NG2 April/May 2022
Local business directory and community magazine.
Local business directory and community magazine.
Create successful ePaper yourself
Turn your PDF publications into a flip-book with our unique Google optimized e-Paper software.
Leftover Veg<br />
Any left over veg? Blitz it and then freeze it - you<br />
have stock ready when you need it.<br />
Unknown reader<br />
Happy Travelling<br />
Cat’s<br />
Download movies and series to your mobile<br />
devices from Netflix or Amazon before you set off.<br />
Especially if you have children, just don’t forget the<br />
headphones. B Singh<br />
Keep your Buttons On<br />
Crackers<br />
Top Tips<br />
Don’t lose your buttons – simply paint a bit of clear<br />
nail polish over the threads and let it dry. S Dringle<br />
TopJokes<br />
What’s red and invisible?<br />
No tomatoes!<br />
K Lowe<br />
What do you call a pony with a<br />
cough?<br />
A little horse!<br />
L James<br />
What kind of exercise do lazy<br />
people do?<br />
Diddly Squats!<br />
J Passfield<br />
What do call a boomerang that<br />
won’t come back?<br />
A stick!<br />
D Francis<br />
Travel Fresh<br />
Put 1-2 fabric softener sheets<br />
in your luggage/backpack when<br />
travelling to keep your clothes smelling lovely and fresh.<br />
M Haven<br />
Grow Roses from Cuttings<br />
What do you call a woman with<br />
one leg?<br />
Eileen!<br />
H Green<br />
I went to the pet shop to buy<br />
a fish. The man asked me if I<br />
wanted an aquarium. I said I<br />
didn’t mind what star sign it is!<br />
A Taylor<br />
If people from Poland are called<br />
Poles, why don’t we call people<br />
from Holland Holes?<br />
M Charles<br />
Push the bottom end of rose cuttings into small<br />
potatoes. The roses will grow healthy roots thanks to<br />
the moisture and nutrients in the potatoes.<br />
K langford<br />
Drink Saver<br />
I told the doctor I thought I was<br />
shrinking. He just told me to be<br />
a little patient!<br />
M Charles<br />
Take an empty bottle through customs and then<br />
fill it at a water fountain when you get through<br />
customs. M Haven<br />
Passport Photo<br />
WINNING<br />
ENTRY<br />
NO CUTS<br />
Use a bulldog clip to cover<br />
the blades on your razor<br />
when travelling. Saves<br />
accidental cuts and blunting<br />
of your razor as well as the<br />
inside of your toiletry bag.<br />
M Haven<br />
Always take a photo of your passport for a backup<br />
if you are travelling anywhere just in case you<br />
lose it. C Hinks<br />
I phoned the Paranoid Society<br />
the other day. The bloke on the<br />
other end said. “How the hell did<br />
you get this number?”<br />
M Charles<br />
A teacher told her class “there<br />
are two words I will not tolerate<br />
in my classroom. One is gross,<br />
the other is cool.<br />
A little boy at the back said<br />
“What are the two words, miss?”<br />
M Charles<br />
Send your top tip or<br />
joke for inclusion in the next mag.<br />
The best one will win a £20 One 4 All voucher!!<br />
Please email your entries to cat@ngmagazines.org.uk<br />
and include your name, address & tel no.<br />
All entrants must be 18 or over. For all our comp t&c’s please see the<br />
Useful Information Page at the back of the mag.
Change language