24 Seven August 2020

M
Many of my patients have
experienced a resurgence of anxiety and depression since
the lockdown began. Critical inner voices muted for years
have returned with a vengeance. Those nasty, annoying
voices that are quick to promote our failings, criticize
our appearance, and poke holes in our confidence. Even
a simple glance in the mirror can trigger an avalanche of
disapproval.
Your inner critic’s goal? To turn you into a miserable,
complaining curmudgeon. Let’s examine why your inner
critic seems to thrive in quarantine.
Most of us didn’t choose to isolate. The pandemic did that
for us. Perhaps the most damaging aspect of the quarantine
is the lack of access to quality relationships that refresh
us. You can’t spend time with friends or family. If you’re
single, you can’t date. If you’re a student, you can’t see your
classmates. If you’re a sports fan, you can’t enjoy a game. If
you’re a grandparent, you can’t play with your grandkids.
And if you’re feeling lonely and just want a hug from a
friend, chances are you can’t have that either.
Unfortunately, the more you lose contact with the
activities and relationships that reinvigorate you, the more
despairing you feel. Is it any wonder that you’re feeling
beaten down?
When you’re in motion, moving from place to place,
your focus is outside of yourself. Frequently, you don’t have
time to spend with your thoughts and feelings; you’re just
too busy checking off your to-do list. But does a busy life
necessarily mean a happy one?
For many, the quarantine has forced us to slow down, hit
the pause button, and reflect on our choices. In this way,
quarantine naturally pushes us toward greater mindfulness.
Resilience comes from winning the battle with your
inner critic. It begins with quieting those negative voices
and making room for more positive ones. To do that, you’ll
need a strategy.
Start where you are. Rather than focusing on what you
can’t do, focus on what you can. Take up a new hobby,
challenge yourself to be more creative, tend to those tasks
that you’re avoiding. Stop worrying about things you can’t
control, and be proactive about what you can.
Foster gratitude. Gratitude is a force that can unleash
tremendous trapped energy. It can lighten your load and
refresh your outlook. Gratitude journals are an excellent
tool for inspiring more gratefulness in your life. If
journaling isn’t for you, try writing a letter to someone you
appreciate. Tell them how much they mean to you; not only
will you make your day, you’ll make theirs too.
Count your blessings. With so much bad news coming
at you, take time to recognize all the good things in your
life. Negativity is like gravity; it pushes you down. Counting
your blessings lifts you and reminds you that it’s still
possible to find simple ways to enjoy life.
Praise yourself. During stressful times, find a way to
praise yourself. Go ahead, admire, and celebrate yourself.
After all, you’re hanging in there; you’re still here, you’re
still striving. You’re like Rocky Balboa, still on your feet and
fighting.
Stop complaining. Complaining drains your energy,
dampens your spirits, and has a corrosive effect on your state
of mind. It also promotes helplessness and telegraphs your
victim status to the world. Breaking the complaining habit
won’t be easy; it will require a force of will to redirect those
impulses. But you’ll start to feel better once you muster the
courage to say, “The complaint department is closed!”
About The Author
SEAN GROVER, LCSW
Sean Grover, L.C.S.W., is a psychotherapist and the
author of When Kids Call the Shots: How to Seize Control from
Your Darling Bully and Enjoy Being a Parent Again.
To Learn More Visit:
www.SeanGrover.com