Sussex Exclusive Magazine Edition II 2022

HEALTH
Our kids watch
what we do
far more than
anything we
ever say,
although
they are also
our greatest
teachers if we
are willing to
listen without
being triggered
by what they
are showing us.
ways than one and change was needed, including
changes in my belief systems and new boundaries.
20 years later, I feel healthier than I ever have
with no signs of any immune conditions and a
trust in life that has baffled me more often than
not.
These days, I allow a “wealthy life” to be about
allowing the good and the bad into my life
without predetermining which is which and
being bold enough to know that we don’t make
mistakes, we simply make choices (albeit some
conscious some not). But we own those choices
and our goal in life should surely be about getting
to the end knowing we were mostly true to
ourselves and we lived with less regret and much
more heart and soul. It enables the dirt paths,
the bumps and the joy to all be about living, not
just existing within this game called life. It also
enables the kind of peace with life that allows us
to sleep like a baby and wake up ready to take on
the challenges life will always bring.
What is wellbeing?
So back to the title, are you yet to find your own
wellbeing? What changes need to happen that
you are ignoring?
Did you know that the World Health
Organisation’s definition of wellbeing is far less
about the absence of disease and much more
about the mind, body, spirit connection?
It requires us to resist the cognitive bypassing
of being grateful for the good bits and it means
we need to get into self-responsibility and selfawareness.
It is here we learn to surrender to what
is but equally shift our perceptions enough to
allow what will be.
It also requires us to understand that although we
can eat the green juice and do the yoga, if we are
still stuck in the mind, we are no nearer to peace
than our friend who eats and drinks what they
want and lives as if today is their last day.
Conscious thought and
observation
From experience working in the mental health
arena for the last 15 years, conscious thought is
vital these days just as is knowing our own minds
and trusting life just that little bit more than we
fear it.
Coming out of the mind is important but hard.
Mindfulness automatically tells us to think about
the mind and yet coming out of the mind and
into our bodies is one of the most important
things we can do in order to sleep like a baby and
live as only we can.
Empathy for ourselves
Shakespeare famously said thoughts are neither
good nor bad only thinking makes it so.
Brene Brown says put shame into a Petri
dish, and it only needs three things to grow
exponentially: secrecy, silence and judgement. If
you put the same amount of shame in a Petri dish
and douse it with empathy, it can’t thrive.
Being human is as simple as it is complicated but
if you want to find peace it begins with kindness,
especially with ourselves. But mix that with selfresponsibility
and we begin to know we can do
hard things even when we have no idea how.
Pass it on
Learn this by osmosis and life is very possible and
the gap between dreams and reality becomes a
series of stepping stones during which we are able
to adjust our lens at any time to learn the lessons
and thrive at the same time, without becoming
addicted to destinations or living in fear of the
proverbial tap on the shoulder.
Learn this as an adult and it’s a powerful
motive to raise generations who learn to smash
glass ceilings without the fear of never being
enough. Our kids watch what we do far more
than anything we ever say, although they are also
our greatest teachers if we are willing to listen
without being triggered by what they are showing
us. That’s not always easy but then being human
isn’t easy. Do the work however and watch them
thrive and grow.
None of this is a quick fix or an easy lesson. Like
all things worth the weight, it takes time and
conscious thought as well as practice. But if you’re
looking for a sense of wellbeing, start by looking
within, because you almost certainly have it
already, you just need to uncover it.
66 | sussexexclusive.com