NG5 SHERWOOD JUNE/JULY 2021

Fifteen Years
of Lunches
Tale
Fifteen years sharing an office (and lunch time) with
these girls – what can I say? What goes on (or gets
eaten) in the office stays in the office…or it did until
now.
Looking back at the last fifteen years a lot has
changed. Babies have been born, pets have come
(and gone), houses have been bought and sold, kids
have flown the nest and then come back (grrrrr) but
one thing has remained a constant. Our collective
obsession with food and, no coincidence, but also our
weight.
Lunchtime at NG mags HQ is always midday. It’s the
absolute earliest we can get away with, although Cat
has been known to crack at 11.45. Then it becomes
like feeding time at Twycross. Heads pop over desks
like meerkats to see what everyone else is eating. The
envy is palpable if you have a soggy, limp salad while
across the desk someone is tucking into a cheese and
ham toastie.
Over the years our customers and contributors have
treated us to burgers, pork pies, pizza, graze boxes,
samosas, Indian wraps, cream cakes, cup cakes,
strawberry cakes and the list goes on, but you get the
picture. Food is a big part of our day.
There was a point about eleven years ago when Cat
was on maternity leave and Sarah and I totally lost the
plot, creating huge lunches for each other every day.
Toasted bagels, half a sharing pack of crisps each,
salad, piles of couscous and hummus. At the time I
genuinely couldn’t understand how I had managed to
put a stone on in six months. It was all healthy stuff
– apart from the crisps – but we had absolutely no
portion control whatsoever.
We finally came to our senses when neither of us could
do our jeans up. But then, typical of us girls, we went
completely the other way and jumped feet first into the
5:2 diet. That was fun…not.
For those not familiar with this diet, you eat normally
5 days a week and on 2 days you limit your calorie
intake to 500. That’s 500. For the whole day. Just a
note about the definition of “normally”- for Gary (who
I persuaded to join in as well) this meant a full-on fry
up on “normal” days and a bottle of wine, although
not at the same time. All in the name of research, you
understand, to see if the diet would still work (it did).
The novelty of trying to find anything tasty and filling
with virtually no calories soon wore off. Even now, if I
dare to mention cauliflower rice to Gary, he breaks out
in a cold sweat and reaches for the takeaway menu.
Not content with starving ourselves, we had to prove it.
After watching a programme on the telly that showed
us how to check whether our bodies were burning fat,
we were straight on to Amazon ordering ketone sticks.
You had to wee on the stick (a messy business) and
wait to see what colour it went. That particular craze
lasted about a week. I still have a pack of these sticks
- a lasting reminder of how ridiculous we were!
The next fad was a detox and sugar free diet. Sarah
gave up after 35 minutes, complaining of a headache.
The rest of us limped on for another few days before
we all cracked, the sweet bag was ripped open and
another diet bit the dust.
The best idea we have ever had was our Wednesday
lunch club. No fat free nonsense. No sugar free. No
low calorie. Just homemade, healthy food.
Although I have to say, even now we can tell you the
calories in a double dipped chocolate toffee - and mild
panic rippled through the office yesterday when we
realised Sainsbury’s rice cakes had 10 more calories
that the Asda ones. Old habits die hard!!
© Ali Wale