The-Lucky-List-Rachael-Lippincott

28
I sit silently through the rest of the bonfire, Matt next to me, Kiera shooting me questioning looks from
across the circle.
“Is something wrong?” Matt whispers in my ear. “Was it what Kevin said about the underclassmen?”
I shake my head. “I think I’m just tired.”
I look around me, and everything… should be fine. I mean, everything is fixed. My reputation. My
friend group. The glares and the snide remarks completely silenced.
I mean, Jake is acting like nothing happened. Ryan and Olivia are even perfectly fine with hanging
out with us.
But nothing feels fine. Not to me.
I slip away early, making up an excuse about going to the bathroom, but by the time I get back to
our room, Blake is already asleep.
I want to wake her up. To say something. But I made a choice tonight that I can’t undo. Everything
is ruined.
I don’t have a list to make this right.
My phone lights up with texts from Matt and Kiera, but I crawl into bed, squeezing my eyes shut.
e look on her face as she walked away circles around inside my head, replaying over and over again
beneath my eyelids, until inevitable stomach-aching sobs force their way out. I bury my face deep in my
pillow in an attempt to muffle the noise.
Slowly, slowly, the sobs give way to sleep.
When I wake up the next morning to my alarm going o, Blake is already gone. Her bed empty, her
things packed, the only sign she was ever here at all is the mess of white sheets, a lingering outline in
the mattress.
It takes more eort than I could possibly imagine to get ready and packed, the bus rumbling noisily
outside, waiting for all of us to board.
When Mr. Sanders’s voice rings through the halls, letting us know we have five minutes to get on, I
take a deep breath, trying to keep it together. I check my phone and see all the unread messages, and it
only pushes me closer to the brink, the air hiccuping as it passes through my lips.
I need to go home. I just need to go home.