Issue 2 | 2023

I couldn’t move past this verse. I read it
again. And again. Each time, a different part
of it jumped out at me.
“His power is made perfect in my weakness.”
“His power is made perfect in my weakness.”
“His power is made perfect in my weakness.”
God illuminated my heart and mind as I
meditated on this verse, and I noticed the
contrast between my weakness and God’s
power. Being in that weakened state positioned
me to experience the fullness of God’s
power. It allowed me to witness God’s power
in action, and I realized that hardship wasn’t
my enemy. It wasn’t something to pray away
immediately.
Still, I didn’t appreciate feeling helpless or
weak. I’ve always been a take-control person,
as self-reliant as they come. And yet…I never
seemed to achieve the desired outcome. Honestly,
I often made things worse. And that led
to feelings of self-pity and bitterness.
I was a living example of God’s Word in
Jere miah 17:5, “Cursed are those who put
their trust in mere humans, who rely on human
strength and turn their hearts away from
the Lord” (NLT).
The Lord showed me that self-reliance had
prevented me from having a deep personal
relationship with Him. I was a spiritually
dead Christian who foolishly believed I was
in control.
My son’s arrest presented a situation over
which I had zero control. My child was facing
serious prison time, and there was no amount
of action or self-reliance that would change
the outcome. For the first time in my life, I was
desperate for God. Without His intervention
and help, I would have drowned in my sea
of troubles.
And that’s when I started to discern God’s
presence in my life. He kept nudging me and
asking, “Do you trust Me?”
I wish I could say I immediately surrendered
and said yes, but it wasn’t that easy.
After all, this was my son. How could I trust
anyone else to care for and love him more
than I did?
I wrestled with God for months, until my
brother sent me a copy of an article about a
desperate mother with a prodigal son.
This woman talked about a dream
where she’d recited a prayer for her son,
touched him with the blood of Jesus, and
then asked God, “What now?” God told
her to leave her son with Him. She then
shared how she laid her son at the foot
of the cross and trusted the love of God.
By the time I finished reading the article,
I was sobbing, overcome by tears of joy
and relief as God spoke to my heart. He
invited me to leave my son with Him and
trust His love. No, I couldn’t be with Brett.
I couldn’t help him.
But God could, and He would.
I surrendered my son that day into my
heavenly Father’s loving arms. I found
immediate relief as He lifted that heavy
burden from my shoulders.
After that, my prayers became more
confident. I began coming boldly to God’s
throne of grace to find the help I needed
(Hebrews 4:16). I asked God to send the
Holy Spirit to comfort and strengthen my
son (John 14:16) and to place Christians in
his path to guide him and share the love
of Jesus with him. God’s Spirit comforted
me too.
A few years into Brett’s prison sentence,
I learned of a prison ministry called Kairos.
I attended an orientation meeting for
a local group of volunteers who hosted
weekends inside a women’s prison with
the intent of building a Christian community
there.
I felt drawn to the ministry as I heard
stories of how lives were being transformed.
God had led me to this place and
prepared me for this moment.
I thought back to when I’d asked God
to place believers in Brett’s path in his
prison. Now the Lord was calling me to
step into the path of someone else’s child
behind bars and be a living example of
Christ’s love.
Those Kairos weekends were a blessing
for me; I felt so at home! I had come full
circle from wallowing as the cursed one in
Jeremiah 17:5 to being a living testimony
of Romans 8:28. Because I loved the Lord
The Lord was calling me to step into the
path of someone else’s child behind bars
and be a living example of Christ’s love.
Paula and Brett pictured
at her college graduation,
then later at his high school
graduation.
VICTORIOUSLIVINGMAGAZINE.COM
Issue 02 / 2023
13