Tim Seldin & Paul Epstein Ph.D. An Education for Life

(Right) Teaching Peace
The Peace Table plays an
important role in Montessori
classrooms. Two children
having a disagreement will
normally decide to retreat to
the Peace Table to solve their
problem. Sometimes, children
may not remember, and the
suggestion might come from the
teacher. When classmates
observe an ongoing disagreement,
somebody might bring
them a peace rose with the
reminder to solve their problem
at the Peace Table.
A GUIDED TOUR OF MONTESSORI CLASSROOMS — LESSONS IN GRACE, COURTESY & COMMUNITY SERVICE
Once arrived at the table, the
child who feels wronged places
her hand on the table, indicating
that she wants to have her
say without interruption. The
other hand she places on her
heart, indicating that she speaks the truth, from the heart. She then
looks the other in the eye, speaks her name, “Lisa,” and proceeds to
state how she feels, “Lisa, I feel very angry ...” and continues to state
why she feels that way, “ ... because you didn’t let me play with you
and Lily!” She states how she wants to resolve the conflict: “And I don’t
want you to do that ever again if you want to be my friend!” Now that
she has stated her case and opened the door for further discussion, she
withdraws her hand from the table and from her heart and gives Lisa
a chance to respond.
Lisa proceeds that same way. She places her hands on the table and
her heart, looks Eleanor in the eye, and responds:
“Eleanor, I feel unhappy that you are angry, I did not mean to hurt
your feelings. However, Lily is a good friend of mine also, and the
game we played can be played by only two participants. Had I been
playing it with you, nobody else could have joined us either. So, you
see, it’s just one of those things. I want to remain your friend.”
With that, Lisa is finished and withdraws her hands. Now it is
Eleanor’s turn to agree or disagree. In any case, they continue the dialogue
until they reach some kind of agreement, even if that means that
they disagree. At least they are talking, without yelling, screaming, and
blaming. They want to solve the problem. When they have reached an
agreement, they ring the bell to let the others know. In case they cannot
come to a positive conclusion, they may ask for a mediator. This
may be one of the older children, who has been trained to be
impartial and to listen well.
However, if the problem or conflict is too involved, then one of
them may ask for a “pow-wow.” During a “pow-wow,” the entire
class, or a large part of the class sits in a circle, listens to first
one, then the other person’s side of the story. The class members
contribute what they can, either as facts of what they have seen
or heard, as ethics (right and wrong), or in perspective to class
rules upon which all have agreed previously. It is wise for the
teacher to observe and monitor the entire process from the sidelines.
The core experience
the students
gain from these
procedures is that
it is necessary to
solve disturbances
honestly and with
good will to
maintain a harmonious
and
cooperative
atmosphere in the
community.
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