WD200711ZA-sm.pdf

0 1 8 WIRED TEST
The Best
Obsolete
Technologies
Newfangled baubles come and go
quickly; today’s Blu-ray is tomorrow’s
VHS. Certain technologies long
ago left behind by fashion, however,
will always occupy a special place
in our geeky hearts. —MATHEW HONAN
Ditto machine
Not to be confused with a mimeograph, Ditto Inc.’s
spirit duplicator used ether and purple ink to reproduce
documents on a hand-cranked contraption. It
was a favorite of teachers everywhere, as well as
the millions of schoolkids who hoped for cheap highs
from its off-gassing freshly printed pages.
Flash powder
Typically made from magnesium and potassium
chlorate, flint-ignited flash powder helped photographers
illuminate their subjects. But it was of limited
use indoors—imagine the toxic puff of smoke—and
was eventually replaced by the electric flashbulb.
Still, for accidental explosions it couldn’t be beat.
Laser Disc
Predating even the compact disc, the album-sized
laser disc was the format of choice for everybody’s
favorite stoner uncle. His Star Wars “LD” wowed the
Walkman set for more than a decade before smaller,
all-digital DVDs sent the analog beasts to the curb.
Plate armor
The Greeks and Romans used metal plates as armor,
but full-body protection vanished in the early Middle
Ages and didn’t reappear until European knights
donned it in the 13th century. For the next 300 years, it
was the ultimate in personal security—until firearms
made it nothing more than a weighty encumbrance.
Punch cards
First used in the 18th century to control automatic
looms, machine-readable punch cards transformed
how we store data—freeing it from hand entry into
ledgers and, ultimately, from human input. Popularized
by the 1890 Census, punch cards held sway for
more than 100 years and gave rise to IBM.
Slide rule
The slide rule was once the proudest possession of
every engineer. With it, geeks of yore could perform
advanced mathematical equations lightning fast,
without the benefit of a scientific calculator. It has,
sadly, gone the way of the pocket protector.
Steam engine
Heron of Alexandria conceived of steam power in the
first century AD, yet not until 1765 was it made practical,
by James Watt. The internal-combustion engine
killed it, but watery-eyed nostalgia has given rise to
modern-day steampunks’ fanciful creations.
Stock ticker
Forget Larry Ellison and Mark Cuban. For the ultimate
in arrogant affluence, nobody could touch tycoons like
J. P. Morgan or Jay Gould. And for the newly minted
magnate, nothing said “robber baron” like an Edison
stock ticker in his wood-paneled library. The rapidly
scrolling data ribbons led to everything from tickertape
parades and teletypes to the Fox News crawl.
Sundial
Ancient Egyptians developed some of the first proper
sundials, whose use lasted into the modern era. The
Greeks refined the solar timekeeping devices, as did
the Romans, followed by medieval Muslims. The latter
used it to calculate prayer times and developed
the design that likely adorns your garden path today.
Telegraph
In 1844 Samuel Morse posed an open question STOP
.-- .... .- - / .... .- - .... / --. --- -.. / .-- .-. --- ..- --. .... - / STOP
Translation: What hath God wrought STOP Instant
communication, it turns out STOP Telegraph service
survived onslaughts from the telephone and fax
machine until Western Union cut the wire in 2006,
unable to compete with Internet messaging STOP
ILLUSTRATION BY Victor Koen