13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do_ Take Back Your Power, Embrace Change, Face Your Fears, and Train Your Brain for Happiness and Success ( PDFDrive )

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You think that other people are blessed with easier lives.You sometimes wonder if the world is out to get you.Can you see yourself in some of the examples above? Self-pity can consumeyou until it eventually changes your thoughts and behaviors. But you can chooseto take control. Even when you can’t alter your circumstances, you can alter yourattitude.WHY WE FEEL SORRY FOR OURSELVESIf self-pity is so destructive, why do we do it in the first place? And why is itsometimes so easy and even comforting to indulge in a pity party? Pity wasJack’s parents’ defense mechanism to protect their son and themselves fromfuture dangers. They chose to remain focused on what he couldn’t do as a way toshield him from having to face any more potential problems.Understandably, they worried about his safety more than ever. They didn’twant him to be out of their sight. And they were concerned about the emotionalreaction he might have to seeing a school bus again. It was only a matter of timebefore the pity poured on Jack turned into his own self-pity.It’s so easy to fall into the self-pity trap. As long as you feel sorry for yourself,you can delay any circumstances that will bring you face-to-face with your realfears, and you can avoid taking any responsibility for your actions. Feeling sorryfor yourself can buy time. Instead of taking action or moving forward,exaggerating how bad your situation is justifies why you shouldn’t do anythingto improve it.People often use self-pity as a way to gain attention. Playing the “poor me”card may result in some kind and gentle words from others—at least initially.For people who fear rejection, self-pity can be an indirect way of gaining help bysharing a woe-is-me tale in hopes it will attract some assistance.Unfortunately, misery loves company, and sometimes self-pity becomes abragging right. A conversation can turn into a contest, with the person who hasexperienced the most trauma earning the badge of victory. Self-pity can also
provide a reason to avoid responsibility. Telling your boss how bad your life ismay stem from hopes that less will be expected from you.Sometimes self-pity becomes an act of defiance. It’s almost as if we assumethat something will change if we dig in our heels and remind the universe thatwe deserve better. But that’s not how the world works. There isn’t a higher being—or a human being for that matter—who will swoop in and make sure we’re alldealt a fair hand in life.THE PROBLEM WITH FEELING SORRYFOR YOURSELFFeeling sorry for yourself is self-destructive. It leads to new problems and canhave serious consequences. Instead of feeling grateful that Jack survived theaccident, his parents worried about what the accident took away from them. As aresult, they allowed the accident to take away even more.That’s not to say they weren’t loving parents. Their behavior stemmed from adesire to keep their son safe. However, the more they pitied Jack, the morenegatively it affected his mood.Indulging in self-pity hinders living a full life in the following ways:• It’s a waste of time. Feeling sorry for yourself requires a lot of mental energyand does nothing to change the situation. Even when you can’t fix theproblem, you can make choices to cope with life’s obstacles in a positiveway. Feeling sorry for yourself won’t move you any closer to a solution.• It leads to more negative emotions. Once you allow it to take hold, self-pitywill ignite a flurry of other negative emotions. It can lead to anger,resentment, loneliness, and other feelings that fuel more negative thoughts.• It can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Feelings of self-pity can lead toliving a pitiful life. When you feel sorry for yourself, it’s unlikely you’llperform at your best. As a result, you may experience more problems andincreased failures, which will breed more feelings of self-pity.
Page 5 and 6: DEDICATIONTo all who strive to beco
Page 7 and 8: THEY DON’T GIVE UP AFTER THE FIRS
Page 9 and 10: like to go back to the place where
Page 11 and 12: motorcycle. I also began writing. A
Page 13 and 14: out tips on how they should act and
Page 15 and 16: with his coworkers, the less they i
Page 17 and 18: need help from anyone or any type o
Page 19 and 20: CHAPTER 1THEY DON’T WASTE TIME FE
Page 21: encouraged his parents to stop feel
Page 25 and 26: sitting around in a circle sharing
Page 27 and 28: reaction was all about their differ
Page 29 and 30: her love for running. Over the year
Page 31 and 32: Jeremiah Denton served as a U.S. na
Page 33 and 34: sorry for yourself, even when you d
Page 35 and 36: Lauren about her “new age parenti
Page 37 and 38: You spend a lot of time complaining
Page 39 and 40: • You avoid addressing the real p
Page 41 and 42: cause.If you’ve spent most of you
Page 43 and 44: someone when you’re feeling overl
Page 45 and 46: consequences. Perhaps you won’t g
Page 47 and 48: associated with increased pain tole
Page 49 and 50: CHAPTER 3THEY DON’T SHY AWAY FROM
Page 51 and 52: the basement to get them and most o
Page 53 and 54: irrevocably changed.• Habit chang
Page 55 and 56: to apply for new jobs. He worried t
Page 57 and 58: something different. But if you are
Page 59 and 60: She went to speech therapy eight ti
Page 61 and 62: • This will never work.• I can
Page 63 and 64: EMBRACING CHANGE WILL MAKE YOUSTRON
Page 65 and 66: Putting off doing anything differen
Page 67 and 68: on the most lavish vacations. James
Page 69 and 70: You think people who don’t reach
Page 71 and 72: you achieve success when you try ha
Page 73 and 74:
Those who strike the right balance
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what she does have control over—l
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• Point out the positive. If some
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five-hour telethon raised $10.5 mil
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Not relying on yourself for the ent
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were stuck at work.Megan also frequ
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Do any of those examples sound fami
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generous. But when you think about
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people feel bad. Someone may not ge
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she wakes her son up for school, he
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they want because they’re so used
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Mose temporarily left his Amish com
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Identifying your values and behavin
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of his life, he’d wanted to open
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You avoid risks in at least some ar
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our emotions are just not rational.
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when we’re not in any actual dang
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Most of the research shows that we
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So I spent some time thinking about
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Prior to his death in 2007, Psychol
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Recognizing irrational thoughts tha
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admitted she hadn’t been a very g
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You invest a lot of time in thinkin
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DWELLING ON THE PAST DISTRACTS YOU
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about negative events increases inf
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although she may have made some mis
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• Practice forgiveness. Whether y
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Moving forward in your life, even w
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successful person, so it surprised
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Despite her frustration, Kristy had
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forty pounds last year but then slo
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ventured outdoors to follow the ban
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your mistakes:1. Establish behavior
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get rich in the booming silver mini
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WHAT’S NOT HELPFULMaking excuses
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appearance of financial abundance h
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are.You secretly experience joy whe
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A 2013 study titled “Their Pain,
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I had been working with a man in my
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• Don’t insult other people’s
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working. But he lost sight of his v
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Although many people may have been
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CHAPTER 10THEY DON’T GIVE UP AFTE
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While some people are motivated by
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types of thoughts kept her from ach
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to cultivate the skills necessary t
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• I can handle failure.• I can
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middle of the Great Depression, Wal
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Sometimes people are comfortable wi
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CHAPTER 11THEY DON’T FEAR ALONE T
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downright scary. Do any of the poin
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And then, of course, some individua
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full-time because she’d felt bad
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Evaluate whether you’re taking go
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months of meditation.Meditation has
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been linked to improved physical he
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he initially felt that meditation w
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CHAPTER 12THEY DON’T FEEL THE WOR
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demands.Lucas agreed to take his ne
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superiority. Sometimes it is about
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We see it all the time in the media
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how unfair it was that she got canc
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can ensure you don’t develop an i
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Recognizing areas of your life wher
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effort, therapy wouldn’t do any g
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potential.WHY WE EXPECT IMMEDIATE R
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THE PROBLEM WITH EXPECTINGIMMEDIATE
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expectations may influence your beh
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weren’t an effective way to get w
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immediate results:• Keep your eye
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greater financial security as adult
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CONCLUSIONMAINTAININGMENTAL STRENGT
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provide you with the type of suppor
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REFERENCES
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CHAPTER 2Arnold, Johann Christoph.
Page 223 and 224:
CHAPTER 4April, K., B. Dharani, and
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CHAPTER 6“Albert Ellis and Ration
Page 227 and 228:
CHAPTER 8Ariely, D., and K. Wertenb
Page 229 and 230:
CHAPTER 10Barrier, Michael. The Ani
Page 231 and 232:
CHAPTER 12Cross, P. “Not Can but
Page 233 and 234:
Vardi, Nathan. “Rudy Ruettiger: I
Page 235 and 236:
COPYRIGHTThis book contains advice
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13 Things Mentally Strong People Don&#039;t Do_ Take Back Your Power, Embrace Change, Face Your Fears, and Train Your Brain for Happiness and Success ( PDFDrive )

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13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do_ Take Back Your Power, Embrace Change, Face Your Fears, and Train Your Brain for Happiness and Success ( PDFDrive )