August 2008 - the Parklander

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GOOD ADVICE PLAN A SUCCESSFUL SCHOOL YEAR FOR YOUR CHILD Success takes planning. Remember, if you continue to do things the same way, you will likely get the same results. Providing your child with an opportunity to participate in a collaborative problem solving approach will arm them with a skill which will promote happiness and success in their future life both in and out of school. That’s what parenting is all about….. By Dr. Renae Lapin This is traditionally the time when both parents and children are anticipating the beginning of the next school year – or dreading it! The morning routines, the homework, the studying, the tests, the projects, the assignment book, the book bag are all in waiting. The teachers and administrators are preparing too! The last thing anyone has an interest in doing is thinking back to the last school year – but don’t skip this important step! Evaluating the success of the last school year is the first step in successfully preparing for the new school year. Families need to evaluate how successful their children’s past school year was in order to make good decisions about the coming year. Children need to be part of this evaluation process in order to be committed to the changes needed to improve this next school year. But…how do parents engage their children in such a discussion about the past when both parents and children just want to move forward?? The answer is good planning. First, plan a time, place, and activity that would promote this discussion. Let your child know ahead of time about the plan. Explain that this will not be a lecture but that you are very interested in their thoughts and feelings about their past school year. You can base school success upon: • school behavior - were there frequent referrals, detentions, suspensions, phone calls home? • school grades - how were the report cards, interim reports and progress reports? • attendance – did your child attend school on time daily? • completion of class work, homework and projects – as scheduled? • organization skills - did your child hand in all homework assignments after completing them or were completed assignments lost before ever getting to the teacher? Were all assignments properly recorded in their agenda as is the routine at most schools? • a positive attitude - did your child enjoy anything about school? 124 AUGUST 2008 • ability to solve any school related problems – did any problems arise during the school year which your child resolved? • social skills – did your child make and keep friends as well as avoid being the victim of bullies or making enemies? Second, prepare a list of open-ended questions about the school year for your child. For example: How did you think our morning routine was last year? The afternoon routine? The homework routine? How well do you think you organized your time? Your space and school materials? How about lunches at school? What did you think about the rules and routines we established for last school year? What worked out well? What worked out the best? What was the most difficult issue for you during the school year? Did you make new friends? Did you solve any difficulties? – with or without help? What was the most fun thing you did during the last school year? Third, ask your child the questions you’ve prepared. Make sure to ask your questions in a neutral and non-judgmental tone. Listen carefully and with an open mind for your child’s thoughts and feelings – take notes on their responses so your child knows you are hearing them and taking them seriously. Do not lecture or try to solve the problems during this meeting. Your role as a parent and moderator of this meeting is to encourage your child to consider their thoughts, explore their feelings and feel safe to share their thoughts and feelings with you. Fourth, share your opinions with your child: What is your opinion – were the routines and rules effective in promoting a successful school year? Take turns sharing your opinions about the strengths, struggles and roadblocks you encountered as individuals and as a family, which affected the success of your child’s school year. A roadblock is something neither of you had any control over such as a change in school boundaries, a school bus arriving late, an earlier start time for high school than for middle school, a family member having an extended illness, loss of a job, auto accident, etc. Struggles are personal issues such as getting up on time, keeping organized, making new friends,
esisting peer pressure or learning a foreign language. Strengths might be good citizenship, excellent attendance, skilled in sports, music, art, or the ability to maintain a positive attitude. While sharing your thoughts, demonstrate an attitude of interest and curiosity, not judgment or sarcasm. This means you will need to carefully select the time when both you and your child will be at your best. Keep the meeting short; strive for 10 to 20 minutes for elementary school aged children, no more than 40 minutes for middle school aged children, and up to an hour for high school aged children. Have a fun family activity planned following the discussion so your child feels secure in your acceptance of her feelings and any opinions she may have shared with you. A bike ride, a trip to the park, a swim, an ice cream, or watching a movie together can assure your child and help her to know that you accept her thoughts and feelings. Fifth, thank your child for his or her time, attention and willingness to participate in a process that will promote change for a more successful school year. Let your child know that another discussion will take place during the next week to set goals to have a better school year. Ask your child to take some time to think about his ideas for improvement. Research has proven that the best decisions and ideas are conceived when a break is taken from thinking about them. Focus your attention on something different. If your child is attending summer school or tutoring, make sure to include recreation and breaks from the usual full school year routine. That goes for you too! Do not be quick to announce a new rule or develop a new plan. Let your ideas develop before prematurely setting up a new plan, which may not promote a successful school year. Sixth and last – meet again to formulate workable goals for improving the school year and school routines. Strive for improvement, not perfection! Plan on regular meetings to continue to evaluate the progress toward the goals and develop ideas for further improvement. Seek assistance from your child’s teacher or school Guidance Counselor for ideas in promoting school success. Success takes planning. Remember, if you continue to do things the same way, you will likely get the same results. Providing your child with an opportunity to participate in a collaborative problem solving approach will arm them with a skill which will promote happiness and success in their future life both in and out of school. That’s what parenting is all about…. Enjoy the rest of the summer and remember to have fun with your children! Dr. Renae Lapin, LMFT is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist providing free counseling services to children and families with the Broward County School Board’s Family Counseling Program. She is also the author of a new book School Days and the Divorce Maze: A Complete Guide for Joint Custody Parents in Managing Your Child’s Successful School Career. Email her at Lapin@theparklander.com. the PARKLANDER "PREPARING STUDENTS FOR LIFE, NOT JUST THE NEXT GRADE" NOW ENROLLING FOR THE 2008-2009 SCHOOL YEAR Open to K - 12th Grade Accomodations for Students with Learning Disabilities, ADHD, Aspergers SACS/CITA Accredited Attention Attention Parents! Parents! Indoor Indoor Swim Swim Lessons Lessons with with 2 Guarantees! Guarantees! 1. Your Your child child will will have have fun fun learning learning to swim swim 2. You You will will have have peace peace of mind mind about about their their water water safety safety BIRTHDAY SPLASH PARTY - NO RAIN OUT ! Newly renovated indoor heated pool 744 Riverside Drive 954-509-0089 Serving Parkland and Coral Springs WE OFFER: • Multi-modal teaching strategies • Fully computerized classroom technology • A safe & secure environment • After school program • Focused instruction in Reading, Language Arts & Math • 10-week summer camp & summer school • Experienced, caring and nurturing staff & teachers • Low student to teacher classroom ratio Atlantis Academy is approved for the McKay Scholarship An Educational Services of America School 10193 NW 31S T STREET • CORAL SPRINGS • 954.752.7571 125
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THE FAMILY FRIENDLY MAGAZINE SINCE
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Dance Theatre of Broward 4911 SW 14
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Back to School and Events Around To
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Wiley Thompson (DEM) The next Sheri
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CAMERA CLICKS Choosing a Photograph
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Cosmetic and General Dermatology Ag
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Jackie Mazin, a Corporate Event Pla
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Costa Rica Rainforest Honeymoons! O
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FOR YOUR WEDDING YOUR DREAM LOCATIO
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FOR YOUR WEDDING Rock Her World By
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Very Vera These patterned fabric ba
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FASHION TIPS EEvery fashionista kno
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license #B-223
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Augusto Neves Painting, Corp Interi
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FOR SAFETY’S SAKE For summertime
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www.ParklandTwins.com Maria Mulliga
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Our standards are praised around th
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COMMUNITY NEWS Red Dress Dress High
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HOME DESIGN By David Font, RLA In S
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• New Pool & Spa Construction •
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OUTDOORS Donated Venison Feeds the
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OUTDOORS On Datura Avenue one block
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GARDENING CREATING A Wildlife Habit
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GOING GREEN By Debbie Wolff As the
Page 77 and 78: from 1968 is a dark melody. Keith R
Page 80 and 81: TRAVEL INFORMATION Kusadasi, Turkey
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Page 84 and 85: ARTS&ENTERTAINMENT Iron Works Art D
Page 86 and 87: COMMUNITY NEWS continued from page
Page 88: Lunch Hours: Mon.-Fri. 11:30-2:30pm
Page 91 and 92: 1/4 Chicken, Rice & Beans 5With pur
Page 93 and 94: The Cold Antipasto ($13.00 per pers
Page 95 and 96: Engagement Party SHRIMP FILLED CUCU
Page 97 and 98: Vitamins • Supplements Health Foo
Page 99 and 100: 1 1. Nicholas Vaccarezza, age 8, re
Page 101 and 102: the PARKLANDER ADVERTORIAL 99
Page 104 and 105: • Basic Residential Monitoring St
Page 106 and 107: Plastic Surgery • Facial Surgery,
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Page 110 and 111: COMMUNITY NEWS By Bill Johnson E“
Page 112 and 113: 110 AUGUST 2008 Need A Rabbi? Rabbi
Page 114 and 115: PET TALK By Glenn Kalick, DVM Havin
Page 118 and 119: Parkland Library Events for August
Page 120 and 121: SCHOOL NEWS Westglades Middle Schoo
Page 122 and 123: TAKE A RIDE WITH TEEN C A R C L U B
Page 124 and 125: By Cheryl Pangborn With the kids at
Page 128 and 129: SPORTS By Michael Rares The all-new
Page 130 and 131: NEIGHBORHOOD INTEREST The Coral Spr
Page 132 and 133: RELIGION AND HUMANITIES Marriage: F
Page 134 and 135: FOR YOUR INFORMATION WIND MITIGATIO
Page 136 and 137: COMMUNITY NEWScontinued from page 1
Page 138 and 139: Open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
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