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A wise man once said, “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach”. I didn’t fathom the
profundity of the ‘kahavat’ until I married a Mallu and tried to navigate to his heart without GPS or
a pole star to guide. My Jesus & Mary school, at gole dak khana and a B Ed thereafter, were found
to be grossly inadequate to handle the innumerable, tongue-twister Mallu gastronomical
delicacies. Until then, the only time I had eaten fish was at kake di hatti, a pomfret heavily coated
with gram flour and deep-fried. Only when I landed up in Malluland did I know that there are so
many types of fish.
Mallus’ unending appetite for a variety of dishes is mind-boggling. If it is karimeen (pearl-spot)
mappas one day, it would be fish molee the next day, pollichath followed by roast fish. Then, there
is mustard fish and dahi maach, both imported and adopted from Bengal. Chicken and mutton
dishes- besides the local varieties, mughalai and awadhi ones are equally sought after. I am not
going to venture into the list of vegetarian dishes, at this juncture.
Till I landed here, breakfast meant and bread or parathas. Besides idli and dosa which have an
international appeal, appam & stew is another mallu specialty. Upma vada and puttu are common
too. A clever man that he is, he gave me a well-equipped, spacious kitchen and complete freedom
to experiment. I self-taught baking numerous dishes and he was a willing guinea pig. It was a
painstaking journey to include all the above and more in my repertoire from where I began. It was
a gargantuan task. Just when I thought I’ve arrived, my Mallu will shift his goal post to schezwan,
Manchurian or such provinces of China, from there to Italy for pizza & pasta and finally to Istanbul
for Turkish dishes. I took on the challenge head-on and eventually my Mallu had to surrender. In
Malayalam “valu vech keezhadangi”.
Now, the way to his heart is by heart that even blindfolded on an amavasi night, I shall get there
without a GPS or pole star.
PS: Five-star hoteliers, don’t try calling me. My Mallu is a very possessive guy.
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