The Snowman ( PDFDrive )

Harry filled his lungs with the sharp air. Felt it bite. It tasted of winter. He closed his eyes to the sun
and listened.
‘By the time I found out, he had already made his decision and left Moscow for Oslo. I had two
options. To give the child a father in Moscow who would love and look after him as if he were his
own – so long as he thought he was his own – or for the child to have no father. It was absurd. You
know what I feel about lying. If someone had told me that I – I of all people – would one day
choose to live the rest of my life based on a lie, I would of course have denied it vehemently. You
think everything is simple when you’re young; you know nothing about the impossible decisions
you may have to face. And if I’d only had myself to consider, this would have been a simple
decision, too. But there were so many things to take into account. Not only whether I would crush
Fjodor and affront his family, but also whether I would destroy things for the man who had gone to
Oslo and his family. And then there was Oleg to take into account. Oleg came first.’
‘I understand,’ Harry said. ‘I understand everything.’
‘No,’ she said. ‘You don’t understand why I haven’t told you this before. With you there was no
one else to take into account. You must think that I’ve tried to appear to be a better person than I
am.’
‘I don’t think that,’ Harry said. ‘I don’t believe that you’re a better person than you are.’
She rested her head on his shoulder.
‘Do you believe it’s true what they say about swans?’ she asked. ‘That they’re faithful to each other
until death do them part?’
‘I believe they’re faithful to the promises they’ve made,’ Harry said.
‘And what promises do swans make?’
‘None, I would assume.’
‘So you’re talking about yourself now? In fact, I liked you better when you made promises and
broke them.’
‘Would you like more promises?’
She shook her head.
When they started walking again she hooked her arm under his.
‘I wish we could begin afresh,’ she sighed. ‘Pretend nothing had happened.’
‘I know.’
‘But you also know that that’s no good.’
Harry could hear that the intonation implied this was a statement; however, hidden somewhere there
was still a tiny weeny question mark.
‘I’ve been thinking of going away,’ he said.