24 Seven August 2020

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WRITTEN BY SEAN GROVERHOW TO HEAL YOURINNER SELF INQUARANTINEQIN QUARANTINE, SOONER OR LATER, YOUR INNER WORLDCOMES KNOCKING, AND UNFORTUNATELY FOR MANY OF US,IT WON’T BE A FRIENDLY VISIT.
MMany of my patients haveexperienced a resurgence of anxiety and depression sincethe lockdown began. Critical inner voices muted for yearshave returned with a vengeance. Those nasty, annoyingvoices that are quick to promote our failings, criticizeour appearance, and poke holes in our confidence. Evena simple glance in the mirror can trigger an avalanche ofdisapproval.Your inner critic’s goal? To turn you into a miserable,complaining curmudgeon. Let’s examine why your innercritic seems to thrive in quarantine.Most of us didn’t choose to isolate. The pandemic did thatfor us. Perhaps the most damaging aspect of the quarantineis the lack of access to quality relationships that refreshus. You can’t spend time with friends or family. If you’resingle, you can’t date. If you’re a student, you can’t see yourclassmates. If you’re a sports fan, you can’t enjoy a game. Ifyou’re a grandparent, you can’t play with your grandkids.And if you’re feeling lonely and just want a hug from afriend, chances are you can’t have that either.Unfortunately, the more you lose contact with theactivities and relationships that reinvigorate you, the moredespairing you feel. Is it any wonder that you’re feelingbeaten down?When you’re in motion, moving from place to place,your focus is outside of yourself. Frequently, you don’t havetime to spend with your thoughts and feelings; you’re justtoo busy checking off your to-do list. But does a busy lifenecessarily mean a happy one?For many, the quarantine has forced us to slow down, hitthe pause button, and reflect on our choices. In this way,quarantine naturally pushes us toward greater mindfulness.Resilience comes from winning the battle with yourinner critic. It begins with quieting those negative voicesand making room for more positive ones. To do that, you’llneed a strategy.Start where you are. Rather than focusing on what youcan’t do, focus on what you can. Take up a new hobby,challenge yourself to be more creative, tend to those tasksthat you’re avoiding. Stop worrying about things you can’tcontrol, and be proactive about what you can.Foster gratitude. Gratitude is a force that can unleashtremendous trapped energy. It can lighten your load andrefresh your outlook. Gratitude journals are an excellenttool for inspiring more gratefulness in your life. Ifjournaling isn’t for you, try writing a letter to someone youappreciate. Tell them how much they mean to you; not onlywill you make your day, you’ll make theirs too.Count your blessings. With so much bad news comingat you, take time to recognize all the good things in yourlife. Negativity is like gravity; it pushes you down. Countingyour blessings lifts you and reminds you that it’s stillpossible to find simple ways to enjoy life.Praise yourself. During stressful times, find a way topraise yourself. Go ahead, admire, and celebrate yourself.After all, you’re hanging in there; you’re still here, you’restill striving. You’re like Rocky Balboa, still on your feet andfighting.Stop complaining. Complaining drains your energy,dampens your spirits, and has a corrosive effect on your stateof mind. It also promotes helplessness and telegraphs yourvictim status to the world. Breaking the complaining habitwon’t be easy; it will require a force of will to redirect thoseimpulses. But you’ll start to feel better once you muster thecourage to say, “The complaint department is closed!”About The AuthorSEAN GROVER, LCSWSean Grover, L.C.S.W., is a psychotherapist and theauthor of When Kids Call the Shots: How to Seize Control fromYour Darling Bully and Enjoy Being a Parent Again.To Learn More Visit:www.SeanGrover.com
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