Untitled - OUDL Home

SCENE vi] THE OLD BACHELOR 91
Fond. Good man! I warrant he dropped it on purpose,
that you might take it up and read some of the pious
ejaculations.—[Taking up the book.] D bless me! O monstrous!
A prayer-book! Ay, this is the devil's pater-noster:
hold, let me see, "The Innocent Adultery."
Lœt. [Aside.] Misfortune, now all's ruined again.
Bell. [Peeping.] Damned chance! if I had gone a-whoring
with "The Practice of Piety" in my pocket, I had never been
discovered.
Fond. Adultery, and innocent! O Lord! here's doctrine!
ay, here's discipline!
Lcct. Dear husband, I'm amazed.—Sure it is a good
book, and only tends to the speculation of sin.
Fond. Speculation! no, no; something went farther than
speculation when I was not to be let in.—Where is this
apocryphal elder? I'll ferret him. {Exit.
Lœt. [Aside.] I'm so distracted, I can't think of a lie.
Re-enter FONDLEWIFE, haling out BELLMDUR.
Fond. Come out here, thou Ananias incarnate! Who,—
how now,—who have we here?
Lœt. Ha! [Shrieks, as though surprised.
Fond. Oh, thou salacious woman! am I then brutified?
Ay, I feel it here; I sprout! I bud! I blossom I I am ripehorn-mad!—But
who, in the devil's name, are you? mercy
on me for swearing! But—
L