The-Lucky-List-Rachael-Lippincott

A new start.
I push it away, whirling around to face him. “Are you kidding me? Please tell me you’re joking.” My
voice cracks unexpectedly on the last syllable.
His eyes widen and he takes a step back, stunned. “I don’t—”
“I mean, I know we don’t ever talk about anything, but you didn’t think to talk to me about this?
About any of this? What good is a bier closet when all we’ve been doing this summer is getting rid of
everything! All her stuff! Like she doesn’t mean anything anymore!” I say, my hands balling into fists.
“I thought you were… fine with all of this. You’ve been so happy this summer, I just thought—”
“Yeah! And you want to know why? Because of the list. Her list. e list you would barely talk to
me about,” I shout. “I’m not fine with any of this, Dad. I don’t want a fresh start. I don’t want to move
into a place so completely different from what she would have wanted.”
He soens, his eyes filling with so much disappointment, it makes me feel awful about being mad.
Awful about ripping his enthusiasm to shreds. Awful about feeling like this is such a total and
complete betrayal.
But it is.
“Em…,” he starts to say, but I shake my head, cutting him off.
“Forget it, Dad. Let’s just… let’s just go,” I say, pushing past him and walking down the narrow steps,
across the faded white carpet, past the SOLD sign.
We don’t speak the entire ride home, or for the rest of the day. My words opened a box that we
usually keep tightly closed.
As I’m driing o to sleep that night, I hear his footsteps coming down the hallway, the door to my
room creaking open.
“I love you, Em,” he whispers into the dark.
I want to say it back, but if I talk, I don’t know what else will come out. How could he be so fine
with any of this? Fine with just packing everything up and moving on and forgetting her. Fine with
moving into a place she hated.
I know the bills. The debt. I know it’s the only choice we have, but why is he so happy about it?
I squeeze my eyes shut as the tears begin to fall, my fingers finding the leather bracelet around my
wrist, sitting just below the tattoo I was so excited about only a few hours ago.
She felt so close then. But now? Now I cry myself to sleep in the house that is no longer my home.