Information for Parents and Carers of Children with - Dundee City ...

• Risk of marital difficulties. There can be a lack of acceptance, understanding and
support from one partner and additional stresses on the care-giving parent, such as
sleep deprivation.
• Dealing with the effects on brothers and sisters. How they are feeling or coping with
difficulties? Other children may not understand why Mum and Dad spend more time with
the child with additional needs. Feelings of guilt, rebellion or rivalry are common.
• Concern about planning more children if the cause of the condition is not clear. Parents
are uncertain about whether it could happen again to the next child, and whether they
could cope if it did.
Professionals
Allow more time than usual for tasks to be done. Be patient with the parent and child.
Some physical disabilities mean that tasks take more time. For example, it takes much
more time to get in and out of the house and car. Or the child may need close
supervision for a simple task like putting on a coat.
Accept the parents’ honesty about the problems their child has and may face in the
future. Parents will not lie about their child’s disability, only present the facts as they
see/experience them.
Dealing With Denial
One of the most difficult things for parents to deal with is the denial of their child’s diagnosis
from family and friends. Worrying about how to deal with the reactions of their own relatives
and friends creates further pressures for the parents of a child with a disability.
There are ways of reacting that can create additional burdens for the parents who are
attempting to cope with the day-to-day reality of having a child with the additional needs.
Some of these are:
denying that the child has a problem (“Don’t worry, there is nothing wrong”)
trivialising the difficulty (“He will grow out of it with time”)
hoping for unrealistic cures (“It is amazing what doctors can do these days”)
Try to sense what stage the parents are at and help them along at this pace. You may want
to more fully understand the child’s strengths and needs. If you feel your relationship with
the parents is very close, you may consider asking the parents if you can go with them to a
session with therapists or a medical practitioner.
Information Pack – Children’s Services 10