Community Life Magazine March13

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RELATIONSHIPS Dealing with the loss of a parent Buddhism has a maxim, “we are alive therefore we will die”. This is a simple and obvious truth of existence but one which we struggle to come to terms with. Death and dying are often a big taboo in families, who would readily discuss other life changing experiences. There is the natural expectation that parents will die before their children but nothing really prepares adult children for the loss of this relationship. When parents die we have to face a changed reality. The people who have brought us into this world and have known us for all our life are no longer there, so what is our place in this family when we become elders, who do we look to for support? Adults who have lost a parent will often talk of the intense loneliness they feel and some describe themselves as “orphans”, remembering the feelings and fears of early childhood. Moving On The death of an older person is not often recognised as having the impact that the loss of a young life has, and there may be the expectation from friends and colleagues that the bereaved person should move on more quickly that they feel able. In the face of death and loss many people struggle to find words to support the bereaved person and can avoid contact or steer conversation away from emotionally difficult areas. This can be confusing and hurtful and, even if words are hard to find or clumsily expressed, it is so much better to acknowledge loss than to ignore it. Understanding and accepting death takes time, even when decline and illness have been present for some time. Ceremony and ritual is common in all societies to mark the passage from life to death. Mourning is a process that allows the expression of loss and grief, brings families and communities together to share their experience of sadness. There are as many different ways of mourning and most are determined by cultural, religious and family customs and expectations. There is a human need to make meaning of the loss and acknowledge the relationship which has now ended. In our increasingly secular culture it seems harder for people to find meaning or solace in religious ritual, and there has been a move away from funeral rites that grieve loss, to ceremony to celebrate the life of the deceased. Both have their place and both can have elements of mourning but there is a risk of holding sorrow at bay by focusing on life and not on death. Celebration of life may be a more reflective experience, which needs time, whereas grief is present, vivid and needs expression. If religious or community rites feel uncomfortable it is possible to find a meaningful was to grieve; make your own way, find the family sound for grief–whether this is words, songs, pictures, meals, plants – whatever works. There is no shame in sorrow, it is natural and necessary. Milestones As time passes there may be sorrow for family milestones that will be missed: new births, weddings and celebrations, as well as personal family meaningsspring bulbs growing, summer light, whatever it may be. There may be sorrow for things that have been said or done and of those been unsaid ; for the questions left unasked. Death rarely comes neatly with all the loose end tied up. Death resonates with to all the most profound human experiences we have; a bit messy, confusing and full of emotion. The death of a parent leaves a legacy as well as a template for how we might move forward. Can we help? 01234 356350 www.relatebedsandluton.org.uk to find out more appointments@relatebedsandluton.org.uk 26 Please mention <strong>Community</strong> <strong>Life</strong> when responding to adverts
A warm welcome awaits you This lovely Victorian Guest House is located on a tranquil tree lined avenue next door to Bedford School and only a 5 minute walk to Bedford’s vibrant town centre or Bedford Park. The location of this attractive accommodation is well suited for business and leisure travellers as well as family members visiting students at the nearby schools and colleges. This very comfortable guest house has been a popular fixture in Bedford, England for 15 years. For your comfort Tariff: and pleasure all guest rooms Single: have £30.00 been remodelled and Single redecorated en-suite: £40.00 in 2008. Double/ Twin: £50.00 Tariff: Single: Double/Twin £29 ~ with en-suite: en-suite £60.00 £35 Double/Twin: Triple en-suite: £45 ~ with £75.00 en-suite £55 Family Triple: room with [x4] en-suite en-suite: £70 £80.00 Discounted Family: Weekly with en-suite Rates £75 Available Check In: in: 2.00pm 2:00pm Check Out: out: 10.30oam 10:30am All major cards Accepted Telephone Available Freeview TV Totally non-smoking En-suites available Wash Basins Period Features Down Duvets Ground Floor Rooms Complimentary WiFi 01234 353844 www.bedfordbedandbreakfast.com mervynpoulter@lineone.net 24 De Parys Avenue, Bedford. MK40 TW To advertise please call 01234 310521 or email: teresa@communitylifemag.co.uk 27
Page 1 and 2: Issue: 07 - March 2013 ...it’s al
Page 3 and 4: Editor Teresa Brooks T: 01234 31052
Page 5 and 6: DOG TRAINING Dog and Puppy Behaviou
Page 7 and 8: F or LOCAL HISTORY Panacea Museum o
Page 9 and 10: WELLBEING Osteopathy & Pregnancy ..
Page 11 and 12: G olfer’s elbow is similar to its
Page 13 and 14: Care and Support in your own Home C
Page 15 and 16: To advertise please call 01234 3105
Page 17 and 18: To advertise please call 01234 3105
Page 19 and 20: The Saturday Volunteers What it mea
Page 21 and 22: ....when it all becomes too much To
Page 23 and 24: L ow Cost Bills are cost reduction
Page 25: B eing creative has always been a p
Page 29 and 30: The legendary bike ride returns as
Page 31 and 32: A DAY IN THE LIFE ... Born and bred
Page 33 and 34: Take Me Home RABBBITS Rabbits: Whet
Page 35 and 36: Mini Ads & Services A1 CARS 01234 3

Community Life Magazine March13

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