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Uhm.

I didn't acknowledge that my parents

had that addiction until I was older.

Oh yeah?

And so, I... I like to be in control of

myself and my life.

Mhm.

And so, the fact that the first time I

had alcohol I was in college... first or

second night I went away to college

and people are drinking and I was

drinking. And I had several drinks and

I remember thinking I don't feel like

I'm myself I feel like I'm watching myself

behave...

And when I finally came to myself as

probably two or three in the morning

and I was really cold and I didn't have

my coat on. And I couldn't remember

where I'd left my coat and I thought,

I don't like the feeling of not knowing

that I had control over what was going

on around me.

Mhm.

And I just didn't like that. And so, I

can count on my hand, on one hand

how many times I've ever had more

than...

like I don't want anymore, I don't need

anymore I don't want the feeling of

not remembering what's going on in

my life.

Yeah, that makes sense.

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