Marta and the Blue Tiger by Alla Kudziieva

Marta and The Blue Tiger 1
“Introductions”
Oh, yeh… that’s Marta’s way: “oh oh” – and she’s beetled off.
“That’s what I can’t get my head around” – she was telling a bit out of breath to the Blue
Tiger, who was walking grandly next to her. “Has the world turned upside down, or is it me
standing on my head?”
The Blue Tiger squinted at her, without really turning his muzzle, grunted, stared blithely at
the horizon, and continued wagging his behind in a soft cat trot.
“No, please understand,” she persisted, jumping over yet another fallen tree, “I don’t know
what to choose: should I live without understanding the world or should I accept that the
world doesn’t understand me?! This is vital! Everything depends on it! Either I will have to
learn the art of vanity and blame the whole world or learn to exist in depression and progress
in self-flagellation. Can’t you get it?”
“Why are you running, my dear?” asked the Blue Tiger without turning his muzzle and just
jiggling his tail in displeasure.

“I’m running away.”
“Yet no one is chasing you.”
“True… Obviously…” Marta stopped abruptly.
The Blue Tiger also stopped. He sat down leaning against the tree. With his long, striped tail,
he flapped on the fold of his beige trench coat, and with one deft movement of his paw,
caught the joint that flew out of his pocket. He lit it and took a long lazy toke and offered the
joint to Marta. Marta pulled on her shades, fixed her dress, and sat across.
“I really don’t understand,” continued the Blue Tiger, blowing the smoke out.“You are
running away from a choice, aren’t you?”
“No, no! Of course, not. I’m running from the groom. I’m straight from the wedding.”
“Judging by the black veil, from your own wedding, as far as I understand.”
“Well, yes.”
“Then, you are selfish, my dear.”
“I beg your pardon? You are wrong here. In this case, I’m, quite on the contrary, making
sacrifices for the good of society.”
“Well,” Blue Tiger relit the pot, “this is a completely different matter. Let’s go on, then.” He
handed the joint to Marta.
“Thank you,” Marta responded politely and pressed her lips to the joint.
“I’ve heard, and please correct me if I’m wrong,” said the Tiger crossing his legs, “That
people need ongoing communication with each other, and moreover, this connection is
exclusively energetic. Is it true?”
“Right. There are several interpretations, though; some folks still talk about chemistry,
instincts, or smell, but in general, you are absolutely right.”
“I’ve also heard that people are constantly craving for new energy, that you are addicted to the
very process of searching and anticipation.”
“This is also true. People are narcomaniacs of their own illusions and vices. But what are you
getting at?”
“I mean that I would call you, Marta, a human if it were not for your wing instead of your left
arm. Therefore, most of your heart, where the quills of feathers do not reach, is human. So,
you are more than infected with the humanity virus??”
Marta took off her glasses and stared at the Blue Tiger.
“That’s gibberish, my dear friend,” she answered defiantly. “Are you trying to convince me
that I’m infected with feelings? Human feelings???”
“I wanted to, but I didn’t expect such an arrogant protest on your part.” The Tiger took
offense at Marta’s tone, sprawled and stared at the sky.
“Don’t you know,” Marta continued authoritatively, crawling slowly on her knees, closer to
the Blue Tiger, “in order to be able to feel, and I mean really feel, you have to give the other
person your entire heart? Wholly.”

The Tiger turned his muzzle and brushed his nose in Marta’s face. He looked fearfully into
her frightened eyes and hugged her with his huge fluffy paws.
“Marta, my darling, but you are wounded.”
“I know, - said Marta, - closing her eyes and trying to dive deeper into the wild cat’s
embrace.”
“Maybe you should cry? I’ve heard this is a great illusion of panacea.”
Marta and The Blue Tiger 2
“Revelation”

Martha and The Blue Tiger have already been living together for a year. It was an absolutely
comfortable and harmonious relationship. The Blue Tiger felt absolutely independent - a
must have condition of existence in his mind. And Martha was at ease all the year and that
allowed her to breathe. On the very first day Martha moved in, Tiger pinned a silver chain to
her wing (which, as we remember, she has instead of her left arm), the other end of which
was attached to his tail. Sometimes, when he was in a state of pensiveness, distinctly
incontent, his tail, in a feline manner, would nervously flick from side to side and drag
Martha along with it. But this usually did not last long, barely enough for Martha to come
back from her imaginary world, just to pet behind the Blue Tiger’s ear, and it was a
nonchalant, quite sleepy movement.
On Tuesday, at about two in the morning, Martha was asleep stretched out on the sofa, and
The Blue Tiger was reading Woody Allen, monotonously stroking her toes. When he finished
reading one of the letters, he grabbed Martha off the sofa and placed her beside him. Martha
grudgingly declared that she had no intention of waking up, but The Blue Tiger explained the
importance of his reasons and read the letter to Martha out loud. Have finished listening,
Martha opened her eyes and asked for a few minutes to reflect.
- Are you saying that cynicism of the generation has reached its limit, and thus deprived the
ability to feel another person? - Still dwelling on her thought, Martha asked an annotative
question
- Exactly. It's obvious. Look, the level of intimacy with a person is determined by how often
his name is mentioned in the newsfeed. The definition of lying derives from the number of
reposts. And the volume of the scream for psychological help corresponds to the number of
likes. No one remembers any longer how important it is to read out loud.
- Absolutely true. But then don't be so categorically cynical either, the invention of such
insensitive systems has also brought its benefits. Of course, such inventors that can still think
are few, but they are there. Take FaceTime, for example! You remember my friend from
Paris, don’t you?! We haven't seen each other for years, we've already passed the stage of
"once a year we talk and still have something to talk about", it's already awkward to even
talk, to the point we forgot about each other, yet seeing a familiar face, distorted by the
screen, you just feel a bust of energy. Of course, it's not the same when you can touch the
person, but still. It's helpful for maintaining our dependency on human emotions.
The Blue Tiger took off his pince-nez and looked more closely at still sleepy but already quite
belligerent Marta.
- And what about your scientific work about the possibility of a pure pleasure of solitude? -
he asked a bit skeptically.
- I've come to the conclusion that it takes up a lot of space and has considerable weight. And
if this buzz is not exchanged, it goes stale and gets in the way of development. It is an
important accumulative process.
- What kind of tests did you use when you developed this theory?

- The first stage proved that I could wholeheartedly enjoy the famous single-player game
when you reach a vital urgent goal without knowing the way, but following the indicated
path.
- It's a good game. - Blue Tiger perked up and nestled at Martha's feet - What style did you
choose playing it?
- The last time I was on the path of warmth. I walked only those sidewalks, that were at least
partially lit by the sun, which made me feel warm, as it turned out that my summer dress, had
become irrelevant to summer today. And at each at a traffic light, when I stopped, I could
hear my heartbeat pounding out the inner timbre of this city. Such a loud and thunder-like
drumbeat inside. That, of course, is what made me do the ritual dance of the highest of
sensations, which is love.
- Interesting, indeed" Tiger exhaled, "and then?
- I thought that would be enough to dissolve, but then I realized that I couldn't keep myself
from starting a conversation with the neighbor's dog or playing hide-and-seek with the young,
ambitious cat in the yard.
- Sorry for interrupting, but have you used any auxiliary substances for those contemplations?
- No. I keep hold to this ritual, and only with you I’m still using it and only on February 1st.
- Well…The Blue Tiger was processing Marta’s response and asked:
- So playing with the cat was your reason for thinking that the consequence of pleasure was
the telepathic contact ?
- Not exactly. The real reason was yet another bouquet of flowers that I give to our barista
every morning. Right with the first sip, I clearly realized that I don't have enough words or
gifts to express my gratitude for the light she radiates. One look at her makes me want to tear
off a piece of myself and give it to her. Share my blood. And it's an even, mutual exchange.
It's interdependence. And that immediately, to call Daria and tell her, in minute and colorful
details, how sincerely the coffee girl rejoices in my gift.
- Darling, you are making great progress in your work. I think you got a fever.
The tiger got closer to Martha and with his huge paw around her pressed his lips to her hot
forehead.
- And let the number of these people be limited to the list of names added to the photo. But it
is so vital, on a daily basis, to feel this dependence on people. Such a tremendous need and
gratitude for the people closest to us - Martha kept reporting - you and me, for instance. In
our relationship, unlike in common human relationships, you can't justify everything with a
sexual connection, don’t you agree? It would be ridiculous, you're a Tiger afterall. But
nevertheless, with no artistry, absolutely no money, and even your own car, you manage to
drive me around the city at night so skillfully - I would be completely desiccated. Without
your chain on my wing, all I would do is fall. And I can't imagine how I would have lived
without your admiration of my ballet lessons.
- Martha, do you realize that you've come to that very publicly forbidden phrase? - he placed
his paw on her face and turned it toward him

- Yes. I'm ready - Martha took a deep breath, and straightened her back, slowly looking
straight in The Blue Tiger’s eyes - I love you, The Blue Tiger - and then having lost interest,
she yawned and continued - But now, excuse me, Mr. Allen was wonderful, but I must get
back to my sleep which you interrupted just as I was eating a lemon cake with a silver spoon.
Marta and the Blue Tiger 3
“The new venture”
Stationed cozy in his blue velvet chair in the middle of the forest, The Blue Tiger was reading
a
newspaper. Marta was especially moody today and refused to look back. Walking as you like
was allowed, diagonally or sideways, but just not looking back. This was Marta’s new
venture.
- What’s the point of looking back if all you need is right here, right in front of you, she said
capriciously, sitting at the paws of The Blue Tiger.
- But you are nowhere ahead, yet, - The Blue Tiger answered picking up Marta’s tone and
taking
his eyes off the newspaper.
- I can’t stand it when you are right. Moreover, I feel bored. I think I’ll run away from you.
Marta got on her feet and stared at the newspaper that The Blue Tiger was reading. Without
breaking away from reading, The Blue Tiger got a rolled-up joint out of the pocket of his
beige

trench coat and took a long slow whiff.
- I’m gonna run. I’m expected there, you know, - ahead of me. – She sounded rather
wayward.
- Marta, you won’t be able to escape from your own self. No matter how far ahead you run,
you
won’t make a single step away from yourself.
- Here you are again, - and Marta stormed off.
She ran with all her might looking straight ahead. She made the full circle, just as big as the
chain pinned at one end to her wing (which, as we remember, she had instead of her left
arm),
and at the other end to The Blue Tiger’s tail, allowed her.
- Don’t you think you’ve returned to your original place? - the Blue Tiger asked her, putting
the
newspaper away.
- I’m here just to catch my breath
- Well, well… - the Blue Tiger plunged into reading the sports page.
Marta waited for another minute and a half to be noticed and took off at double speed.
After another circle was completed, she collapsed at the base of the blue velvet chair.
The Blue Tiger looked obliquely at her gasping and shaking.
- Don’t you think that the logic of your actions is broken? – he asked.
- It didn’t sink in yet. My head is spinning.
- You were running for the new because you didn’t like the way it was. But you came back to
where you were, to the old.
- True. Absolutely foolish waste of time, - said Marta still a bit out of breath, - But what can I
do? Here I am, - bored again!
- It’s odd. In my opinion, you have concocted such an engaging distraction for yourself –
running
around in circles.
- It’s all because of that stupid chain of yours on my wing. It makes me run from myself yet
after
myself. Besides, the circle is way too impeccable.
- Will you try again?
- No. I’d rather think about what can be done with the chain.
- Isn’t that the very reason you lost your left arm?
And right at this moment, Marta for the first time realized that the chain was pinned to her
wing
just with a gold safety pin.

Martha and the Blue Tiger. 4
"Honey Moon in the City of Dust"
Marta was sitting at the typewriter. With her wing (which, as we remember, she had instead
of her left arm) she was warming up her bent legs while with her right arm she was hitting the
keys incessantly. Writing.
The Blue Tiger gave Marta an invisibility cloak as a present. A special one, for the walks
around the City of Dust, where he took her for the honeymoon.

Marta fell in love with the gift. She coveted it so badly that she couldn’t even imagine it until
the very moment she put it on for the first time. Now, she began wearing it every day. This
has become her new ritual.
Every morning, at 5 o’clock, she slipped out of the house and headed wandering around the
city. She managed to return when The Blue Tiger was just waking up.
And never once did she catch him sleeping, although she really wanted to.
Having returned, she settled herself down right on top of the blanket, across from The Blue
Tiger, and began to tell him about everything she had found in the city.
-Good morning.
The Blue Tiger pulled himself up and sat down, leaning on his elbows
-Good morning.
Marta was waiting, wiggling impatiently. She needed The Blue Tiger to focus enough to
listen to her.
The Blue Tiger reached for a glass of orange juice unhurriedly, and the for his pince-nez;
threw his paws behind his head, and uttered:
-What do we have today? – he asked
-First, appreciation, -she rapped out long-awaited text, -I’ve found oxycodone berries you
tossed into my cloak pocket. Thanks. It was very handy.
-Your thanks are accepted, - The Blue Tiger got a bit embarrassed.
- And now about the new, - she continued, a little disconcerted, on next inhale, - Today I’ve
studied such a phenomenon as the impact of the sun on a human. The impact of a
phenomenon has been transmuted into the phenomenon of impact, and it seems I’ve
discovered a new kind of addiction. Addiction to the sun.

- Is it berries talking out? -The Blue Tiger adjusted the pince-nez on his nose.
- Rather, the consequences of berries. And some people who are capable of seeing me
through the invisible cloak.
- Go on.
- So, Is it from the heat or from the light, I’ve not yet got it, but the human has a dependency
on the sun’s rays. Having been exposed to even a slight dose of the sun, they experience the
pleasure differently. They begin to covet it. Want to smile, want a shorter dress. Want an ice
cream. And ice cream, banana flavor, in particular, is a sure sign of a celebration.
- I’m not gonna argue, - The Blue Tiger agreed, licking his lips.
- At night, - Marta continued, - We are in withdrawal, green around the gills. That’s why we
create during the night. Make things up. Sometimes even get sick without sun. It is addiction.
It is painful. Everyone knows that creating is possible only when it hurts.
- Well, your arguments are reasonable.
Marta stared motionlessly at The Blue Tiger for another second with burning, childlike eyes.
The next instant, completely changing her facial expression, she climbed headlong under the
blanket and barely legible demanded:
- Now, give me more of your oxycodone berries and I’ll fall asleep. The city is very
wearying. It’s difficult, you know, to carry so much dust on.

Marta and the Blue Tiger 8
“The feeling of feelings”
So, Marta got the box with her black veil from her wardrobe.
She didn’t get it right away though. She was standing and staring at it for quite a while.
She was looking at it with defiance and anger, with her arms crossed on her chest in a
belligerent manner. And being on the edge of flying into a rage, she sighed heavily, as if
exhaling the inevitability. Then, in one second, she smiled peacefully, and on her tiptoes, she
got the box off the shelf.
She had complicated feelings towards the veil. It was like meeting an old acquaintance. First,
you feel the warmest and most tender emotions, the sincere joy, and a few minutes later you
realize that you have actually nothing to talk about, and it’s kind of awkward, and you want
to get rid of it as soon as possible. After all, it’s just a weird past. However, after a glass of
wine with which you tried to smooth out this awkward situation, you start to remember that
you were not bored with each other in the past, and then another glass of wine is ordered.

And when a completely drunken pseudo-nostalgia seems to be the biggest loss in life, the last
thought will slip in as the last warning: that it was indeed a weird past.
But oh well; too late now and you have to face the music.
Having such dialogues with herself, Marta slowly wandered around the house, touching,
quite uncertainly and tenderly, everything she wanted to part with. She carefully pressed the
box to her chest with her wing (which she had, as we remember, instead of her left hand.)
- One might think – she was indignant – that everything new is necessarily good!
As if this just couldn’t be another tasting of the newfangled cuisine. You try it, you don’t like
it, so you get out and go to your favorite restaurant.
Marta trudged to the living room, sank into The Blue Tiger’s favorite armchair, and began
stroking the velvety armrest with her fingers while holding the box with the black veil close
to her chest.
- Well, and what should I do with my theory of constant ascent? – she sarcastically objected
herself, - What about my scientific work on everlasting joy where one of the fundamental
principles is that every new step is an improved version of the previous one? Where there is
only a thorough analysis of what has been done should immediately, right this second, be
thrown away, and one greedily moves towards the newness.
Marta was about to mock herself but immediately thought, muttering that without being
prepared, the scandal is not bound to be. She stroked the armchair one last time and continued
to wander around the house. She hadn’t yet decided whether she wanted to wait for The Blue
Tiger to say goodbye or it would be noble to disappear quietly.
Having reached the steps of the second floor, Marta heard the sound of the door lock opening,
and she turned around, frozen just on the first stair.
“Hello,” she exclaimed happily as soon as The Blue Tiger entered the house.
“Hey, there.”
The Blue Tiger didn’t expect to see her right this second, but on the whole, he looked
absolutely calm. He closed the door behind him and stared at her. Leaning against the
doorframe, he put his paws in the pockets of his beige trench coat.
“It’s wonderful that you came,” Marta was very cheerful, “now I don’t have to decide how to
run away. There is only one option now.”
“Glad to help you,” The Blue Tiger smiled kindly but looked slyly. “I see you’ve got your
wedding attribute. It suited you quite well when we’d just met.”
“You know, it’s exactly the reason why I’m still lingering here. I can’t make up my mind
whether I need it,” Marta sounded tired, “I’ve been so unstable lately, you know.”
“I know,” The Blue Tiger’s voice was still calm, but his tail gave him away. The cat’s
resentment forcefully rushed behind him, pieces of the broken chain tinkling.
“Oh,” Marta was a bit embarrassed, “Have you noticed I ripped the chain? This night.”
“You could have just unfastened the safety pin, couldn’t you? Why rupture it?” Ignoring her
question, The Blue Tiger asked his own one.

“Well, of course, for pure aesthetics. Such a beautiful piece,” Marta looked at silvery
reflections on her wing. “And most likely, it cost you a fortune too.”
The Blue Tiger ignored this remark as well.
“And what now? Going to get married again?” and still with the coat on, he came close to
Marta and took hold of the edge of her chain.
“Oh, well, I was planning it,” Marta sighed and, exhausted, sat down on the stair, “but this
strange feeling that you instilled in me got everything confused in my head. I felt completely
at a loss.”
“What feeling?”
“This one of yours – the silly one. The feeling of feelings.”
“And how does it manifest itself?”
“Isn’t it obvious?” Marta was angry with the Blue Tiger now. “Not only I can’t escape
properly, but I also left your trinkets on me,” and she just pulled the chain out of The Blue
Tiger’s paw.
“Well, my dear, you have always wanted to attract more attention. Never mind that wing
instead of your left arm, now on the top of it, you have a broken chain on this wing and you
are very close to your aspirations, in my opinion.”
“Only it seems to me that no one is going to marry me with such a dowry.” Marta smiled with
sadness.
“But you’ll take your black wedding veil with you, won’t you?”
“I think, I might.”
“And what about the feeling?” Now The Blue Tiger laughed at Marta rather arrogantly,
enjoying his superiority or it might have been his defensive position.
“Oh, it has to be cured,” she sighed
“Such a strong contagion?”
“More than. The symptoms have already reached the level of fantasies.” Marta began to
sound more and more ambitious. “Imagine yourself, those are the fantasies of the future, and
these are the scariest ones.”
“So, you got frightened. That’s the point.”
“That’s exactly what I’m talking about.” She nervously flapped her wing, almost hitting The
Blue Tiger on the nose with the silver chain links.
“Well,” The Blue Tiger sat beside Marta, “this is an odd feeling indeed.”
“You can feel it too?” Marta stared at The Blue Tiger.
With an almost pleading look.
“What can I say, my little girl,” The Blue Tiger embraced Marta. “Those are human feelings,
and I am a tiger. Besides, I am flabbergasted that you were capable of such human reactions. I
thought your heart is too pricked by the feathers of this wing.”
“Well,” Marta hesitated for a short while, took out the veil from the box and, coquettishly
pinned the thin lace to the hair. “I think it’s time I left.”

“Goodbye, Marta.” The Blue Tiger kissed Marta on the temple, and started ascending the
stairs while taking off his beige trench coat. “Please, don’t forget to leave a note with your
preferences for breakfast.”
Marta and The Blue Tiger. 10
"Paris."
And The Blue Tiger followed Marta to Paris.
It was hard for him not to go, as his tail and her wing, which Marta had instead of her left
arm, were still linked by a silver chain. The thin chain was outstretched to the limit, and it
annoyed The Blue Tiger pretty much. And his tail was in a constant silent frenzy, pounding
rhythmically on the floor.
The spring in Paris was almost beautiful, and the trees looked as young brides. Suppose it
weren't for the high winds and drizzling rain. The Blue Tiger had no choice but to buy a new
trench coat. This time in beige. She recognized him by this very trench. She knew about it

eforehand, of course, because instead of profound silence, the chain began to jingle on the
pavement, and thus she realized that the distance between them was lessening. It was
disturbing.
Marta decided that she wouldn't give herself away. And when she saw the familiar
blue-striped tail from beneath his trench coat, she yanked the chain with all her might.
But Tiger was faster. Feline’s presentiment or something. Before the swing of silver links
reached him, he was beside Marta in one leap.
- I see the waiting hasn't been tedious for you, Marta? - He asked her calmly as if nothing had
happened
They were standing in an alley, around the corner of a broad avenue.
- After all, this is Paris," - she said without looking at him, ostensibly observing passersby on
the avenue -"Everything here is supposed to be tedious and languid
- And what is your purpose for staying here?
- I thought of escape like I always do. But it turned out there is a clinic where they teach how
to fly with one wing
- Your new hobby? A scam?
- More like the same old, same old self-delusion