Grey-Bruce Boomers Fall 2023

y Jo Davis
Who knew we’d be talking about finding purpose
and meaning after age 60? Hasn’t the time
for that passed? Our younger lives were filled with
busy-ness – careers, caring for children and elders
and community service – so much purposeful living!
Wasn’t this supposed to be the time to slow down
from all that? It might be… but what if it’s not?
What if we are feeling a little lost or stuck? This can
be a normal response to this era of not being in our
well-worn roles. While it might be time to take things
a bit slower, there is no reason why this time is not
equally as precious for living a life of meaning and
purpose – and even transformation – to something
we never imagined.
One thing I am finding beautiful and meaningful
about this time is spaciousness. If we are fortunate
and privileged, we have space and time to slowly
marinate in what this era can offer. I have often
referred to this time as a “Second Spring,” a time of
reinvention, growth and rebirth, and also a returning.
The following quote from writer Emily McDowell
always strikes me as a profound way of imagining
possibility. “Finding yourself ’” is not really how it
works,” McDowell said. “You aren’t a $10 bill in last
winter’s coat pocket. You are also not lost. Your true
self is right there, buried under cultural conditioning,
other people’s opinions and inaccurate conclusions
you drew as a kid that became your beliefs about
who you are. ‘Finding yourself ’ is actually returning
to yourself. An unlearning, an excavation, a
remembering of who you were before the world got
its hands on you.”
OPINION
So, if in fact you want to engage in some
“marination,” some excavation, and returning to a
self before the world got its hand on you, there are
some great places to start. Most importantly, start a
process to make your values concrete.
Values are our inner compass. They help us
determine our path according to what is important
to us, help us make decisions and live our best life.
We are not often asked to consider our values. They
are generally held unconsciously and arrive through
osmosis from our family of origin or through
experiences. If we are unhappy or feeling stuck often
our values are being squashed. Or simply, perhaps,
we are unaware of the possibilities available to us if
using our “true north.” Values are present in every
part of our lives including work, relationships, leisure
activities, community and learning.
I suggest writing down your Top 5 values and
identifying how much you are living them out on a
scale of one to 10. Make sure each value statement
is action-oriented (how you want to be or act) and a
full sentence, not just one or two words. For example,
“I value being a leader in my community (9/10).”
Values can also be aspirational. You could say
something like, “I want to spend time on activities
that support my mental health such as being in
nature (4/10).”
Not living out a deeply held value (like your 4/10)
might be a reason for your stuckness or purposeless
feelings.
Once you have established your values, spend some
time with them. Journal, have conversations with