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50 WILLIAM CONGREVE [ACT 1
Sharp. He has need of such an excuse, considering the
present state of his body.
Heart. How d'ye mean?
Sharp. Why, if whoring be purging (as you call it), then,
I may say, marriage is entering into a course of physic.
Bell. How, George, does the wind blow there?
Heart. It will as soon blow north and by south.—Marry,
quotha! I hope, in Heaven, I have a greater portion of grace,
and I think I have baited too many of those traps to be
caught in one myself.
Bell. Who the devil would have thee? unless 'twere an
oyster-woman, to propagate young fry for Billingsgate:—thy
talent will never recommend thee to anything of better
quality.
Heart. My talent is chiefly that of speaking truth, which
I don't expect should ever recommend me to people of
quality. I thank heaven, T have very honestly purchased the
hatred of all the great families in town.
Sharp. And you, in return of spleen, hate them. Rut
could you hope to be received into the alliance of a noble
family—
Heart. No, I hope I shall never merit that affliction—to
be punished with a wife of birth—be a stag of the first head,
and bear my horns aloft, like one of the supporters of my
wife's coat. 'Sdeath, I would not be a cuckold to e'er an
illustrious whore in England!
Bell. What, not to make your family, man! and provide
for your children?
Sharp. For her children, you mean.
Heart. Ay, there you've nicked it—there's the devil upon
devil.—D the pride and joy of heart 'twould be to me, to
have my son and heir resemble such a duke!—to have a
fleering coxcomb scoff and cry, Mr., your son's mighty like
his Grace, has just his smile and air ofs face. Then replies
another, Methinks he has more of the Marquis of such a
place about his nose and eyes, though he has my Lord
What-d'ye-call's mouth to a tittle,—Then I, to put it off as
unconcerned, come chuck the infant under the chin, force
a smile, and cry, Av, the bov takes after his mother's
relations: when the devil and she knows, 'tis a little compound
of the who'e body of nobility.
Bell and Sharp. Ha! ha! ha!
Bell. Well, but, George, I have one question to ask you—