28 “ONE OF THE CONSIDERATIONS WHICH LED ME TO TEACHING WAS THE STRONG FEELING THAT I WANTED ALWAYS TO HAVE DINNER WITH MY WIFE AND CHILDREN.” OUTREACH spr<strong>in</strong>g 2008
from <strong>the</strong> Archives by Blackie Parl<strong>in</strong> I am a very fortunate columnist, because my editors never put any parameters on <strong>the</strong> subject of my column. This column has no direct relation to <strong>Newark</strong> <strong>Academy</strong>, although it has <strong>the</strong> aura of <strong>the</strong> past which may seem vaguely archival. Many years ago I drove a van-load of teenagers across New England to climb Mt. Wash<strong>in</strong>gton. I was a forced listener to more teenage talk than I wanted to hear, but at one po<strong>in</strong>t <strong>the</strong> conversation became fasc<strong>in</strong>at<strong>in</strong>g. The students <strong>in</strong> that van came from New Jersey, New York, Florida and Michigan, four different school systems. They got to talk<strong>in</strong>g about literature – books <strong>the</strong>y had read, plots <strong>the</strong>y knew, fictional characters <strong>the</strong>y found memorable. I was amazed at how much cultural heritage <strong>the</strong>y shared. And, more amaz<strong>in</strong>g, was how much of that culture I shared with <strong>the</strong>m. There clearly was a time when great literature created a bond across geography and age. I wonder whe<strong>the</strong>r modern trends to “make it relevant,” “make it global,” (trends with great merit), are not hav<strong>in</strong>g <strong>the</strong> effect of weaken<strong>in</strong>g <strong>the</strong> cultural bonds of <strong>the</strong> past. A modern van-load of teenagers would share a TV and <strong>in</strong>ternet culture, but I would def<strong>in</strong>itely not share it; <strong>the</strong> “culture,” <strong>in</strong> o<strong>the</strong>r words, would not embrace generations. Here is ano<strong>the</strong>r vignette from my past. After two years <strong>in</strong> graduate school and follow<strong>in</strong>g my marriage, it seemed good to seek a job. I was not certa<strong>in</strong> that <strong>the</strong> world had a good job for me. I didn’t want to sell anyth<strong>in</strong>g, had no skills to make anyth<strong>in</strong>g, and farm<strong>in</strong>g was out because of <strong>the</strong> distance from <strong>the</strong> New York Public Library on 42nd Street. Teach<strong>in</strong>g and journalism were my only options. SHARED CULTURES One of <strong>the</strong> considerations which led me to teach<strong>in</strong>g was <strong>the</strong> strong feel<strong>in</strong>g that I wanted always to have d<strong>in</strong>ner with my wife and children. Despite <strong>the</strong> passage of fifty years, I still consider this one of <strong>the</strong> most important decisions of my life. A few months ago I saw a report of a study that found that when children and parents have d<strong>in</strong>ner toge<strong>the</strong>r, and this implies conversation, <strong>the</strong> children on average do better <strong>in</strong> school and have lower rates of dysfunctional behavior. Sadly, <strong>the</strong> report was that fewer families are eat<strong>in</strong>g and convers<strong>in</strong>g toge<strong>the</strong>r. I like to th<strong>in</strong>k that Joan and I, or Joan with some support from me, were excellent parents. I th<strong>in</strong>k I’m most proud of <strong>the</strong> efforts we made to engage our young children <strong>in</strong> talk. I make no jokes about gett<strong>in</strong>g to a po<strong>in</strong>t where I wished for <strong>the</strong>m to keep quiet. Still most precious to me are <strong>the</strong> times spent talk<strong>in</strong>g with children and grandchildren. Now, po<strong>in</strong>ts one and two converge here. I am worried that two trends are weaken<strong>in</strong>g us – one is that we are los<strong>in</strong>g a common shared culture, and two is that we are los<strong>in</strong>g <strong>the</strong> art and opportunity for good conversation. A f<strong>in</strong>al observation about shared culture. I can hear some zenophobic voice rant<strong>in</strong>g about foreigners, forgett<strong>in</strong>g that all of us except <strong>the</strong> American Indians were once foreigners. My feel<strong>in</strong>g is that <strong>the</strong> more multi-ethnic we are, <strong>the</strong> greater is <strong>the</strong> need for a shared culture. We can build this by teach<strong>in</strong>g <strong>the</strong> presentation of profound <strong>the</strong>mes by great artists and seek<strong>in</strong>g shared <strong>the</strong>mes <strong>in</strong> our shared immigrant experience. NA NEWS spr<strong>in</strong>g 2008 29
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