In association with <strong>Costa</strong> Cálida International Radio and www.angloINFO.com Self- centeredness is often described as “selfi shness”, but this is not always the case. To be self-centred, is to have the confi dence and assertiveness to express your thoughts and behaviour in ways that defi ne your personality and who you really are. Self-centredness has its dark side too, especially when the “me, me, me” syndrome goes into over-drive and noone or nothing else matters. This is when selfishness comes into play with sometimes devastating results. Hard though it may be, we sometimes have to take a step back and get a reality check especially if it is affecting our happiness, family and friends. I DON’T WANT TO LET MY DAUGHTER GO My daughter is returning to the UK soon to begin a University Degree. I am very proud of her achievements, but I am already feeling anxious as, when she goes, I will be constantly worried about whether she’s safe and if she’ll be able to cope without me to look after her. I have always been fi ercely protective of my daughter, which stems from her being very ill as a baby. I know I am being irrational, and that I need to give her the chance to take care of herself, but I can’t help panicking whenever she’s away. How do I let her go? – Barbara Barbara, the panic and worry you are experiencing is nothing more than “separation anxiety”, which is common in mother/child relationships. In your case, however, I think Page 84 there are two additional factors adding to your anxieties. Firstly, all parents worry about their children and this is natural, but parents of once sick children often carry with them the feeling that bad things may happen again if you let your guard down. You’ll have to work hard to tackle these intrusive thoughts because once she leaves home, she will not be immune to real life and its dramas, but she will be glad to know that you will always be there for her. Secondly, the other worrying factor is a possible “empty-nest” issue. The watershed of children going to university, getting married or even travelling alone, is a symbol that we become redundant as parents in its wake and are surplus to requirements. It can be a blow to our ego to recognise and accept that we are either not as wanted or as necessary as we believed. Think of it as part of the nurturing process for your daughter and also, yourself. As a mother, you need to feel loved and wanted, just like a child would and you are never too old to outgrow the need of being loved in return by someone, in this case, your daughter. Above all, acknowledge that this is your life too, and it is changing around you whether you like it or not. Instead of panicking, take this opportunity to explore new interests, hobbies and extend your social network. The fuller your life, the less time you will have to worry about your daughter. It is time to let her go and above all, she will love you more for it and leave for UK knowing that you will be there for her, should she ever need you. - Jennifer MY DISABLED BROTHER WORRIES MY MAN I’ve been dating a nice man for three years now and we have been talking about marriage, but there is something standing in our way. My younger brother Are freshly baked cakes and pastries your downfall? If so you must visit the new Pasteleria in Puerto de Mazarrón, in the square next to Supermarket “Upper”. There is an excellent range of delicious hand made b r e a d , cakes of all types, Dutch cakes and biscuits, all at surprisingly good prices. has Down’s syndrome and currently lives with my elderly parents. Eventually, he will become my responsibility which I have accepted for a long time. However, my boyfriend, who has little experience with special needs people, isn’t keen on the idea of my brother living with us someday. I don’t know what to do as I love both my brother and my boyfriend. - Gemma. Dear Gemma, Down’s syndrome children and adults provide both challenges and immense joy to their families. In fact, a major Spanish swimwear label has just signed up a little girl with Down’s syndrome to front their mega-bucks advertising campaign worldwide, which will be testament that special needs children and adults are just as capable of leading exciting, positive and fulfi lling lives - just like us. However, as you will assume responsibility for your brother someday, it is good that you are having a heart-to-heart with your boyfriend. The truth is that no-one knows what the future may hold and your boyfriend may have to share this responsibility with you sooner rather than later. Perhaps you could introduce him to other parents of special needs children, as a gentle introduction to assuming responsibility. It is nothing to be feared, but sometimes ignorance and negativity can infl uence and impair rational judgement. Don’t let this ruin your chance of happiness. If he is the right man for you, he’ll support you and accept your brother for the challenges and joy he will bring to your relationship. – Jennifer Jennifer Rahman is a qualifi ed and experienced life coach, NLP practitioner and Emotional Wellness Coach. If you would like her to answer your questions, please send an email to Jennifer at: jennifer@lifemaxxinternational.com. Confi dentiality is respected. You can order cakes for that special occasion and they can prepare a cake with an hour’s notice if necessary. For that special event such as birthdays, weddings, christenings etc, call and have a chat and the owners of the Pasteleria will help you decide exactly what is right for you. The Pasteleria is open from 9am until 3pm all through <strong>September</strong>. Give them a try! Please tell tell our customers where where you saw their advertisement in the the <strong>Costa</strong> Cálida <strong>Chronicle</strong> To place an advertisement with us please see page 4 or contact Teresa 619 199 407 www.costacalidachronicle.com email: costacalidachronicle@gmail.com
Please tell our customers where you saw their advertisement in the <strong>Costa</strong> Cálida <strong>Chronicle</strong> To place an advertisement with us please see page 4 or contact Teresa 619 199 407 www.costacalidachronicle.com email: costacalidachronicle@gmail.com Page 85 In association with <strong>Costa</strong> Cálida International Radio and www.angloINFO.com