homeever.
/ No to the tired
I-will-never-reach-homeever.
/ Yes to bringing.
No to bringing. / Yes to
Alien. No to Alien.
Yes to fuck. No
to fuck. / Yes to
pensing. No to
pensing. / Yes to
sculpture. No to
sculpture. / Yes
to Blur. No to
Blur. / Yes to
post-intellectualheadache.
No to
post-intellectualheadache.
/ Yes
to guilt. No to
guilt.

ook 2 part 1
Florian Feigl with guest contributors
book 2 part 1
Florian Feigl with guest contributors
Invitation
to Litó
“elude your surveillance, elude your surveillance”
“Fall is when leaves change colours”
This is an invitation to elaborate on notions, a situation, groups of
moments, dynamics and experiences of teaching — potentially in relation
to teaching as part of making, publishing & learning, an aesthetic
experience.
a poem
Shame on more of the same
And rubber boots are made of oil
A question of taste? maybe not
Fall is when leaves change colours
Deal with things one cannot see
I saw I thought I remembered
All that happens when getting closer
Become a memory. Now. And cry.
( 1
( 2
( 3
( 4
( 5
( 6
( 7
( 8
4 )
Microsleep. Overwhelmed by the complexity of the folds of a blanket dropped on the floor,
bored with one’s own simplified attempts to understand — what? The stupid satisfaction of
repetition — again? The insecurity . . . . The nervousness of nothing new. The fear when meeting
the utter resistance of the objects around and their total indifference. The screaming emptiness
inside. The panic . . . . Then break away. Break.
Some snakes play dead in moments of danger. We speak of autumn when leaves change
colour. Changing colour when getting ready to leave. It’s Fall. Leave. Then fall. Did I fall.
Did I fall asleep. I did. Supreme.

I saw I thought I remembered 8
9
My watching-over falls behind, chases after, exceeds ahead. It catches
voids and does not fit one picture.
Response
from Litó
Leave. Then fall.
Sleep. Fail to grasp.
Du bist die Aufgabe
Das ist eine Aufgabe
Gebe einen Brief auf.
Ich gebe auf.
Aufgeben, tut man einen Brief.
Teach this.
My thing is here. Looking at this. And this.
With this space between and then this line and then these two lines.
and then looking at this — focusing on this and seeing that the background
is out of focus.
And then focusing on the background and seeing how this is out of
focus, but seeing this and these lines all the time.
And this.
This is in two parts.
First over here. This tangle. Looking at it — where they come from and
where they don’t lead to and I guess I had the memory of moving with
them and them not reaching as far as I thought they could. And then,
I have that. Just like that. Maybe thinking “that’s not enough.”
And then over here, crouching down so that your eye level is level with
the seats. And looking at this still life. It’s quite symbolic how one rests
on the other and hovers lifted above the ground and the one that’s resting
on top allows the lower one to also lift a leg. So one has two legs lifted
and the other has one slightly lifted.*
*20 June 2016
rehearsal
with Biliana
Voutchkova
and Litó
Walkey for
All the notes
remain — a
populated
soliloquy.
Transcriptions
of the words
used when
showing a
banal detail
in the space.

ook 2 part 1
Florian Feigl with guest contributors
book 2 part 1
Florian Feigl with guest contributors
Invitation
to Tabea
Drawing between happening, becoming something past yet still effecting
possible nows: Over a period of seven days produce a collage, adding an
element per day. Produce a line drawing based on the source material of
the collage through direct copy of a structure, outlines, a shape, words,
a texture.
a poem
Shame on more of the same
And rubber boots are made of oil
A question of taste? maybe not
Fall is when leaves change colours
Deal with things one cannot see
I saw I thought I remembered
All that happens when getting closer
Become a memory. Now. And cry.
( 1
( 2
( 3
( 4
( 5
( 6
( 7
( 8
5 )
Images, always images. Bodies amongst other bodies! Moving. Processes in advent. Open to
being devised and experienced. Listening and observing. Gestural processes of choice making
regarding possibilities at hand. Listening and observing. To find out how a rising question can
possibly be articulated. A question that rises out of a process. Question as a situation that allows
to decide what one cannot decide. To find out what one does not know already all the time.

I saw I thought I remembered 10 11

ook 2 part 1
Florian Feigl with guest contributors
book 2 part 1
Florian Feigl with guest contributors
Invitation
to Tabea
seven gestures — a series of companion pieces (one pair a day for seven days)
a — fifty sharp pencils, stuffed in the mouth, the points right-angled on a
sheet of paper for five minutes
b — five-minute line drawing self-portrait
a poem
Shame on more of the same
And rubber boots are made of oil
A question of taste? maybe not
Fall is when leaves change colours
Deal with things one cannot see
I saw I thought I remembered
All that happens when getting closer
Become a memory. Now. And cry.
( 1
( 2
( 3
( 4
( 5
( 6
( 7
( 8
6 )
A body of light washing through space, changing the surface colours, reflecting waves. A body
of text, once dropped glowing for ages. Once swallowed burning from inside. A body of sound,
present when happening, gone when it stops. Bodies of different shapes and aggregates. Where
is the silence going when it is getting loud, how is the darkness getting compressed when it is
getting light. Gone or still present somewhere. Compressed, lingering. An invisible layer outside
of vision, a quality present. Still effecting all other bodies.

I saw I thought I remembered 12 13

ook 2 part 1
Florian Feigl with guest contributors
book 2 part 1
Florian Feigl with guest contributors
Invitation
to Essi
This is an invitation to describe in text two to six atmospheres, seasons,
dynamics and how they act upon, effect and produce change, transformation
within the same environment (concrete, abstract, real,
imaginary — a fragment, in detail) of your design and description.
a poem
Shame on more of the same
And rubber boots are made of oil
A question of taste? maybe not
Fall is when leaves change colours
Deal with things one cannot see
I saw I thought I remembered
All that happens when getting closer
Become a memory. Now. And cry.
( 1
( 2
( 3
( 4
( 5
( 6
( 7
( 8
7 )
Understanding a situation, a presentation, a study as an environ-mental, corpo-real event.
Environments of making. With a specific climate, atmosphere, depending on seasons, agents,
pressures, dynamics. In the making. When making. When audiencing. When witnessing.

I saw I thought I remembered 14 15
mountain follows cloud
follows wind
follows sun
Response
from Essi
sun touches through the leaves, the trunk, the soil and the eight-legged,
the six-legged, the four-legged and the two-legged leaning towards the
ground allow the weight of their bodies fall evenly towards its uneven
surface
river follows pebble
follows root
follows fungi
follows pathway
pathway draws a line across the mountain organising the two-legged
bodies and their hand held devices into uneven
patterns creating movement upwards, downwards, and around in circles
seed follows bird
follows star
follows gravity
gravity organises the rocks on the mountain, the light bones within the
bird body, the hair on the hairy body, the
cables beneath the ocean floor, the magnetic force fields within the
tectonic plate and the seeds within the fruit
gravity follows mountain
follows cloud
follows wind

ook 2 part 1
Florian Feigl with guest contributors
book 2 part 1
Florian Feigl with guest contributors
Invitation
to Litó
You are invited to write a song addressing different modes of decision
making: Intuitive, material, change of perspective. A sequence of differing
states, a before and a consecutive after in relation to the mode or process
of decision making you describe.
a poem
Shame on more of the same
And rubber boots are made of oil
A question of taste? maybe not
Fall is when leaves change colours
Deal with things one cannot see
I saw I thought I remembered
All that happens when getting closer
Become a memory. Now. And cry.
( 1
( 2
( 3
( 4
( 5
( 6
( 7
( 8
8 )
Physical, corpo-real knowledge to enter the movement of the various objects and entities.
Choreographic thinking and understanding to tell and perceive differences and to devise
situations. Environ-mental activation to produce experiences. Events. With a defined before
and after. Making decisions to learn what one does not already know.

I saw I thought I remembered 16 17
A song of how do you decide? change
Response
from Litó
Become a memory
now
and cry
obstruction then vision
then waiting and holding
then holding
then seeing and bleeding
then air and distraction
then flip
there’s a curve
there’s an echo
Become a memory
sleep will stay
or usher us
a stranger
now
to situations new
the effort to comprise
and cry
is all the soul can do
a direction from the stomach
that goes whoosh (a few meters in front to the right)
but then I’m still here
I’m not over there
Become a memory
sleep will stay
or usher us
a stranger
now
to situations new
the effort to comprise
and cry

ook 2 part 1
Florian Feigl with guest contributors
is all the soul can do
There’s been a lance quick and sudden
I’m not there yet
but the tear holds fire
enough to think through the parcels
and listen to what they impede
Become a memory
sleep will stay
or usher us
a stranger
now
to situations new
the effort to comprise
and cry
is all the soul can do
and cry
is all the soul can do
a poem
Shame on more of the same
And rubber boots are made of oil
A question of taste? maybe not
Fall is when leaves change colours
Deal with things one cannot see
I saw I thought I remembered
All that happens when getting closer
Become a memory. Now. And cry.
( 1
( 2
( 3
( 4
( 5
( 6
( 7
( 8
excerpt from On that specific pillow, Emily Dickinson
…
sleep will stay
or usher us —
a stranger —
To Situations
New
the effort
to comprise
it
is all the
Soul can do,
…

I saw Litó I thought Walkey with I remembered guest contributors
18
the index exists in two places
the as if it’s just about to happen series–book two of four

ook 2 part 2
Litó Walkey with guest contributors
book 2 part 2
Litó Walkey with guest contributors
Invitation
to Jeanine
Expose an adjacency-event
— and inscribe a testimony of it
Again and again
It turns what is in front of you
so that
vision of action
escapes
a poem
elude your surveillance, elude your surveillance
( 1
on the way to doing it
( 2
turn a subject into a process
( 3
stage a gentle sequence of push-leans
( 4
working out of the worked out
( 5
the index exists in two places
( 6
what does an exhale look like?
( 7
how do you know what happened? ( 8
1 )
Fail to grasp your close observation.
As I watch over myself as I watch over while I am watching a doing, my watching-over falls
behind. It chases after, exceeds ahead. It catches voids and does not fit one picture.
What is in front of me, turns into me in such a way that vision of action escapes, again and again.
Convictions of subjective perception are rotated by events of radical decentring that bring
pleasure-bearing adjacency.
All the space formerly in the service of protecting, guarding, advancing the self is now free to be in
the service of something else. – Simone Weil

the index exists in two places
20 21
Testimonials to Adjacency
It’s only worthwhile playing in the dirt if you are willing to get dirty.
Response
from Jeanine
You can’t see yourself from the inside
But if you stand close enough,
Side by side to your other side,
You will disappear.
Move fast forward into the bonfire.
Move to burn the former part of yourself,
the past particle, the past participle.
Lose your self, completely. Leave no trace.
Be the head that is the be head dead,
That turns to face itself. Escape.
Like the obverse portrait of an imperial coin,
You no longer have the body that got you here.
Experience yourself as just a little beside the point.
Direct yourself, otherly. Everything will be fine.
It’s lovely inside the heart that can hold itself, again.
Resist the point and shoot tulip on Instagram
And lay yourself down, facing the sky.
There’s memory up there that floats northerly.
Fred Astaire’s not dead, though
Trump is alive in the minds of Men on Meth.
You have to face that fact, once and for all.
Give yourself back to the sea. It can take it.
Imagine higher than the hardest mountain to climb. You can do it.
No amount of selfies on your iPhone will get you back home.
Plus, you left your flashlight behind, so, you’re pretty well fucked.
In the distance you see a clearing, and beyond that distance, your
house. Yet the closer you get, like a forever regret, you know, it will
never be the same.

ook 2 part 2
Litó Walkey with guest contributors
book 2 part 2
Litó Walkey with guest contributors
Invitation
to Florian
There will be a year in which there will be a month, in which there will
be a week in which there will be a day in which . . .
Observe a passage where one thing turns into another.
Tell this as a line through frames of time that draws relation to yourself.
a poem
elude your surveillance, elude your surveillance
( 1
on the way to doing it
( 2
turn a subject into a process
( 3
stage a gentle sequence of push-leans
( 4
working out of the worked out
( 5
the index exists in two places
( 6
what does an exhale look like?
( 7
how do you know what happened? ( 8
2 )
Caught in the movement process of migration.
We were awaiting something that in fact had already begun. – Erin La Cour
Frames of time, specified intervals of engagement. Triggering and jumpstarting a fragment
that is just this and for now, that holds possibility of being joined by another fragment and
transforming into something else on the way, while going, on the move, along for a trip, a
travel, a way through, across, migration.
A setting in motion with directional intent. An intention to move toward somewhere, but
not to get to a place. A place-seeking, not a place-finding.

the index exists in two places
22 23
Holding a 5-year-old on one hand and a plastic bag in the other I am
looking at the brand new T-Rex skeleton in the natural history museum.
I think of the plants T-Rex squashed when walking the environments of his
times, 68 to 66 million years ago, which potentially turned into the oil used
to produce the plastic bag (if plastic bags are actually produced from oil).
Response
from Florian
A thought that re-occurs when passing a Shisha bar on the way back from
work smelling the odours of apple-flavoured tobacco. Pieces of burning
charcoal. (Mental note: Chew a piece of coal. Taste the Cretaceous period.)
Of course I have to cry while feeling massively offended by the awareness of
the general vulnerability of my species. The incapability to cope physically,
intellectually, emotionally or for that in any way with universal scale is
hopeless.
But in a couple of million years some of us might be diamonds.

ook 2 part 2
Litó Walkey with guest contributors
book 2 part 2
Litó Walkey with guest contributors
Invitation
to Juan
and Johanne
and to Suvi
and Liina
Record a 10-minute conversation with your partner about:
“Turn a subject into a process” and its corresponding footnote.
Each transcribe only what your partner said.
Work together to combine and re-order your transcriptions into one
title and five sentences.
a poem
elude your surveillance, elude your surveillance
( 1
on the way to doing it
( 2
turn a subject into a process
( 3
stage a gentle sequence of push-leans
( 4
working out of the worked out
( 5
the index exists in two places
( 6
what does an exhale look like?
( 7
how do you know what happened? ( 8
3 )
The subject asks: “What am I able to do without feeling like shit?”
The process answers: “Work like clouds.”
A subject turns its head to the side
it turns to look behind and to itself
it stands in the middle of a crowded room
and it stands in an empty room
identified, defined, differentiated
or
non recognisable, non-distinct, unremarkable
A dramatic turn of events occurs: The subject becomes a process.
“Commit to the unlikely” it says.
An invitation.
A suggestive opening. The possibility for the thing as it is, to change.

the index exists in two places
24 25
Hold me like you’re always with someone and like you like you
Chances of rain are the risk is activity
I am you and you are me
If we ask the listening if it becomes if listening becomes a composition
A flickery voice travels above a field
Response
from Juan
and Johanne
turn a subject into a process conversation transcription
I think we have to I took it very personally
Response
from Suvi
and Liina
I love love it I was on sick leave maybe you can be tired of asking
why or what am I doing find yourself in india
text is the voice of the movie exhaustion
and time is the drama that has to happen
you might be working with this all your life
I don’t know losing it loose jump to a different place
two things I’m obsessed with but I choose a completely other one
this is how I’ve tried to survive destructive or not satisfied
you can take the shit or exhaust the shit
I’m most clearest when I’m in the process of an artistic work
unlikely as a guide

ook 2 part 2
Litó Walkey with guest contributors
book 2 part 2
Litó Walkey with guest contributors
Invitation
to Zhenya
Use the example in the footnote to make a portraiture of five gestures.
The portraiture necessitates an embodiment of navigation through
aligning and dis-aligning components.
Document the embodiment of this navigation through language in no
more than 250 words.
a poem
elude your surveillance, elude your surveillance
( 1
on the way to doing it
( 2
turn a subject into a process
( 3
stage a gentle sequence of push-leans
( 4
working out of the worked out
( 5
the index exists in two places
( 6
what does an exhale look like?
( 7
how do you know what happened? ( 8
4 )
An example
Staging affirms a time and place where things will exist together—to be seen.
To stage is to stare and stand, to stand and stare, to stop at a place, like a platform, deciding.
A sequence is a set of related events, movements and things.
Push and lean are physical gestures that also extend to notions such as overtaking, forcing,
relying, supporting and preferring.
And with gentleness.

the index exists in two places
26 27
This is an investigation
It’s dark / It’s dark, but you see some things
It’s dark, but you see me / It’s dark, but you see
Response
from Zhenya
You see a door, but I will close it
You see, I am in my underwear
There is this quality that I will let YOU guess
Because I need YOUR guess, just like you need
You have needs / And you are here
Not there / And even if you are there, you are here
I am not sure how to call this “here” place
I would say it’s a place that can remind of childhood
But childhood is not the key / It’s just a reference to . . . this
And three periods in a row means something is there
I invite you to look at . . . this
And figure out what can be there . . .
There, in those periods . . .
You see, you have to be here / And I know you are
But to know that you are here / You need to remember
Remember me pushing upside down?
Remember me thinking of gravity and looking in the mirror?
Remember me switching the lights off?
Remember me behind that curtain?
One can be manic / and obsessive
and sociopathic / and delusional
and broke / and afraid
and ready to move / and ready to be misunderstood
and not ready at all / and here and now
and very very very much in doubt / and hungry
and with no air to breathe / and on Facebook
and wasting time / and exploited
and and and and still

ook 2 part 2
Litó Walkey with guest contributors
book 2 part 2
Litó Walkey with guest contributors
Invitation
to Tabea
On the same page but not taking the space of the other, draw a repetition
where the intervals can perform together.
a poem
elude your surveillance, elude your surveillance
( 1
on the way to doing it
( 2
turn a subject into a process
( 3
stage a gentle sequence of push-leans
( 4
working out of the worked out
( 5
the index exists in two places
( 6
what does an exhale look like?
( 7
how do you know what happened? ( 8
5 )
This interval made of things gathered (of what’s there and not there).
A simultaneous gathering and forming.
Again the parts — have been, have happened, have impressed, imprinted memories and then
holding, moving through these.
Keeping them as they are, what they have come to be, as they have already occurred, trying
to “just repeat,” re-enter, reproduce.
Through re-occurrence and in co-occurrence, things change.
The worked out intervals can perform together, making concrete assemblages into an event.

the index exists in two places
28 29

ook 2 part 2
Litó Walkey with guest contributors
book 2 part 2
Litó Walkey with guest contributors
Invitation
to Helen
Consider this excerpt and its footnote and show more places.
Have this showing exist or at least end up in the space of a 5.83 x 8.27
inch page in words or markings that can be produced by a digital typeset.
a poem
elude your surveillance, elude your surveillance
( 1
on the way to doing it
( 2
turn a subject into a process
( 3
stage a gentle sequence of push-leans
( 4
working out of the worked out
( 5
the index exists in two places
( 6
what does an exhale look like?
( 7
how do you know what happened? ( 8
6 )
The synchronous is accurate to reality.
This is a description of not making anything new.
This is a description of a non-centric organising principle.
This is a description of actions or images developing along a vertical axis.
This is a deliberate deviation of our gaze.
This builds through non-building and neutralises semantic effects of sequencing.
This repeats the unintentional, void of decisions.
This gives access to new conditions with old language.
This considers the second time as initial as the first.
This brings recognition without ever having been seen before.

the index exists in two places
30 31
unsolicited self-interview for consideration regarding position
as assistant to Reb Anderson
Response
from Helen
Please describe previous gainful employment.
Started work at age 14 as busgirl at vegetarian restaurant in Rochester
New York, and then as an offset pre-press operator. During college
in Vermont: waited tables, library clerk, glassblowing assistant. Briefly
substitute postal mail carrier in Seattle, Washington. Couple years as
a museum preparator in Chicago — handling of objects large and small,
and general construction. So-called professor of studio art, aka material
and conceptual experimentation, for many years. In the context of role as
full-time faculty member, in addition to teaching, experience on various
departmental and university committees, thesis advisor for undergraduates,
advisor for graduate students, etc
What skills do you have that might be relevant?
comfortable doing basic carpentry, and familiar with the range of
common tools, and have taught others how to use them, though by no
means a skilled carpenter attuned to both appropriate transparency and
appropriate confidentiality informal tea preparation, incl matcha, sencha,
bancha, oolong, pu-ehr material knowledge, incl textiles, papers, pigments
long-distance walking
What else might we want to know in considering your application?
No priestly ambitions, though altogether glad to learn any/all aspects of
the vocation. I’m not looking for something to do and this is something
I would like to do.
Interest in ink grinding.
When are you available?
from October 16 onwards.
address as of October 15 : 15 Muir Beach Overlook, Muir Beach CA 94965
sent to Reb 29 July 2016
250 word / A5 11 August
HM:HM

ook 2 part 2
Litó Walkey with guest contributors
book 2 part 2
Litó Walkey with guest contributors
Invitation
to Tabea
For the duration of this drawing, stay close to an emission of breath,
especially before it begins and after it’s done
a poem
elude your surveillance, elude your surveillance
( 1
on the way to doing it
( 2
turn a subject into a process
( 3
stage a gentle sequence of push-leans
( 4
working out of the worked out
( 5
the index exists in two places
( 6
what does an exhale look like?
( 7
how do you know what happened? ( 8
7 )
Stretching beyond any assignable borders externally,
it is an emission of breath or vapour,
It looks past time, beyond the frame, after time, before it begins, after it’s done.
It looks like we’re keeping it going together, like things have fallen into place, like things
are running on their own.
It’s writing itself, the conditions are right, and we start before we’re ready.
Everything is in the releasing.
To allow, make available, surrender and to stretch out again.
To inaugurate self-generated permission,
and to become available for something else.

the index exists in two places
32 33

ook 2 part 2
Litó Walkey with guest contributors
book 2 part 2
Litó Walkey with guest contributors
Invitation
to Florian
Without warning, start in the middle and begin with the instant of today.
Use the internal grammar of:
“I-was-this” (I was scared) and “it-did-this” (it left a scar)
to know what happened.
Perform this and re-tell it in writing.
a poem
elude your surveillance, elude your surveillance
( 1
on the way to doing it
( 2
turn a subject into a process
( 3
stage a gentle sequence of push-leans
( 4
working out of the worked out
( 5
the index exists in two places
( 6
what does an exhale look like?
( 7
how do you know what happened? ( 8
8 )
I saw it, I heard it, they told me, she showed me, I was part of it, I remember it, something
broke, something was fixed, I was offended, someone left abruptly, it took so long, time passed
quickly, there was an interruption, I fell asleep, I hurt myself, I got lost, this other thing happened
at the same time, it made me want to do it, I had to do it again, I had to learn it, I had to teach
it, everything stopped, there was sincerity, it all seemed fake, I was scared, it left a scar.

the index exists in two places
34 35
I want an early start, allow the first tram to reach my consciousness and
wake me up. Half asleep I decide against snoozing and the possibility of
wicked dreams. I feel my back and immediately an overwhelming list of
things materialises. My mouth feels unusually dry, my brains like whipped
cream just not as sweet. The quote makes me smile. I think of doing the
laundry. Then I put on the coffee machine and get the newspaper. The
list is not a list but a pile of needs and wishes and tasks and duties all
related to people close and far. Things that are mutually exclusive. One
or the other. I think of moving bodies in space, different materialities and
dynamics, qualities and grammars. I put down the newspaper, get a cup
of coffee and think about identifying my own needs and wishes to single
out simple tasks from THE PILE. Putting down the cup I take a deck of
cards and rehearse a little card trick (the Lennard Green top shot, a flashy
way of card production, far beyond my limited skills). I do the laundry
and make a plan for the day. I change the plan over breakfast with partner
and kids. I feel the grudges and disappointments. I manage to explain my
needs and feelings. Several plans are changed again. I feel independent
and competent. On the way out I pick up the IKEA catalogue and drop it
in the recycling bin.
Response
from Florian

ook 2 part 1
Florian Feigl with guest contributors
Sources
Book Two Part One
Emily Dickinson, On that specific pillow, c. 1881
Franz Kafka, Metamorphosis, 1915
Book Two Part Two
Simone Weil, Gravity and Grace, translated by Arthur Wills, 1952
Erin La Cour, Response / One Events / AMCh Final Presentation, 2013
Workshop
description
Gestures of portraiture
In October 2015 Florian Feigl and Litó Walkey co-taught a workshop
designed to initiate the first year students into the BA HZT course. Within
the broader contexts of biography, identity and personal narration,
portraiture served as a process-based approach towards small formats of
dance, performance, composition and writing. Inquiries included: What
possible transformations do biographical narrations undergo when taken
apart and distributed into a group? What are possible relations between
the personal, the biographical and research? How do single elements of
personal resources change and develop when extracted and transferred
into other contexts? Practical approaches included notebook practice,
compositional strategies and practices, writing studies, studies with
textures and material, spatial relation and drawing, reading, thinking,
feedback and discussion in individual, small and large group constellations.

HZT teaching staff
Josephine Findeisen
Alistair Watts
Authors
–
Florian Feigl 1, 2
Judith Förster 1
Juan Felipe Amaya Gonzalez 1, 2
Simone Gisela Weber 1
1
book two
part one
Sheena McGrandles
Litó Walkey 1, 2
Renen Itzhaki
Camille Jemelen 1
guest writers
–
2
book two
part two
Britta Wirthmüller
Suvi Kemppainen 1, 2
Katerina Bakatsaki
Julek Kreutzer
Derrais (d.a.) Carter
HZT student & alumni
Katrine Staub Larsen 1
Jeanine Durning 2
guest writers
Anna Lena Lehr
Arnold Dreyblatt
–
Myriam Lucas 1
Essi Kausalainen 1
Johanna Ackva
Liina Mariudottir 2
Johannes Lothar Schröder
Asaf Aharonson
Magdalena Meindl
Joy Mariama Smith
Cécile Bally
Johanne Merke 1, 2
Rhys Martin
Sandhya Daemgen
Josefine Mühle 1
Helen Mirra 2
Katerina Delakoura 1
Lyllie Rouvière
Anne Schuh
Xenia Taniko Dwertmann
Zhenya Salinschi 1, 2
William Wheeler
Ewa Dziarnowska
Sunayana Shetty
Rosemarie Eberl 1
Grėtė Šmitaitė
all drawings
Ivan Ekemark
Julia Keren Turbahn 1
–
Forough Fami
Aabshaar Wakhloo 1
Tabea Xenia Magyar
project editor : Litó Walkey copy editor : Karen Christopher publisher : HZT, UdK
Berlin graphic design : Milchhof Atelier: Andreas Töpfer, Carsten Stabenow
printing : Steinmeier, Deiningen
Imprint
Special thanks to Tabea Xenia Magyar and all guest writers for their contributions to
this publication. Thanks to Chrysa Parkinson and DOCH for inspiration from the format
of The Dancer as Agent Collection publication. Thanks to Matthew Goulish and Lin
Hixson for inspiration from their assignment for reading essays, recounted in the
introduction by Jane Blocker for Matthew Goulish’s publication The Brightest Thing
in the World.
HZT — Inter-University Centre for Dance Berlin is the joint responsibility of the Berlin
University of the Arts (UdK) and the Hochschule für Schauspielkunst “Ernst Busch”
(HfS) in cooperation with TanzRaumBerlin, a network for the professional dance scene.
Weblink : www.hzt-berlin.de ISBN : 978-3-00-055501-5