Lot's Wife Edition 2 2016

SCIENCE
We put the fun in funerals
by Tracy Chen
Illustration by Julia Pillai
It’s Easter, and although Jesus might have had the miraculous
ability to resurrect, we’re not so lucky. Us mere
mortals, who are decidedly less prone to coming back from
the dead, have to explore some other alternatives.
There’s the more traditional burial, a coffin or casket,
and dirt. For the rich and important, maybe a mausoleum to
rival the likes of the Taj Mahal. For more casual folks, maybe
a sky burial instead. Typically a Tibetan Buddhist practice,
which believes our bodies are empty vessels after death, a
sky burial aims to dispose of our remains as generously as
possible. In an act that’s reminiscent of Mufasa’s “Circle of
Life” speech in Lion King, the body is left on a mountaintop
to decompose, eaten by scavenging animals.
Unfortunately, such practices take space, a commodity
that we have precious little of in modern society. This
explains the increasing popularity of cremation. The body is
incinerated in a 1000 degree furnace, and if no explosions
occur (due to untoward materials left in the body), the dry
remains are pulverised and the ashes are neatly packaged
and returned to the family to do with what they will. Done
and dusted.
Yet, there are more interesting ways to be kept
post-mortem than in an urn. Companies will send a portion
of your ashes, amongst others, into space where it can orbit
the Earth for a few months before burning up on re-entry
- all while being monitored on an app and livestreamed by
loved ones.
As for the rest, why destroy when you can create? Like
a literal phoenix you can be reborn as the nutrients for a
tree. Labs can personally extract carbon from your ashes to
grow a diamond or even graphite. As a pencil, you could be
the tools for the next Michelangelo... or you could be used
to do maths homework.
For the more scientifically inclined, science likes
you in both life and death. There is of course, organ donation
and donation to scientific research, but there are
body farms too. Newly opened and hidden in a secret
location in Sydney, researchers gather data on the effects
of the Australian climate on the decomposition process.
Entomologists observe the life cycles of insects to refine
time of death estimates, and forensic scientists try to
capture the odour of decay for police dogs to track. It’s not a
glamorous process by any means, but it is for science.
On the less gory side, science promotes self-love too.
You can see your body immortalised in all of its beauty
in the downward dog pose through plastination.The fat
and water in your system is replaced by plastics and the
preserved result neither smells nor decays. For a full-body
plastination, it takes 1000 to 1500 man-hours. If that’s not
flattering for the dead, I don’t know what is. Of course, the
goal is to educate the public about health and anatomy, but
a little after-death exhibitionism at a museum never hurt
anyone.
You might not choose to die, but you can definitely
choose what happens after you die.
40 | Lot’s Wife