A Review of the Literature on Three Types of Disenfranchised Grief ...

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Ano<strong>the</strong>r important aspect <strong>of</strong> grandparent bereavement is altered belief systems. Ponzetti (1992) pointed out that grandparents expect to predecease <strong>the</strong>ir grandchildren even more than parents expect to predecease <strong>the</strong>ir children. Therefore, it is to be expected that feelings <strong>of</strong> disbelief, anger, and shock over <strong>the</strong> untimeliness <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> death will be particularly intense in grandparents. Grandparents also reported agonizing over <strong>the</strong> unfairness <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> premature death and experiencing both a strong sense <strong>of</strong> guilt and a shattered sense <strong>of</strong> order due <strong>the</strong> fact that <strong>the</strong>y are alive while <strong>the</strong>ir grandchild is not (Fry, 1997). The griever's religious beliefs may also be affected by <strong>the</strong> loss. In a study conducted by De Frain et al. (1991) 46% <strong>of</strong> participants said that <strong>the</strong>ir beliefs were streng<strong>the</strong>ned as a result <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> bereavement experience while 5% said <strong>the</strong>ir beliefs had weakened. In ano<strong>the</strong>r study 9% <strong>of</strong> grandparents reported that <strong>the</strong>ir religious faith was weakened by <strong>the</strong> loss <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong>ir grandchild (Ponzetti & Johnson, 1991). All <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong>se findings serve as evidence that grandparents do in fact grieve and that <strong>the</strong>ir grief is intense. Evidence <strong>of</strong> Disenfranchisement The grief <strong>of</strong> bereaved grandparents is frequently disenfranchised. This instance <strong>of</strong> disenfranchisement falls into Doka's (2002) first category- <strong>the</strong> grief experience is disenfranchised because <strong>the</strong> relationship is not recognized as being socially significant. The grandparent-grandchild relationship is not valued or recognized, primarily because <strong>the</strong> relationship falls outside <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> immediate family unit. Grandparent Support <strong>of</strong> Adult Child and Surviving Siblings. Much <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> scholarly literature suggests that bereaved grandparents are involved in actively supporting <strong>the</strong>ir grieving adult child (Fry, 1997; Nichols, 1989; White et ai., 2008). Fry (1997) found that following <strong>the</strong> death, grandparents felt a strong responsibility to parent <strong>the</strong>ir adult child, and that grandparents 16
were generally willing to set aside <strong>the</strong>ir own grief in order to support <strong>the</strong>ir adult child. In exploring <strong>the</strong> exchange <strong>of</strong> intergenerational support, White et al. (2008) found that following a child's death, much more support was provided to <strong>the</strong> adult child by <strong>the</strong> grandparent than vice versa. However, intergenerational relationships were described by both parents and grandparents as being extremely important in helping to cope with <strong>the</strong> loss. Galinsky (2001) found that following <strong>the</strong> child's death, grandparents <strong>of</strong>ten took on many <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> daily household and parenting responsibilities which meant extra challenges and demands at a time when <strong>the</strong>y were already struggling with <strong>the</strong>ir own intense grief. That grandparents are expected to keep <strong>the</strong>ir own emotions in check so that <strong>the</strong>y can focus on <strong>the</strong> needs <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong>ir bereaved family members suggests that grandparents are not defined or recognized as being legitimate grievers. This social definition is so deeply engrained that it seems to have been internalized by bereaved grandparents <strong>the</strong>mselves; <strong>the</strong>y are <strong>of</strong>ten determined to ignore or minimize <strong>the</strong>ir own grief in order to focus solely on <strong>the</strong> grief <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong>ir bereaved family members. Galinsky (2001) wrote about a bereaved grandmo<strong>the</strong>r who, on <strong>the</strong> day <strong>of</strong> her grandchild's funeral, said that she "wanted to be so strong for [her] daughter on this day" and was ashamed <strong>of</strong> herself for being unable to control her emotions (p. 4). Fur<strong>the</strong>rmore, grandparents <strong>of</strong>ten feel uncomfortable sharing <strong>the</strong>ir grief with o<strong>the</strong>rs, and when <strong>the</strong>ir pain does not pass quickly, experience shame and guilt over <strong>the</strong>ir continued grief. Lack <strong>of</strong> Recognition and Acknowledgment. The bereavement experience <strong>of</strong> grandparents who have lost a grandchild is an area that has received limited attention in <strong>the</strong> scholarly literature. Inquiries <strong>of</strong> bereavement, mourning, and grief tend to focus more on parents and siblings than intergenerational relatives (Galinsky, 2001). This lack <strong>of</strong> scholarly attention is indicative <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> general lack <strong>of</strong> acknowledgment <strong>of</strong> grandparent grief and <strong>the</strong> absence <strong>of</strong> 17
Page 2 and 3: Author: Davidson, Hannah M. The Gra
Page 4 and 5: The Graduate School University <str
Page 6 and 7: Chapter I: Introduction There are c
Page 8 and 9: 2. Loss not acknowledged: losses ar
Page 10 and 11: among the emotions
Page 12 and 13: disenfranchised grief situation fal
Page 14 and 15: Introduction to Grandparent Grief C
Page 18 and 19: socially defined roles, rituals, an
Page 20 and 21: coined, Gyulay seemed to have recog
Page 22 and 23: contribute to feelings of</
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Page 40 and 41: References Aloi, 1.A. (2009). Nursi
Page 42 and 43: Hyrkas, K., Kaunonen, M., & Paunone

A Review of the Literature on Three Types of Disenfranchised Grief ...

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