So... (text only)

Uhm.
I didn't acknowledge that my parents
had that addiction until I was older.
Oh yeah?
And so, I... I like to be in control of
myself and my life.
Mhm.
And so, the fact that the first time I
had alcohol I was in college... first or
second night I went away to college
and people are drinking and I was
drinking. And I had several drinks and
I remember thinking I don't feel like
I'm myself I feel like I'm watching myself
behave...
And when I finally came to myself as
probably two or three in the morning
and I was really cold and I didn't have
my coat on. And I couldn't remember
where I'd left my coat and I thought,
I don't like the feeling of not knowing
that I had control over what was going
on around me.
Mhm.
And I just didn't like that. And so, I
can count on my hand, on one hand
how many times I've ever had more
than...
like I don't want anymore, I don't need
anymore I don't want the feeling of
not remembering what's going on in
my life.
Yeah, that makes sense.