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21B WILLIAM CONGREVE [ACT 11<br />
candle and your tobacco-box and your urinal by you, and<br />
now and then rub the soles of your feet?—O Lord, I?—<br />
Aug. Yes, I saw you together, through the keyhole of the<br />
closet, one night, like Saul and the witch of Endor, turning<br />
the sieve and shears, and pricking your thumbs to write<br />
poor innocent servants' names in blood, about a little nutmeg-grater,<br />
which she had forgot in the caudle-cup.—Nay, I<br />
know something worse, if I would speak of it.<br />
Fore. I defy you, hussy I but I'll remember this, I'll be<br />
revenged on you, cockatrice; I'll hamper you.—You have<br />
your fortune in your own hands,—but I'll find a way to<br />
make your lover, your prodigal spendthrift gallant, Valentine,<br />
pay for all, I will.<br />
Ang. Will you? I care not but all shall out then.—<br />
Look to't, nurse; I can bring witness that you have a great<br />
unnatural teat under your left arm, and he another; and<br />
that you suckle a young devil in the shape of a tabbycat,<br />
by turns, I can.<br />
Nurse. A teat! a teat! I an unnatural teat! O the false,<br />
slanderous thing; feel, feel here, if I have anything but like<br />
another Christian. [ Crying.<br />
Fore. I will have patience, since it is the will of the stars<br />
I should be thus tormented.—This is the effect of the<br />
malicious conjunctions and oppositions in the third house of<br />
my nativity; there the curse of kindred was foretold.—But<br />
I will have my doors locked up—I'll punish you, not a man<br />
shall enter my house.<br />
Ang. Do, uncle, lock 'em up quickly before my aunt<br />
comes home;—you'll have a letter for alimony to-morrow<br />
morning,—but let me begone first, and then let no mankind<br />
come near the house, but converse with spirits and<br />
the celestial signs, the Bull, and the Ram, and the Goat.<br />
Bless me! there arc a great many horned beasts among the<br />
Twelve Signs, uncle;—but cuckolds go to Heaven.<br />
Fore. But there's but one virgin among the twelve signs,<br />
spitfire, but one virgin.<br />
Ang. Nor there had not been that one, if she had had to<br />
do with anything but astrologers, uncle. That makes my<br />
aunt go abroad.<br />
Fore. How? how? is that the reason? Come, you know<br />
something: tell me and I'll forgive you; do, good niece.—<br />
Come, you shall have my coach and horses;—faith and troth<br />
you shall.—Docs my wife complain? come, I know women
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