A Review of the Literature on Three Types of Disenfranchised Grief ...

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Doka (1986) found that <strong>the</strong> most common emotions experienced by <strong>the</strong> bereaved ex spouses in his study were intense guilt and regret, as well as continued thoughts about what might have been. Scott (2000) found that her participants experienced physical and emotional symptoms similar to those reported by widows and widowers. Common physical symptoms included fatigue, sleeplessness, nervousness, and stomach problems, and common emotional symptoms included tearfulness, depression, relief, loneliness, guilt, anxiety, and sense <strong>of</strong> disbelief. In addition, 35% <strong>of</strong> Scott's participants reported increased use <strong>of</strong> drugs and alcohol in <strong>the</strong> first year following <strong>the</strong> death. Doka (1986) concluded that <strong>the</strong> level <strong>of</strong> grief experienced by a surviving ex-spouse is affected by a variety <strong>of</strong> complex factors. The circumstances <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> couple's divorce (i.e. whe<strong>the</strong>r <strong>the</strong> decision was mutual, whe<strong>the</strong>r it was a "friendly" divorce), <strong>the</strong> age <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> spouses at time <strong>of</strong> divorce and death, <strong>the</strong> quality and nature <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> relationship with <strong>the</strong> former spouse, circumstances <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> death, quality <strong>of</strong> relationship with any new spouses, <strong>the</strong> presence <strong>of</strong> children, and degree <strong>of</strong> resolution <strong>of</strong> earlier divorce grief all have an impact on <strong>the</strong> survivor's grief. Scott (2000) found that <strong>the</strong> level <strong>of</strong> grief is also affected by <strong>the</strong> amount <strong>of</strong> time since <strong>the</strong> divorce. She observed that <strong>the</strong> least amount <strong>of</strong> time was associated with <strong>the</strong> most extreme grief, which she concluded is because <strong>the</strong> former spouses had less time to resolve complex emotional issues associated with <strong>the</strong>ir separation. The most commonly cited reasons for <strong>the</strong> grief reaction <strong>of</strong> ex-spouses were "realization <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> finality <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> loss <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> relationship", "continued affection or love for <strong>the</strong> deceased", "unresolved emotional conflicts", "unresolved anger", "residual guilt" and "unresolved financial problems" (Scott, 2000, p. 212). A female participant in Doka's 1986 study described her feelings about <strong>the</strong> death in this way: "I felt devastated-I never really stopped loving him. I felt 30
guilty-guilty about <strong>the</strong> divorce, <strong>the</strong> death. Maybe he would still be alive if I hadn't thrown him out" (p. 444). Grief over <strong>the</strong> death <strong>of</strong> a fonner spouse is very common but appears to be generally less severe than grief over o<strong>the</strong>r significant losses. Scott (2000) asserted that this is likely because <strong>the</strong> person has already had a chance to begin grieving <strong>the</strong> loss <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> relationship. Because surviving ex-spouses <strong>of</strong>ten feel insecure and confused by <strong>the</strong>ir conflicting emotions, it is important for <strong>the</strong>m to be assured that <strong>the</strong>ir reaction is normal considering <strong>the</strong>y have lost a very significant person in <strong>the</strong>ir life history (Scott, 2000). Evidence <strong>of</strong> Disenfranchisement The grief <strong>of</strong> bereaved ex-spouses is frequently disenfranchised. This instance <strong>of</strong> disenfranchisement falls into Doka's (2002) first category- <strong>the</strong> grief experience is disenfranchised because <strong>the</strong> relationship is not recognized as being socially signifi,cant. The reason <strong>the</strong> relationship between former spouses is not valued or recognized is because <strong>the</strong> decision to divorce is more or less voluntary, and because ex-spouses are no longer a part <strong>of</strong> one ano<strong>the</strong>r's immediate family. As is true with o<strong>the</strong>r types <strong>of</strong> losses, more than one <strong>of</strong> Doka's (2002) five typologies <strong>of</strong> disenfranchised grief may apply to bereaved ex-spouses. On a general level, <strong>the</strong> grief <strong>of</strong> ex spouses is disenfranchised because <strong>the</strong> significance <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> relationship is not recognized. However it is also possible for o<strong>the</strong>r sources <strong>of</strong> disenfranchisement to exist as well. For example, if <strong>the</strong> deceased ex-spouse was murdered or committed suicide (circumstances <strong>of</strong> death), if <strong>the</strong> surviving ex-spouse is mentally ill (griever excluded), or if <strong>the</strong> surviving ex-spouse grieves in ways deemed socially unacceptable (ways individuals grieve). 31
Page 2 and 3: Author: Davidson, Hannah M. The Gra
Page 4 and 5: The Graduate School University <str
Page 6 and 7: Chapter I: Introduction There are c
Page 8 and 9: 2. Loss not acknowledged: losses ar
Page 10 and 11: among the emotions
Page 12 and 13: disenfranchised grief situation fal
Page 14 and 15: Introduction to Grandparent Grief C
Page 16 and 17: Another important
Page 18 and 19: socially defined roles, rituals, an
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Page 22 and 23: contribute to feelings of</
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Page 28 and 29: Introduction to Grief of</s
Page 32 and 33: Many bereaved ex-spouses repOli fee
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Page 36 and 37: McRoy, Grotevant, & Bryant, 1997).
Page 38 and 39: papers like Aloi's, as well as empi
Page 40 and 41: References Aloi, 1.A. (2009). Nursi
Page 42 and 43: Hyrkas, K., Kaunonen, M., & Paunone

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