Issue 2 | 2023

GOD CAN
CHANGE
YOUR
FUTURE
H
THE STORY OF
MIKE JENKINS
ow you feelin’, Mike?”
Grandma asked me this question every time
we were alone in her car. My behavior had grown
increasingly dark, and she was convinced it was
only a matter of time before I hurt myself or maybe
someone else.
“It ain’t good to keep all those emotions bottled
up inside you,” she’d warn.
But even if I’d wanted to answer her, I couldn’t. I
didn’t feel anything. I wasn’t always that way. As a
kid, I’d had lots of emotions…but few felt good. So
I stuffed them deep inside and kept going.
My mom was 15 when she gave birth to me.
She was young, single, poor, and severely addicted
to crack cocaine. Our home was chaotic, and
I didn’t have a safe space to express how I felt.
Mom wasn’t emotionally, mentally, or physically
able to hear me, much less help me sort through
my pain.
If I told anyone else how I felt, I’d have to reveal
the root of the problem, and that would break an
unwritten code between Mom and me. Whatever
happened in our house, stayed in our house.
16 Issue 02 / 2023
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