GRAND Magazine Vol IIII Ed II

Vol. IV, Ed. II
GRAND
grandmag.ca
Move Well &
age Gracefully
Grandfathered
An excerpt
From
the Start
A birth
Q&a
Victor & Edith
newman
Master Carver
& Textile Artist

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2 Grand grandmag.ca

CONTENTS
4
6
10
12
14
7 Grand: Ideas + Inspiration
Profile: Victor & Edith Newman
On the importance of spending time
together, conversation, inclusion,
leading by example and the value
of community involvement.
From the Start: A Birth
Being there for the birth of a grandchild.
raCHEL dUnSTan MULLEr
Move Well & Age Gracefully
How practicing mindful movement when
you exercise improves your potential
for moving well as you age.
LESLIE HOPKInS
Pandemic Grandparent
Becoming a new grandmother in a
pandemic requires a few modifications.
aPrIL BUTLEr
16 Shutterbug
One grandmother’s obsession with
capturing life on film.
JaCQUI GraHaM
18
20
22
24
28
30
Fort Rodd Hill
Where history comes alive.
Grandfathered: Dispatches
from the Trenches of Modern
Grandparenthood
Being a grandfather doesn’t mean acting
like one in these boomer grandpa days.
Ian HaYSOM
Frosty Summer Treats
A delicious way to cool down!
EMILLIE ParrISH
The Best Places on Vancouver
Island to take Family Photos
4 top Island photographers weigh in their
favourite places for a family photo shoot.
Feelings First
Helping your grandchildren navigate BC’s
restart plan and new social situations.
The Value of Volunteering
Ways to make a difference.
Getting Together
& Spending Time
ask most people what they missed
most during the pandemic and
chances are they’ll tell you “each
other.”
Sure social media and virtual visits
helped us stay connected, but they’re
nothing compared to actually being
together—the physical proximity,
face-to-face conversations, holding
hands, telling stories and the hugs…
ooohhh the hugs!
Few of us will argue on the importance
of getting together and spending
time in each other’s company.
Not only is gathering together
enjoyable, but it also nurtures our
relationships and promotes a sense of
belonging and community. A simple
walk in the woods with friends or
family can leave us feeling inspired,
rejuvenated and connected.
In The Art of Gathering: How We
Meet and Why It Matters, author Priya
Parker has said that at the core of any
gathering there should be a sense of
purpose for coming together.
With grandkids, that’s easy: being
together is purpose enough!
And on an island so rich with possible
outings and adventures, there’s
never any shortage of things to do.
To that end, this issue of GRAND
features articles on topics ranging
from the best places on Vancouver
Island to take family photos, moving
well and aging gracefully, and cooling
down with frosty treats, to being at
your grandchild’s birth, the value of
volunteering, and dispatches from the
trenches of new grandparenthood.
There’s 7 Grand, a compilation of
ideas and inspiration to help keep you
in-the-know and connected to community,
there’s an article on becoming
a grandparent during the pandemic,
and there’s a profile on master carver
Victor Newman and textile artist
Edith Newman about the importance
of family, conversation, leading by
example and the value of community
involvement.
We hope this issue of GRAND inspires
you to gather with those you
love, to revel in each other’s company
and to appreciate every moment we
have together.
ON THE COVER
Victor & Edith
newman
Vol. IV, Ed. II
GRAND
grandmag.ca
From
the Start
A birth
Move Well &
Age Gracefully
Grandfathered
An excerpt
Jim Schneider Publisher
publisher@islandparent.ca
Sue Fast Editor
editor@islandparent.ca
Kristine Wickheim Account Manager
kristine@islandparent.ca
raeLeigh Buchanan Account Manager
raeleigh@islandparent.ca
250-388-6905 grandmag.ca
Photo by
don denton
Q&A
Victor & Edith
Newman
Master Carver
& Textile Artist
Grand, published by Island Parent Group Enterprises Ltd., is a quarterly
publication that honours and supports grandparents by providing information
on resources and businesses for families and a forum for the
exchange of ideas and opinions. Views expressed are not necessarily
those of the publisher. No material herein may be reproduced without the
permission of the publisher. Grand is distributed free in selected areas.
ISSn 0838-5505 518 Caselton Place, Victoria, BC V8Z 7Y5
A proud member of
BC
grandmag.ca
Vol. IV, Ed. II 3

Ideas + Inspiration
7Grand
Hugs for Kids
Club
The Children’s Health Foundation
of Vancouver Island’s
Hugs for Kids Club supports
health programs that help
children and families in our
community to thrive, regardless
of their medical concerns.
Your automatic monthly gift is
the easiest and most efficient
way to make a significant
contribution that will improve
the lives of countless children
and families. Monthly gifts also
reduce the costs of processing
donations, so more of
your donation is going directly
to Island kids and families.
Start, change or stop your gift
anytime. Visit islandkidsfirst.
com/monthly-giving.
Stigma-Free
Zone
Stigma is a mark of disgrace
associated with a particular
circumstance, quality, or person
that sets a person apart
from the norms of society.
The Stigma-Free Tool is a
simple and engaging way to
assess your attitudes around
stigma and to see where you
can improve your actions and
thoughts around the topic of
stigma. This isn’t a judgement,
but simply a way for you to
look inside yourself and see if
you are living stigma-free. You
will receive a percentage at
the end of the activity along
with more ways to examine
your perceptions and suggestions
on how to take action.
stigmafreesociety.com
Every Child
Matters
To honour the 215 Indigenous
children found by the
Tk’emlups te Secwepemc First
Nation at a former residential
school in Kamloops, Indigenous
artist Carey Newman
has designed the heart and
hands orange shirt and is also
offering the feather design,
from previous years. Child and
adult sizes; $15 for kids’ shirts,
$25 for adults. All proceeds go
to the Witness Blanket Legacy
Fund (witnessblanket.ca) and
the Orange Shirt Day Society.
(orangeshirtday.org). To order,
email 215orangeshirts@gmail.
com.
4 Grand grandmag.ca

Summer
Literacy
Slow Down
Kids Playing
From Sea to
Sea to Sea
Marine
Scavenger Hunt
Summer Literacy on the Peninsula
is series of four free
outdoor events throughout the
summer. All events will adhere
to the current PHO guidelines.
The line-up includes:
Words in the Wind (July 6–13),
Story Stones (July 19–26), Head
Outside and READ Together
(August 5) and StoryWalk with
Horses (August 26).
southislandliteracy.com
With the school year ending
and travel restrictions starting
to ease, a new BCAA survey
reveals that many British
Columbians are worried that
increased traffic and more
kids playing outside could be a
recipe for disaster. To remind
drivers of the risk and encourage
safer driving in residential
areas, BCAA is again offering
its free Slow Down Kids Playing
reflective lawn signs. To
get your sign, email your nearest
Block Watch Coordinator
(blockwatch.com) or drop
into a BCAA Service Centre
in Nanaimo or Victoria. To
learn more, visit bcaa.com/
community.
The 2021 Edition of From Sea
to Sea to Sea: Celebrating Indigenous
Picture Books celebrates
a collection of 25 of the
best Indigenous picture books
published in Canada between
2018 and 2020. Care was taken
to ensure that this collection
reflected the diversity of First
Nations, Métis and Inuit voices
from sea to sea to sea, and
that the titles are available
and in print for anyone who
wishes to access them. To
download the catalogue,
visit ibby-canada.org.
Join Mount Arrowsmith Biosphere
Region’s (MABR) marine
scavenger hunt and on your
next trip to the beach, use
their clues to help find each
critter. Discover something
that’s not on the list? Draw it
at the end to identify it later.
To download the Marine Scavenger
Hunt list, visit mabr.ca/
at-home-activities.
grandmag.ca
Vol. IV, Ed. II 5

Profile
Victor & Edith Newman
Master carver Victor Newman and his wife, textile artist and clothing
designer, Edith Newman, have raised three children, Marion, Carey
and Ellen. Victor’s great grandfather is legendary Kwakwaka’wakw
artist Charlie James and his aunt is carver Ellen Neel so it is no surprise that
Victor and Edith’s son, Carey Newman, has become a multi-disciplinary Indigenous
artist and master carver who created “The Witness Blanket,” made
with over 800 items collected from residential school survivors and the former
residential school buildings. It was Victor, a residential school survivor,
who inspired Carey to create the powerful monument, one that involved the
entire Newman family. Now grandparents, Victor and Edith reflect on the
importance of spending time together, conversation, inclusion, leading by
example and the value of community involvement.
Q. What are your traditional
names? What do they mean?
Victor: Hemosaka, which means the
making of a chief.
Edith: Yakudlas’amega, which
means she who gives everything.
Q. How many children do you
have? What are their names?
Three. Marion, Carey and Ellen.
Their traditional names are Nege’ga
(she is a mountain of wealth), Hayalthkingeme
(the face of a chief) and
Kugwi’sila’ogwa (chief ’s seat, where
you place your wealth).
Q. How many grandchildren do
you have? What are their names
and ages? Where do they live?
We have one granddaughter. Adelyn
is 10 and she lives in Victoria.
Q. What do you love most about
being a grandparent? Least?
Victor: I had to wait a while for it
to happen. For a while I was the oldest
new grandfather I knew. It was
amazing when I finally got to hold my
grandchild after she was born.
Edith: I love interacting with Adelyn,
watching her play with her new
puppy, sewing, reading, making doll
clothes, everything. She has a very
broad vocabulary and chatting with
her is an education.
I grew up in a family with both
parents and four siblings in a
neighbourhood where I was within
walking distance of my maternal
grandparents and three families of
aunts, uncles and cousins. We were
in each other’s homes almost daily. I
wish that we lived much closer. So to
answer the second part of this question,
the physical distance between us
is what I love the least.
6 Grand grandmag.ca

Q. How is being a grandparent
different than being a parent?
Victor: We don’t have the responsibility
of taking care of her the way we
did with our own kids.
Edith: Being a grandmother is much
more relaxing than being a mom.
Q. What was important to you as
a parent when you were raising
your own children?
Victor: That my kids were happy.
That they were happy with their own
accomplishments. That they treated
people with respect.
Edith: Raising my children was
the most important job I have ever
done. I chose to homeschool them so
that every opportunity within my
capabilities could be offered to them.
I didn’t want them to experience racism
which I, as a teacher, had seen in
schools. I wanted them to learn in a
traditional way as in learning through
observation and inclusion. I wanted
their learning to be as natural as
learning to walk and talk. They indicated
when they, in their own minds,
needed to know something.
Q. What is most important to you
as a grandparent?
Victor: That my grand-daughter
grows up to be a loving person.
Edith: It is important to me that
Adelyn be happy within herself; confident,
self-assured, able to laugh at
herself, generous, kind, mischievous,
respectful, well-rounded.
Q. What part did your grandfathers
play in your life? What did
you learn from them?
Victor: I never had the chance to
meet my grandfathers. They passed
before I was born. I don’t know when.
I heard about them from my family
a little bit and I got to read about my
great-grandpa Charlie James in books.
He was a carver and knowing that
made me want to learn to carve too.
Q. What part did your grandmothers
play in your life? What
did you learn from them?
Edith: My maternal grandparents
lived close by. I stopped in there almost
every day to visit and help out
with simple chores. I learned from
them to be respectful of others and to
be giving.
Q. What do you hope your grandchildren
learn from you?
Victor: I don’t get to talk to her very
much. She is her own person. She
likes to play nearby but doesn’t really
play with me. I tell her I love her and
that’s important. I know that she really
likes it that our house is right at
the beach. I don’t know what she is
learning from me.
Edith: I don’t think I have any expectations
for my granddaughter to learn
from me. She will learn what is important
for her at any given time. My job
is to be as good a role model as I can.
Q. How have you passed along
traditions and skills, in particular,
carving? Music? Stories?
Family history?
Victor: We homeschooled our kids.
Having them home all the time meant
they were able to learn by watching.
This is important in Indigenous
ways of learning. She used to come to
drumming nights sometimes and she
was really good at the dancing. Covid
happened so we haven’t been able to
do that for a while now.
Edith: Our children learned basic
skills such as sewing, cooking, cleaning,
shopping for food. I encouraged
them to be self-reliant and to know
that their education would never be
over. My job was to provide a home
where there were always piles of
library books; the radio tuned in
to music or interesting talk shows;
sports equipment, participation in
sports teams; visitors from all over
who brought a wide variety of ideas,
grandmag.ca
Vol. IV, Ed. II 7

enhancing stimulating conversations.
Our children were encouraged
to participate fully in all conversation.
There were opportunities to
travel both as a family and with youth
groups; they were involved in the
community through volunteer work.
Kwakwala language, attendance and
participation in feasts and potlatches,
learning traditional ways of preserving
and preparing foods, drumming
and dance classes were a part of everyday
life. The list is endless.
Q. Carey has said: “My parents
gave me a social conscience...”
How?
Victor: By being the way we are.
Indigenous people are always having
to raise awareness in others. We are
always having to teach people about
who we are because Hollywood got it
wrong. We have always talked about
stuff with our kids so they know why
people are the way they are. Carey
learned from that.
Edith: We participated in walk-athons,
fund raising concerts, peaceful
demonstrations to bring social issues
to the fore. We encouraged our children
to speak up for those who may
not be able to speak up for themselves.
Q. Carey has said: “I’m careful to
adhere to traditional rules and
values. Finding ways to innovate
without disregarding history is
important to me.” How did you
teach your children—and how do
you teach your grandchildren—to
respect traditional rules and values
and to regard history?
Victor: Carey was talking about the
rules of traditional artwork when he
said that. I am a very good teacher of
art. I did that job for a long time. And
my son has always been a talented artist.
Q. How did you help your children—and
how do you help your
granddaughter—find their talents
and strengths? To explore
their creativity?
Edith: Music was important in our
lives. We had a piano and as soon as
our children showed an interest, we
enrolled them in lessons. The same
was true for art as in designing and
sewing clothing. Art supplies were
available. I see similar opportunities
being provided for Adelyn by her parents.
8 Grand grandmag.ca

Q. As a survivor of residential
schools, what do you feel when
you see Carey telling the stories
about what happened there,
through works like the Witness
Blanket?
Victor: I am proud that he is trying
to tell people what happened in the
residential schools. And that he is
making people understand why we
can’t just get over it.
Q. You and Carey share a special
and close relationship. How have
you arrived at the place you are
in now, with such strong ties to
each other and a good solid relationship?
Victor: We were not always close.
My wife encouraged us to get counselling
together. I learned then that I was
treating him the way I was treated in
residential school by nuns and priests
because that’s where I learned and
grew up. We learned how to be good to
each other then. I am proud of him.
A legacy of
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felt for
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to come…
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Q. What do you wish for your
grandchildren?
Victor: I wish that she will be kind,
happy, generous and productive.
Edith: I wish for my granddaughter
to be happy, have a good sense of humour,
to be kind and generous.
Q. Do you have any wise words
or stories to share with other
grandparents to help them in
their role raising their grandchildren?
Victor: No, I don’t! They should do it
their own way. What they need to do
to be close to their grandchildren. It
is fun to watch some of the grandparents
with their grandchildren when
they get to be close. They just light
right up.
Edith: Advice to other grandparents.
“Take every opportunity to spend time
with your grandchildren. They grow
up so quickly.”
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grandmag.ca
Vol. IV, Ed. II 9

Grandparenting
From the Start: A Birth
The call comes at 7 a.m. on a February
morning, when my daughter
Naomi knows that I’ll be up and
getting ready for the day. She’s been
in labour since the middle of the night
and wants to know if I’d like to come
over and keep her and her husband
Matthew company.
Of course I would! I’m self-employed
and my schedule is flexible, so
there’s no one to ask permission. I finish
getting breakfast on the table for
Naomi’s two much-younger siblings,
then head over.
I don’t even have to drive to be at my
daughter’s side. She and her husband
live in a suite on the neighbouring
property; I let myself through her
door less than a minute after leaving
my own.
“It’s happening,” my daughter
says, catching her breath between
contractions. She’s smiling and looking
impressively calm for a first-time
mother, her face glowing with sweat
and anticipation.
The midwife arrives shortly after I
do, and I try to be unobtrusive as she
makes her assessment. Naomi is far
enough along that she’s ready to be admitted
to the hospital—but the perinatal
unit’s rooms are full, and she’s
asked to continue her labour at home.
And so, we hunker down: Naomi, her
midwife, Matthew, and me.
Between contractions, the atmosphere
is cheerful. Everything is proceeding
as it should, and the four of
us are enjoying the shared experience
of this unfolding miracle. I watch my
daughter with admiration. Can it be
26 years already since her own birth?
She is a twin, born by caesarian at 35
weeks. At an impossibly tiny 3½ lbs,
Naomi was almost 2 lbs lighter than
her sister—and yet from the very
beginning she was tough. She has
remained the most petite of my three
adult children, and yet she has always
gravitated towards physical labour. I
am grateful for her strength now, as I
watch her bend into each contraction.
I am grateful for Matthew as well,
his unwavering focus as he leans in
beside his wife. They were friends
long before their interest turned
romantic. I knew him as a loud and
impetuous adolescent; now he’s a man
who knows when to be strong and
when to be gentle. He is exactly the
birthing partner Naomi needs.
Suddenly the contractions accelerate.
If Naomi doesn’t want to deliver
at home—and she doesn’t—it’s time
to get to the hospital. NOW. We drive
the 20+ minute distance in separate
10 Grand grandmag.ca

vehicles, and I panic when I can’t
find a parking place. Please, I beg, as
I circle and re-circle the lot. A space
comes open and I seize it. Somehow in
my less-than-focused state I manage
to figure out the parking kiosk, then
sprint to the maternity ward.
My sense of urgency is well-founded;
Naomi is in active labour when I
get to her room. Things are moving
more quickly than even her midwife
anticipated, and it’s only a few minutes
before she’s on the bed, pushing.
She tells me later that she knew I had
arrived only because she saw my boots
on the floor. Her world has shrunk to
the point that she can’t hear my voice
or take in the rest of me.
And then, less than 20 minutes after
her arrival at the hospital, Naomi’s
baby is crowning. I hold my breath as
a head emerges, then the unfolding
body of a little girl. There’s a flurry of
activity at the foot of the bed, but my
tiny granddaughter remains purple
and still. My prayer in the parking
It’s been three years since Rhea was born, and as I write this my daughter and
son-in-law are preparing to welcome their second child in a matter of weeks. If
all goes as planned it will be a homebirth this time, and I will be at my daughter’s
side again. I’ll have to travel a little farther to get there, however; Naomi
and Matt have become homeowners in the intervening years and have moved to
a new neighbourhood. But we’re still in the same community, and for that I am
immensely grateful.
For Rhea
2 am is the time you choose
to begin your birth
to end nine months of
hoping, praying
retching, craving
sleeping, dreaming
waking, waiting –
for your mother.
Your mother, who I held in the crook
of my arm
not so long ago
my smallest child
my toughest child
now woman-grown
bent over, breathing.
lot was nothing compared to the plea
I send to Heaven now. I have no idea
how long we wait, but I swear the
whole world is holding its breath with
me. Until—finally—little Rhea wriggles
and cries. I cry, too.
Rachel Dunstan Muller is a children’s
author, storyteller, podcaster and grandmother.
You can find her two podcasts
Hintertales: Stories from the Margins
of History and Sticks and Stones and
Stories through her website at racheldunstanmuller.com,
or wherever you
normally get your podcasts.
Your father stands, gentle-eyed
hands on her back.
The midwife works with quiet
efficiency
while I watch, grateful witness.
You arrive, purple and still.
Time catches, until
your cry
a small cry, but enough
to reset the world spinning.
Snow falls outside the window
Winter’s benediction
but you, tiny child, are Spring.
Healthy Families, Happy Families
Child, Youth
& Family
Public Health
South Island Health Units
Esquimalt 250-519-5311
Gulf Islands 250-539-3099
(toll-free number for office in Saanichton)
Peninsula 250-544-2400
Saanich 250-519-5100
Saltspring Island 250-538-4880
Sooke 250-519-3487
Victoria 250-388-2200
West Shore 250-519-3490
Central Island Health Units
Duncan 250-709-3050
Ladysmith 250-755-3342
Lake Cowichan 250-749-6878
Nanaimo 250-755-3342
Nanaimo 250-739-5845
Princess Royal
Parksville/Qualicum 250-947-8242
Port Alberni 250-731-1315
Tofino 250-725-4020
North Island Health Units
Campbell River 250-850-2110
Courtenay 250-331-8520
Kyuquot Health Ctr 250-332-5289
‘Namgis Health Ctr 250-974-5522
Port Hardy 250-902-6071
islandhealth.ca/our-locations/
health-unit-locations
Changes with BC Medical Services Plan
premiums mean that families eligible for partial
payment of some medical services and access
to some income-based programs now must
apply for Supplementary Benefits through the
Government of BC. Applications can be done
online and take approximately 15 minutes.
Families who previously qualified for MSP
Premium Assistance should not need to re-apply
if taxes are completed yearly. It is advised to
confirm coverage before proceeding with
treatment to avoid paying out of pocket.
For more information, visit gov.bc.ca/gov/
content/health/health-drug-coverage/msp/
bc-residents/benefits/services-covered-bymsp/supplementary-benefits
grandmag.ca
Vol. IV, Ed. II 11

Health &
Wellness
Move Well & Age Gracefully
Exercise keeps us physically fit so
that we can go about our daily
life with more ease. Its effects go
way beyond the surface; they extend to
other areas of the body as well.
Exercise helps to:
• Build a stronger immune system.
Aerobic/endurance exercises such as
brisk walking and dancing improve the
health of your heart, lungs, and circulatory
system, helping your body to
overcome infections and viruses more
easily plus lessen recovery time from
illness and injury.
• Create stronger bones for better
balance. Strength training exercises
like lifting weights and using resistance
bands can increase muscle
strength to help combat the loss of
bone density. Balance training helps
to activate deep stabilizing muscles
so that they become more resilient to
stress and are able to absorb weight
and impact better.
• Reduce the risk of degenerative
diseases such as dementia, Alzheimers
and Parkinson’s. Exercise keeps the
mind’s cognitive functions active and
strengthens motor skills.
The idea of working out can feel
overwhelming, but don’t sweat—yet!—
every little bit helps:
• Physical activity can be social time.
Get your family or friends to be active
with you and when available look for
group activities or classes in your community.
• Start slowly and listen to your
body. Don’t push yourself to the point
of pain or unnecessary strain. Learn to
work with your body and find an activity
you like.
• Minutes count. Plan to increase
your level of activity 10 minutes at a
time: walk wherever and whenever
you can, carry your groceries home or
take the stairs instead of the elevator
Practice mindful movement when
you exercise to improve your potential
for moving well as you age. Consider
The Squat, a simple exercise that most
of us know and in fact practice every
day when we move from sit to stand
or stand to sit. A squat builds strength
in the hips and legs, which propel us
through our day and also work to get
us up and down off the toilet. You can
incorporate mindful movement principles
by:
1. Using proper technique. Sounds
12 Grand grandmag.ca

oring but proper technique allows
you to perform an exercise without
causing pain or strain. While a certified
trainer can help, you can also watch
yourself in the mirror. For example,
when performing a squat, as you bend
your knees watch that you sit the hips
back, like you’re taking a seat back on
the toilet, and watch that your toes and
knees point in the same direction.
2. Activating your core muscles, a
group of four muscles that include the
diaphragm, deep abdominal, deep spinal
and pelvic floor. Try using the Core
Breath, a specific way of breathing that
incorporates your core muscles. When
performing the squat, breathe in as you
bend your knees, sit back and envision
the two sitting bones spreading, allow
the ribs to expand and breathe out
as you stand up envision the 2 sitting
bones and deep abdominals gathering.
3. Include a balance challenge. Try
standing on one leg and avoid breath
holding. Many people find that focussing
on a point in the near distance will
help but once you master this move
then try to balance and allow your eye
gaze to expand into the periphery.
When performing a squat you can
practice lifting one leg up as you stand
up or try placing one foot (or both) on
something unstable like a mini-exercise
ball or balance trainer.
Physical activity plays an important
role in maintaining your health,
well-being and quality of life. If you
are unsure about types and amount of
physical activity consult a health professional
to find out what’s appropriate
for you.
Leslie Hopkins is a Certified
Core Exercise Specialist
with a unique perspective
into the field of women’s
pelvic health. She is a
movement educator,
speaker and creator of
online programs including
Laugh Without Leaking.
flexibility
for
different
learning
styles
optional
hands-on
learning
activities
support
from a
certified
teacher
gentle and
constructive
feedback
grandmag.ca
Vol. IV, Ed. II 13

Grandparenting
Pandemic Grandparent
If you asked me to rate my Pandemic
Year, I’d give it about 6 out of 10 on
the suck-o-meter. Over the year, I
watched my career go down quicker
than a toddler’s toy in the toilet. And I
discovered new soul-sucking anxiety
that sabotaged any get-up-and-go that
might’ve rescued said career.
I didn’t take up any hobbies—unless
you consider carb loading and emptying
wine bottles a hobby—so I jealously
watched as Facebook “friends” baked
bread, learned knitting, and discovered
gardening. I didn’t even clean out my
closets.
My big accomplishment: becoming a
grandmother.
I know it doesn’t take much effort
on my end, but I’ll take all the compliments
and congratulations I can get. My
granddaughter is really darn cute and I
feel my genes had something to do with
that.
Obviously, becoming a new grandmother
in a pandemic requires a few
modifications from normal grandparenting.
When my granddaughter was born
in September 2020, I had to forgo my
hope of attending her birth as there was
a limit to the number of people who
could be there. My daughter and her
husband chose a home birth, which is
scary enough for a grandmother-to-be,
but add to that my extreme anxiety,
and, well, let’s say I was smart enough
to keep my mouth shut. My mother attended
my first birth and literally had
a panic attack, so, in hindsight, I probably
was the most helpful as a distanced
cheering squad.
The next few months, my visits with
my granddaughter and daughter were
through a window. Being a new mom
is hard, but I can’t imagine how hard it
would be through a pandemic. No family
help, no friends, isolation and no
baby showers. They did have an online
baby group—with all mics on for the
sing-alongs!
The new mama was tired. I hated that
I couldn’t do the grandma thing where
you bring over a casserole and hold the
baby while mama has a shower. Not being
able to help my daughter was what
stung the most.
My daughter wanted to be a mom
since age 10, is a trained doula, and is
regarded as a “baby whisperer.” I look
back at the anxious new mom I was—
my first time holding a baby was my
first born and maternity leave was three
months—and I am blown away that
birth and infants can be such a different
experience than mine was almost 30
years ago.
14 Grand grandmag.ca

One thing I’ve learned from becoming
a grandparent during the pandemic is
that my ideas about parenting a newborn
are outdated. My daughter has this
dialed in, and the best thing I can do is
be open and willing to learn all about
the new techniques.
Technology and social media became
very important in our family connection.
Without being able to visit in
person, my daughter made a huge effort
to connect daily. I’m grateful for all the
Facetime visits, Instagram messages and
regular video chats a bunch of times
each day so we could virtually hang
out. As my granddaughter gets older, I
am able to interact and sing songs (she
thinks I’m an awesome singer!).
So there’s a silver lining: If I was still
grinding away at my career, I wouldn’t
have had the time to connect virtually.
The pandemic gave me perspective that
my career isn’t as important as being a
mom, a grandmother and a friend.
I always thought that by the time I
reached this age, I’d be totally put together.
Being a grandma in a pandemic
forced me to understand that I’m still
very much a work in progress.
I also need to figure out how much
purple a grandmother should wear and
how much is too much. It is a line I’ll
probably cross several times in the near
future.
And yes, I was recently able to hold
my granddaughter without a mask. It
took eight months and was the most
magical day.
April Butler is the mother of three (one
teenager and two grown) children and the
new grandmother of one. She was working
as a documentary filmmaker and if her
career doesn’t reboot after the Pandemic,
she will just spend more time sailing.
grandmag.ca
June
Age 5, Cerebral Palsy
Loves kindergarten, art, and swimming
As a happy five-year-old,
June’s complex health
challenges don’t hold
her back from doing the
things she loves. And
when her family needs to
travel from their home in
Denman Island to Victoria
for June’s medical
treatments, Children’s
Health Foundation of
Vancouver Island’s home
away from home,
Jeneece Place, is there.
Children’s Health Foundation of Vancouver Island has invested
in the health of Island kids for 95 years. We touch the lives of
more than 16,000 Island kids and youth each year through our
homes away from home in Victoria (Jeneece Place) and
Campbell River (Q̓ ʷalayu House); our Bear Essentials program,
which provides direct funding to families who need financial
support to meet the immediate care needs of their child; and
by investing in essential community-based services,
interventions, therapies, and resources that optimize the health
of our children and youth.
Island kids, like June, need you.
Donate now at islandkidsfirst.com
Vol. IV, Ed. II 15

Media &
Technology
Shutterbug
Jacqui Graham has six grown kids and
eight delightful grandkids age 4 to 15
years. If she had known how much fun
grandkids would be, she would have
had them first!
On a recent sunny June afternoon
I accompanied my daughter
and her family to a local swimming
hole on the Puntledge River.
The weather had attracted quite a few
families to the beach. Relaxing in a
folding chair beside my 15-year-old
granddaughter, amicably passing a
potato chip bag back and forth as we
watched children and their parents
splashing in the river, I could not
shake the feeling that something was
missing.
Then I remembered.
“It’s the strangest thing,” I said to
my granddaughter. “I seem to have left
my cell phone at home.”
“Good,” she said. “Now you can’t
take any pictures. You’ll just have to
sit here and enjoy life.”
My grandkids are resigned to their
shutterbug grandma. Visits to my
home are punctuated by the command
to look up and smile. Whenever we
head out on a walk, my trusty iPhone
XS nestles in the back pocket of my
jeans, ready to be whipped out the moment
the grandkids do anything cute,
or interesting, or annoying. Walks
may be interrupted at any moment
by the cry of the matriarch: “You kids
keep walking, I’ll catch up with you!
I just have to take a picture of the
river…. this wildflower… an interesting
bug… that perfect cloud… a rock
shaped exactly like a heart…” Recently
the grandkids decided to hold an
intervention. I am now restricted to
three photos per walk.
I blame my mother for my obsession
with capturing life on film. On
my ninth birthday she presented me
with her beloved Brownie box camera.
It was—literally—a box with a lens on
the front and a postage-stamp-sized
viewfinder on the top. The shutter
was a tiny lever that stuck out from
the lower right side of the box. You
braced the box against your chest,
peered down into the minuscule viewfinder,
and ordered your subject to
hold verrry still. The challenge was
to depress the shutter without tilting
the camera. I found this nearly impossible
to accomplish, with the result
that my photos were always slightly
askew. Undaunted, I took pictures of
anything that would hold still long
enough, restricted only by the number
of rolls of film my tiny allowance
would afford. I was hooked. A shutterbug
was born.
In my teen years I acquired a slightly
more sophisticated camera and
branched out into artsy shots of chain
link fences, water droplets on leaves,
deliberately unfocused photos of
friends, and the occasional unplanned
closeup of my exuberant poodle’s
nose.
As the years flew by, my repertoire
expanded to include a husband.
Various dogs. Scenery, at home and
abroad. And then, in November 1979,
an event occurred that ushered me
into a new photographic era: the birth
of our first child.
As wee Sarah grew from wrinkled
newborn to chubby-cheeked toddler,
every infinitesimal milestone was obsessively
chronicled: first smile, first
tooth, first step, first birthday, first
Christmas, first taste of applesauce.
And random cuteness. (Soooo much
random cuteness!) Sarah “reading”
a book. Sarah cuddling her favourite
doll. Sarah playing with the dogs. Sarah
in the bathtub/in her snowsuit/on
a playground swing. Our bookshelves
began to fill up with photo albums.
16 Grand grandmag.ca

As our family expanded to include
five additional children, the bookshelves
groaned under the weight of
more and more albums. Birthdays.
School events. Camping trips. Sunday
school pageants. Christmas mornings.
Sports. Easter egg hunts. Vacations at
home and abroad. Random cuteness.
(Soooo much random cuteness.)
There are 25 photo albums. The last
one is dated 2005. Digital photography
had, and subsequent photos were
entombed in the memory chips of our
digital devices, displayed, perhaps, on
computer screensaver slideshows, or
shared on social media, or called up
on one’s cell phone to impress strangers
in cash register lineups (“Oh, that
photo of your niece’s baby is adorable!
Now, let me show you the cutest picture
of my youngest grandchild in a
kitty costume… wait…I know it’s here
somewhere…”)
The advent of digital photography
has also freed us from the constraints of
film. No longer do we need to ration our
picture-taking! As I write this, I blush
to admit that there are 31,029 photos
and 2,001 videos on my iPhone XS.
I recently had occasion to hunt
through the old albums, while tracking
down a photo of an adult son’s
seventh birthday party to share in our
family’s Signal group. When I located
the photos of the event, I was struck
by the fact that there were only three
of them. Not eight, or 12, or 27. Just
three. At such an event nowadays I
would take at least a dozen photos and
a handful of videos as well.
It makes me wonder: what is this
compulsion to capture every moment
of our children’s and grandchildren’s
lives? When we look back on
that birthday party years from now,
will twenty-seven photos of a child
blowing out candles really serve our
memory better than three? And in the
process of taking those twenty-seven
photos, are we actually missing the
very moment we are trying so desperately
to capture?
I would love to continue pondering
this philosophical question with you,
but I must run. My cat is doing the
cutest thing. Now, where did I put that
cell phone?
FAMILY CAREGIVERS OF BC
w w w . f a m i l y c a r e g i v e r s b c . c a
Are you a family caregiver living in
Greater Victoria? Join our community for
our FREE monthly Victoria Virtual
Caregiver Support Group, which brings
people together around a mutual
experience of caregiving for a family
member or friend. The support group is a
time for connection and reassurance. You
are not alone.
Sign up for our next meeting at
www.familycaregiversbc.ca/family-caregiver-support-groups/
grandmag.ca
Vol. IV, Ed. II 17

Road Trip
Yesterday’s Stories
Shaping Tomorrow’s Future
Children look up to their grandparents
as guiding figures and
the keepers of stories. A trip to
Fort Rodd Hill and Fisgard Lighthouse
National Historic Sites is the perfect
setting to combine sharing special moments
and awakening even the youngest
of inquisitive minds.
Beyond every door and down every
path, exhibits reveal stories of changing
times. See how young female nurses
and factory workers contributed to
the war effort during WWII, and the
special skills they needed to transmit
top-secret encoded messages. Learn
about the evolution of engineering
and technology, and how strategically
placed disappearing guns and
functioning lighthouses worked. As
you explore, conversations with Parks
Canada staff add depth to every story.
Let young imaginations run wild:
• Are they fond of nature and little
creatures? Surrounded by the natural
beauty of Canada’s west coast, the
Garry Oak ecosystem thrives here in
the Learning Meadow, where getting
up close with native plants and pollinators
prompts important discussions
about conservation.
• Are they eager to hear secrets?
The site’s self-guided audio tour
brings to life stories told by a seasoned
soldier, a young Victorian woman,
a few residents of the fort and the
lighthouse, and even an American spy.
The voices of these storytellers may
inspire future actions or career aspirations.
• Are they studious and want to
record findings? The Xplorers booklet
was created especially for these inquisitive
minds. With a pencil in hand,
they will draw, search for answers
and collect facts. They may choose to
save this completed book for their collection
of Xplorers booklets acquired
while visiting other Parks Canada
places.
• Are they fascinated with dress-up
and role-play? During summer programs,
Parks Canada interpreters may
recruit them to help with lighthouse
chores or show them the 1800s latest
fashion and games. They might develop
a new appreciation for current
commodities or decide to set new “oldfashioned”
trends.
• Are they excited about sleepovers?
The oTENTiks offer a unique blend of
homey comfort with a taste of outdoor
adventure. Staying overnight in a real
fort and enjoying the freedom to wander,
once all the regular visitors have
gone home, is truly a special treat: a
memory they might even pass along to
their own grandchildren.
When children experience a place
where history is alive, their curiosity
can flourish and they can develop
new perspectives and skills for their
future.
Admission for youth 17 and under
is free. Seniors cost $6.60 and senior
annual passes are $16.97. And don’t
forget, all Parks Canada places—in
person and online—can be experienced
in both English and French.
For the summer program schedule
and activity ideas, visit pc.gc.ca/
en/lhn-nhs/bc/fortroddhill/
activ/activ5.
18 Grand grandmag.ca

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grandmag.ca
Vol. IV, Ed. II 19

Grandparenting
Grandfathered
Excerpt from Grandfathered: Dispatches
from the Trenches of Modern
Grandparenthood by Ian Haysom (Heritage
House Publishing). heritagehouse.
ca/book/grandfathered.
Ian Haysom has been a reporter,
writer, film critic, correspondent, editor
and columnist. He was editor-in-chief
at Vancouver Province and Vancouver
Sun as well as news director for BCTV,
Global and CHEK. He lives with his wife,
Beth, near Victoria, where he writes
and works as a news consultant.
Over one summer, for three and
sometimes four days a week, I
looked after my then three-anda-half-year-old
granddaughter Mayana—pronounced
My-Anna—while
her mom was doing a yoga teacher’s
course.
Mayana calls me “grandad.” She
used to call me “grangrad,” which I
found kind of cool, but I guess somewhere
along the line I graduated to
full-blown grandfather.
During my summer with Mayana, I
was going to teach her a lot of things.
How to ride a bike.
How to sing Yellow Submarine.
How to say “please” and “thank you”
and all that stuff we grownups find
kind of important.
How to write her name.
How to have fun.
Instead, I think I learned more than
her than she learned from me.
Mostly, how to slow down.
And not only smell the roses—but
count them. And count them again.
And again. And again.
How many red ones. And blue ones?
And white ones? And do we prefer the
white ones, or are the red ones prettier?
I also learned, for instance, that
washing your car can be a far more
memorable experience if you let your
three-and-a-half-year-old granddaughter
hold the hose. The car didn’t
get very wet, but we did.
That summer had been a pivotal
and somewhat emotional time for me.
After more than 45 years working as
a journalist, I was leaving the daily
grind of journalism. And heading to
the dreaded r-word: retirement.
Some guys yearn for retirement. I
had mixed feelings. Retirement meant
all the clichés to me—a lack of purpose,
doddering into a life of seniors’
specials and matinee movies, a world
of baggy cardigans and pinochle or
euchre, whatever they are. Someone
told me I was old enough now to play
pickleball, a kind of tennis for old
people. I could still play tennis. Could
still serve the occasional ace, and here
I was already consigned to the shuffleboard
of life.
I’m not sure how the idea of me
looking after Mayana came up. I might
have volunteered. Or, more likely,
someone volunteered me. Amy, my
eldest daughter and a single mother,
said she had this intense yoga course
to attend for the summer, and it would
be tricky to have Mayana cared for.
And suddenly, it became patently
obvious that everyone else was busy,
and I had nothing useful to do.
…
It started with a slow walk. The first
day of the summer that I looked after
Mayana began with what I expected
would be a quick stroll to a small playground.
It would normally take me
five minutes at most to walk there.
This day it took us almost an hour.
We stopped to look at flowers. Then
bees. Then butterflies. Then we blew
dandelions. We picked buttercups.
And looked at horses in a field. Then
we patted a dog. And talked to the
owner. And then we talked to the dog.
Mayana, on this first day of the rest
of my life, taught me on our first full
morning together to slow down. Not
just slow down. But also come to a full
stop. And sometimes, go backwards.
Until that week I had been running
a turbulent, crazy TV newsroom in
Vancouver. My life was organized
chaos, particularly on days of big
20 Grand grandmag.ca

eaking news, when nobody had time
to blink, let alone think.
One of my last jobs was to oversee
our coverage of an election. I’d commissioned
polling, argued with party
officials about the format of the TV debates,
pushed for us to get to the heart
of the issues, gone through graphics
and results systems and online coverage—and
now here I was staring at a
crack in the road.
“Why is the road broken?”
“It’s not broken, it’s just cracked a
bit.”
“Will we fall in?”
“Well, no, it’s just a small crack.”
“Will it get bigger and bigger and
then we’ll fall in?”
“I don’t think so.”
Stopping to smell the roses was out
of the question. Today, I wasn’t only
smelling them—in the neighbours’
front yards—I was also counting
them, testing Mayana on the various
colours (her favourite is purple) and
spotting as many bees as we could.
“They won’t hurt us, grandad. The
bees are friendly if you don’t hurt
them.” She’d learned that much. Do
you know why they’re buzzing around
the flowers? I asked her. She didn’t,
and frankly, I didn’t know much more
since I was never a gardener nor paid
much attention in biology classes, but
I kind of stumbled through a hazy
description of what bees do with pollen
and how they make honey and
also that, in this particular society, the
Queen Bee rules. Kind of like at our
house, I said.
You’d have thought running newsrooms—newspaper
and broadcast—
would have been perfect training for
looking after a grandchild. I always
likened my job to that of a kindergarten
teacher. There were certainly
tantrums and tears. And bruised egos
rather than bruised knees.
I joked, when I was in the news
world, that I learned more from Robert
Fulghum than all the management
courses I went on over the years.
Fulghum wrote the delightful book
All I Really Know I Learned from Kindergarten.
Fulghum, the essayist and
former Unitarian minister, had a huge
bestseller in the 1980s. It should be
republished for a new generation.
Some of the advice?
Share everything.
Don’t hit people.
Live a balanced life.
Learn some and think some
Hold hands and stick together.
Be aware of wonder.
“Grandad, what’s that pink flower
called?”
I had absolutely no idea.
“A geranium,” I said. “Or a chrysanthemum,
maybe?”
“A chriscinnamon?”
“Something like that. Or maybe a
daisy.”
We counted more than 50 butterflies
on our walk, most of them white,
a couple of them more colourful. We
watched them land on the flowers
and then flutter off in search of more
adventure. I honestly hadn’t realized
there were so many butterflies in
our street. I guess I had failed to look
properly. My head was usually full of
other stuff.
Mayana decided she’d prefer to be a
butterfly than a bee. She didn’t want
people to be scared of her. “Everyone
loves butterflies. And they can fly so
high. Look, grandad, that one’s higher
than that big tree.”
Then she held my hand. “What do
you want to be, Grandad?”
It was a good question. Until that
moment I’d been somewhat confused
about who I was after leaving the
newsroom. It defined me. I loved being
in the middle of all the noise, in the
middle of a vital, relevant world, and I
was trying to come to terms with what
and who I now was. I never really
wanted to be “retired” and snapped at
anyone who even suggested I was now
in retirement.
But right then, right at that very
moment, while the world slowed to a
perfect stop, while my granddaughter
clung onto my hand and looked up at
me with large, brown innocent eyes,
I knew one of the things that I what I
wanted to be.
A grandfather might be a cool thing
after all.
Photo: PictureWest Photography
grandmag.ca
Vol. IV, Ed. II 21

Cooking with
Grandkids
Cooling Down with Frosty Treats
With summer’s heat comes the joy of going to the beach, building sand
castles and swimming. Or staying cool by running through a sprinkler.
Frozen treats are another great way to cool down. They are also
fun and easy to make at home!
Homemade frozen treats are far better than those that are store-bought.
• They contain less sugar, artificial flavours and food colouring. And it’s easy
to make them completely sugar-free by using 100% fruit juice.
• Homemade treats are zero-waste and affordable.
• You don’t have to have a popsicle maker or an ice cream machine. Though
both of those are helpful, there are other options for making homemade frozen
treats.
Best of all, homemade frozen treats are a fun and flavourful way to connect
with your grandchildren!
Here are three basic recipes to get you started. Feel free to mix and match
ingredients to create your own favourite blend.
1. Add edible flowers and mint leaves to popsicles. The results are beautiful.
Perfect for your little gnomes and fairies.
2. Whole raspberries, strawberries and cherries make a fun addition to popsicles
or ice cream. I recommend avoiding blueberries which freeze solid and
aren’t as enjoyable.
3. Kids love mixing liquids. Give them a few different drinks and let them
mix their own concoctions. Try brewed herbal teas, 100% fruit juice, yogurt
or cream. Which combinations freeze the hardest? Which ones have the best
flavour?
Fruit Juicesicles
The easiest homemade frozen treat is a fruit
juice popsicle. If you don’t own a popsicle maker,
then just use an ice cube tray. A cup full of
flavourful ice cubes is pretty fun and perfect
for taste-testing different combinations.
A few piece of whole fruits (strawberries, cherries,
raspberries)
100% Fruit juice or fruit and vegetable juice blend
1. Wash and chop the fruit into small, bitesized
pieces. Place a few pieces in each popsicle
container.
2. Pour in the juice and freeze for at least
3 hours.
Smoothie Creamsicles
Whenever we make smoothies for a snack, we always make a double-batch and freeze the extras
as creamsicles. Again, if you don’t have a popsicle maker, just use an ice cube tray.
The best part about homemade creamsicles is that we get to add whatever we want to the
smoothie. For a boost of protein add 2 tbsp of peanut butter. Adding 1 tbsp of cocoa powder will
result in a chocolatey treat. You favourite smoothie is equally enjoyable as a creamsicle. Blueberry
banana creamsicles are one of our favourites.
1 banana
1 cup of blueberries
1 cup of yogurt
1 tsp vanilla extract
1. Place all of the ingredients in a blender. Pulse until everything is well-blended and smooth.
2. Pour into the popsicle maker and freeze for 3 hours, until frozen solid.
22 Grand grandmag.ca

Honey Vanilla
Frozen Yogurt
This frozen yogurt recipe includes a mix of
whipping cream and yogurt, because straight
frozen yogurt is incredibly icy. Sweetening it
with honey not only avoids refined sugars, it
also keeps this treat creamy and smooth.
If you want the flavour of frozen yogurt,
but don’t have an ice cream maker, freeze
the liquid in a 10-inch baking pan. after 1 hour
beat in the ice chunks with a whisk. Place
the pan back in the freezer and whisk again
after 45 minutes. Freeze for a third time, and
whisk after 30 minutes. The goal is to bring
a bit of air into the liquid so it doesn’t freeze
into a solid ice cube. For really creamy ice
cream, whisk another few times. Otherwise,
leave the frozen yogurt to freeze solid in the
baking pan.
2 cups of yogurt
1 cup of whipping cream
½ cup of honey
1 Tbsp vanilla extract
Pinch of salt
1. Freeze your ice cream maker for at least
24 hours before making frozen yogurt.
2. Mix the yogurt and whipping cream
together.
3. next stir in the honey. This is a bit
tricky because the honey needs to be really
runny in order to fully mix into the dairy.
I recommend measuring the honey into a
glass container, then microwaving it for
20–40 seconds so that it is really liquidy.
Whisk the whipping cream and yogurt while
slowly dribbling in the honey so that it is
fully combined.
4. Stir in the vanilla and salt.
5. Follow the instructions of your ice cream
maker to churn the frozen yogurt. Transfer
the frozen yogurt to a freezer container and
freeze for at least 2 hours prior to serving.
BEST BABY GIFT
GRAND
Vol. IV, Ed. II
grandmag.ca
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Move Well &
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Grandfathered
An excerpt
GRAND
Vol. IV, Ed. I
grandmag.ca
®
Ways to Be
a Fabulous
10Grandparent
GRAND
Vol 1, Ed 2
grandmag.ca
BECAUSE BABIES GROW
Grandparenting
from Afar
From
the Start
A birth
Q&A
Victor & Edith
Newman
Master Carver
& Textile Artist
Rock the
Podcast
How to create
—and launch—
an engaging
and entertaining
podcast
Running
Your First 10k
Close to Home
Comox Valley
Gordy Dodd
Grandfather &
Community
Superhero
Shots in a Snap
Photographing
Your Grandkids
Emillie Parrish writes from Victoria
and Saturna Island. She is the author
of the Pacific Northwest lifestyle blog:
BerriesandBarnacles.com.
grandmag.ca
Stories, Resouces and Inspiration to be
the best GRANDparent and the best you!
grandmag.ca
Vol. IV, Ed. II 23

Grandparenting
The Best Places on Vancouver
Island for Family Photos
Erin Wallis
With the warmer weather and
easier—or better yet, nonexistent!—schedule,
summer
is the ideal time to photograph family
and friends. And what better place to
do it than on Vancouver Island. Here,
from 7 Island photographers, are a
some of the most scenic and fun places
for a photo shoot that are guaranteed
to make you smile.
Campbell River
Off the top of my head, Saratoga
Beach comes to mind. The reason I
love Saratoga for generational images
is the space you have there. It is ideal
for spreading out! Especially for larger
groups, another big consideration is
accessibility for elderly/grandparents!
Too many roots, stairs, unstable
ground isn’t ideal for people with any
difficulties and I find somewhere flat
and easy ideal. Here are a few images I
had from a Saratoga session.
– Erin Wallis (erinwallis.com)
24 Grand Ashley Marston
grandmag.ca

Cowichan Valley
For Mid Island, I would suggest Eves
Park and Transfer Beach. Both locations
are easy to find with quick easy
access. First, get ready to have fun!
Gone are the days that we all stand
perfect in front of the camera and
smile. Although it’s great to have one
or two of those photos, my sessions
are all about capturing the connection
between family members and that
means lots of interaction between myself
and the family and all the family
members themselves.
– Ashley Marston
(ashleymarstonbirthphotography.com)
South Island
Here’s my biggest advice: find a location
you can get to within minutes
of arriving. If you have little ones with
you (grand littles) you have already
used up most of their cooperation
time getting them dressed up and
driving to the location. If you have to
walk a long distance to get to the perfect
spot they will have zero love for
you by the time you get there!
This also works great for grandparents
and seniors. If you can get there
shortly upon arrival, it’s likely going
to be more accessible to anyone with
mobility challenges. Remember, light
is more important than location and
Maryam Morrison
getting everyone together for photos
is already considered success. Focus
on everyone having a great experience
and you are more likely to get better
images you can look back on and enjoy
for years to come.
My fave spots include:
Glencoe Cove Kwatsech Park. Big
grassy field. Beautiful views of the
ocean. Gorgous beach for those who
can do stairs. All in one spot.
Rowing Club at Elk Lake. HUGE
grassy fields that look beautiful in
summer and fall. The docks for the
lake backdrop and lots of parking and
washrooms.
– Maryam Morrison
(findyourlightphoto.com)
Nicole Israel
South Island
When I have intergenerational
shoots or clients who require easy location
access, I recommend:
Albert Head Lagoon in Metchosin.
The parking lot is right next to the water,
a beautiful mixture of water and
forested scenery.
Mount Tolmie in Saanich has a
garry oak eco-system that offers a gorgeous
view of Victoria. There is parking
all the way up the mountain, so no
hiking involved.
Island View Beach in Saanich Peninsula
provides different backdrop options,
with the beach and ocean to one
side, and a grassy field to other.
– Nicole Israel
grandmag.ca
Vol. IV, Ed. II 25

Nature
R-E-S-P-E-C-T! Find out
what it means to me…
Respectfully exploring seashores and parklands
For countless generations, the Indigenous
Peoples of the Lәḱәŋәn
(Lekwungen), WSÁNEĆ, Scia’new
and T’Sou-ke First Nations have been
thoughtful caretakers of the lands
within the Greater Victoria area. Living
in respectful balance with all living
things is a fundamental principle
of their beliefs and is still the basis of
their relationship with the land today.
As a guest from the
Kwakwaka’wakw Territory of the
northeastern part of Vancouver Island,
I share this sense of interconnection
and balanced relationship.
The people from my territory also believe
that with respect, we appreciate
the interconnection of all life and our
essential part in the circle of life. This
teaching and many others were taught
to me as a child.
I was six years old when I learned a
valuable lesson about respectful exploration.
My family had travelled up
island to visit relatives in the village
where my mother was born. We were
attending a wonderful feast featuring
some of my favourites, like clams,
herring, sockeye salmon and ť’ɫi’na
(oolichan grease), a type of fish oil
and delicacy to Coastal First Nations.
After the meal, the adults settled in to
share family stories, histories and traditional
songs and as much as I loved
to listen to the elders sing and speak
the language, my mind wandered to
the beach.
I wanted to flip over rocks, dig in
the sand and scoop up whatever was
hidden inside or underneath. While
exploring, I picked up a large horse
clam shell from the beach to hold what
I found. A tiny sea star, hermit crab
and sea snail were among some of
my treasures, along with a few small
stones that caught my eye. I added in a
little sea water for my new friends and
couldn’t wait to show the collection to
my mother.
I made my way back to my parents,
and triumphantly stepped up to present
my menagerie. The sadness that
came into my mother’s eyes was deeply
disappointing and I felt my excitement
drain away. My mother gently
26 Grand grandmag.ca

took the shell from my hand, looked
inside and said, “I think your little
friends are scared and I wonder what
their parents are doing right now?”
I remember looking away and
shrugging my shoulders as my mother
continued. “I don’t know what I would
do if someone took you away from me.
I would be heartbroken and would
probably spend the rest of my life trying
to find you.”
That did it! I felt a wave of overwhelming
regret and burst into tears.
How could I have been so thoughtless?
My mother gave be a reassuring hug
and then accompanied me to return
my ‘friends’ to their homes on the
beach.
As I grew up, I learned more about
why First Peoples believe that all living
things should be respected. From
insects to eagles; from bees to bears;
and from crabs to caribou, we believe
that unless we have a purpose, like
hunting, gathering or fishing, we do
not have the right to disturb animals
in their natural environment.
While raising my own children we
often spent time at the beach respectfully
exploring. I let them know that
it’s okay to turn over a rock or two and
thoughtfully observe the creatures
underneath. It’s okay to look inside a
tide pool and watch the tentacles of a
sea anemone sway back and forth in
search of food.
But I also let them know that it’s not
okay to interfere with the animals.
Instead, we learned about the traditional
methods for harvesting and the
multiple uses for plants and animals
on the beach.
In my capacity as the Cultural Programmer
for CRD Regional Parks, it
is my role to develop education programs
with an emphasis on promoting
and celebrating the cultural history of
First Nations in CRD Regional Parks. I
work with a dedicated team to ensure
Indigenous cultural teachings are
respectfully applied to researching,
preparing, and delivering park interpretive
programs. I am proud to say
that our collaborative efforts are now
an integral part of raising awareness
of Indigenous Cultural heritage in Regional
Parks.
I am now a grandmother and looking
forward to the days when I can
pass along these teachings to my
grandchildren and explain what
R-E-S-P-E-C-T- means to me.
Leslie McGarry is the Cultural Programmer
at CRD Regional Parks. For up to
date information on CRD Regional Parks,
visit crd.bc.ca/parks.
grandmag.ca
Vol. IV, Ed. II 27

Health &
Wellness
Feelings First
Helping your grandchildren navigate BC’s
restart plan and new social situations
With summer officially upon us
and B.C. easing its pandemic
restrictions, many families are
turning their attention to social gatherings.
Now that playdates and parties of
up to 50 people are once again allowed,
grandparents are excited to finally
see their grandkids again, although
some are expressing concerns with the
impact of physical distancing on little
kids’ development. Luckily, experts say
you already have the tools it takes to
support your grandchild’s social and
emotional health.
Whether it’s visiting a friend’s home
or attending a birthday bash out in
the park, these fun experiences may
feel overwhelming for young children,
especially those under six years of
age. For some, these gatherings will be
their first in over a year. Experts say
it’s important to pay closer attention
to your little ones during these times.
“Caregivers can observe how their
children are interacting with others
in these new social settings,” says Dr.
Anamaria Richardson, a Vancouverbased
pediatrician. “It’s important to
let children express their emotions
and listen in a non-judgmental way.
During this time, it’s most important
for parents and caregivers to be present,
not perfect. You know your child
best, and you can trust your gut.”
While being in these new situations
may be stressful for some children, Dr.
Richardson notes it’s not necessarily a
bad thing.
“Not all stress is bad stress. Small
challenges help children cope with
bigger ones. There are numerous
opportunities in every child’s life to
experience manageable stress—and
with the help of supportive adults,
this “positive stress” can be growthpromoting.”
Children learn from making mistakes
and trying again. Your positive
response to those mistakes reinforces
this process. Praise your child not only
for their successes, but also for their
willingness to try different things.
In the early years, your grandchild’s
social and emotional health is every
bit as important as their physical
health. It impacts how they express
emotions, deal with stress, develop
friendships, and helps to determine
their connections to the world around
them through stories, conversations
and play.
Michelle Horn is a mother of two
young kids, and a program manager
with BC Children’s Hospital Kelty
Mental Health Resource Centre. In
a few weeks, she’s planning the first
visit with her kids’ grandparents in
over a year—a big moment after a long
time apart.
Horn says if your grandchild is feeling
stressed or anxious in new situations,
physical touch like holding,
hugging or cuddling your little one
can help.
“Healthy touch is an essential part of
healthy child development. From birth,
physical contact between caregiver and
child promotes brain development,
creates attachment, and helps children
feel more secure and connected to you.
It also supports their development and
helps to build their brain.”
Paying attention to your grandchild’s
feelings in new social situations,
and talking about them, is also
important. It can ease their anxieties
in the moment, and also help them to
28 Grand grandmag.ca

learn how to express and process feelings,
which helps children grow into
emotionally healthy adults.
“Social and emotional development
starts early. From recognizing
emotions to just talking and hugging,
small things make a big difference,”
says Horn. “Research shows that longterm,
fostering early social and emotional
development in the early years
leads to healthy brain development,
success in school, increased community
involvement, and even success in
future employment.”
The need to foster healthy social
and emotional development in young
kids became more evident when the
COVID-19 pandemic first kicked off in
the spring of 2020. Based on evidence
from early childhood development, a
provincial group of B.C. organizations
and experts got to work to develop
resources for parents and caregivers.
The result: the Feelings First social
media campaign.
“Families told us they needed more
information about ways to better support
their children in the early years,
especially during the challenging
time of COVID-19,” says Sana Fakih,
provincial lead of early years health
& wellness at Child Health BC. “The
Feelings First campaign was created
based on research and feedback from
parents and caregivers. It’s had great
results so far, with more than 60 organizations
involved.”
With short, simple messages like “It
feels good to talk about feelings” and
“Routines relieve stress,” the campaign
has reached thousands of parents
and caregivers with hundreds of
thousands of impressions online.
“This is just a first step in what we
hope to do in B.C.,” says Fakih. “We
hope families can use these messages
to help their young children enjoy
visiting with friends and relatives this
summer and beyond.”
For more information on the campaign,
go to feelingsfirst.ca or follow
@Feelingsfirst.ca on social media.
– Provincial Health Services Authority
GET CLOSER
the-raptors.com
W e w e l c o m e a l l a g e s
7 5 3 V I E W S
T R E E T
grandmag.ca
Vol. IV, Ed. II 29

Community
The Value of Volunteering
What kind of volunteer opportunities
are out there?
If you can imagine it, it might exist!
Modern volunteering appeals to
almost any hobby, interest or skill—
from fashion stylist to acting as a
board member, there’s always something
for everyone.
Volunteers do not get paid, but
there is always a return on your volunteering
investment. People volunteer
for all types of reasons – to give
back, to learn, to make friends, or to
add something new to their resume or
share a skill with others.
What kind of things will nonprofits
ask me for when I apply?
Volunteer Victoria works with more
than 300 non-profit organizations and
each one has a slightly different volunteer
application and intake process.
Depending on the position, you may
be asked to:
• complete an application form
• send your resume and references
• meet for an interview
• get a police check
• get a child welfare check
• attend an orientation
• attend specialized training
How do I find the perfect volunteer
position?
Volunteer Victoria’s database hosts
more than 300 volunteer positions,
which can be a little overwhelming.
Choosing a volunteer position is the
hardest part of volunteering!
Before you begin your search, think
about the following questions. Be honest
with yourself!
Questions to ask yourself:
Why do you want to volunteer?
How much time do you have to commit?
Do you want to volunteer for one
day or something ongoing?
Do you want to volunteer with your
head or your hands?
Are there any specific causes that
interest you?
Are you looking to do a certain kind
of activity?
Is there an age demographic you are
most comfortable working with?
What skills do you want to learn or
are you looking for job experience?
What kind of surroundings would
you like to be in?
What special skills or talents do you
have to offer?
Do you have any limitations that you
will need to fit into your position?
What kind of volunteer work would
you dislike?
Do you want to volunteer in a team,
alone on individual projects, or from
home?
Would you consider a virtual or micro
volunteering position?
How do I use the database to get
started volunteering in Greater
Victoria?
1. Think about what kind of volunteer
opportunity you want.
2. Search Volunteer Victoria’s online
database. If you need help finding
a position book an appointment to
meet with a volunteer advisor.
3. Select your favourite
volunteer opportunities:
volunteervictoriaadvisors.
secure.simplybook.me/
4. Learn more about the organizations/causes
and then apply to the
organizations using the Volunteer
Victoria database or directly through
the organization’s website.
5. Start making a difference.
For more information on volunteering,
visit Volunteer Victoria at
volunteervictoria.bc.ca.
30 Grand grandmag.ca

Breathe some fun into
your summer with
outdoor spin classes,
yoga, boot camps
and Zumba.
Join us outside in Central Park
and on the spacious grass field
at Royal Athletic Park.
victoria.ca/recreation | 250.361.0732
Fort Rodd Hill and
Fisgard Lighthouse
National Historic Sites
Let your imagination run wild! Explore
Fort Rodd Hill—a 100-year-old coast
artillery fort—and feel history come alive
at Fisgard—the oldest lighthouse on the
west coast! Connect to nature at this
beautiful coastal location, just 20 minutes
west of downtown Victoria.
Visit the website regularly for up-to-date
information on what is open, what is
closed, and how to be safe when you visit.
Free admission for youth 17 and under.
Adult $7.90; Senior $6.60.
pc.gc.ca/fortroddhill
250-478-5849
Facebook.com/FortRoddFisgardNHS
Twitter.com/FortRoddFisgard
grandmag.ca
Vol. IV, Ed. II 31

Your donations help Family Services of Greater Victoria
provide the following professional programs
and services to families in the region.
Family Services
of Greater Victoria
Programs and Services
Caught in the Middle
Counselling/Therapy Services
Art/Play Therapy Techniques
Facilitated Parent–Child Connection
In-Person & Telehealth Services
Mediation for Couples
New Ways for Families ®
Parent Support & Resources
Separation Resource Services
Support for Grandparents
Learn more about our services and how to donate
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