PAZZAGE OCT 2021

Each of us is made differently. Our genetics,
our upbringing, and our experiences are
different and hence we all react differently to
setbacks. This is natural and if one’s genetics
and early experiences make one more
positive, one is lucky. But there are certain
mental adjustments, actions, and practices
that can help anyone bounce back faster
from downturns. And it is these adjustments,
actions, and practices that helped me
continue to grow in happiness even during
those toughest of times and to reinvent my
life as a bestselling author and a muchsought-after
keynote speaker.
Surprisingly, I am the happiest person
I have ever met in my life. Surprisingly,
because an incurable autoimmune
disorder stole all my big dreams from
me. At 34, I was on top of the world.
BTech from IIT, MBA from XLRI, a
fantastic career that saw me
becoming the youngest COO in the
Indian telecom industry. My dream
was to become the global CEO of a
Fortune 500 company by the time I
was 45.
The disorder, undiagnosed at that time,
started at 34 as a slight tremor in my hands
and a slight loss of balance, progressively
kept getting worse. By the age of 41, I was
completely paralyzed and most of the fine
motor muscles in my hands and feet had
wasted away and so had some of the larger
muscles in my arms and legs. That was when
the diagnosis happened, and I was put on
medication. Medication that barely worked
and had huge side effects. I put on over 16
kilos, my bone density started reducing and I
had to undergo cataract surgery. In spite of
all the medication, I would trip and fall and
even mundane tasks such as buttoning up
my shirt were a nightmare. Worst, when the
annual medical bills were Rs.20 lacs, I was
also sacked from my job. You might think I
was crushed, depressed, pessimistic. Nope.
Because happiness is a state of mind.
Believe that the Buck Stops with You
While all the doctors that I met told me that
my current medications were the only
options, I never stopped looking for
alternative solutions. Finally, I found a doctor
in the US who was treating patients with my
condition with an experimental procedure. I
spent time and effort understanding the
procedure and then I had to even convince
my Indian doctor that this was a good option.
I believed that I have very little control over
circumstances, but I have complete control
over how I can react to these circumstances.
The treatment helped me hugely. All because
I took total ownership of my own life.
Accept that Life isn’t Fair
Many people, confronted with setbacks, start
cursing their fate. But, if you accept the fact
that life isn’t fair to start with, instead of
wasting energy on “Why did this happen to
me”, you will accept what has happened. This
acceptance is essential if one has to look for
solutions instead of focusing on the problem.
Add Value to Others
The more we reach out and help others, the
more self-worth we get, and the happier we
get. I believe changing my own focus from
‘how I can add maximum value to myself’ to
‘how I can add maximum value to the world’
was the single biggest factor for my
happiness. Ultimately, we all have just one
life. The choice is ours — should we focus on
maximising our pleasure or focus on
maximising happiness for ourselves by
focusing on adding value to others.