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SCENE vi] THE OLD BACHELOR 93<br />
go back of your word, you arc not the person I took you<br />
for: come, come, go on boldly.—What, don't be ashamed<br />
of your profession!—Confess, confess, I shall love thee the<br />
better for't—I shall, i'feck!—What, dost think I don't know<br />
how to behave myself in the employment of a cuckold, and<br />
have been three years apprentice to matrimony? come,<br />
come, plain-dealing is a jewel.<br />
Bell. Well, since I see thou art a good honest fellow,<br />
I'll confess the whole matter to thee.<br />
Fond. Oh, I am a very honest fellow!—you never lay<br />
with an honester man's wife in your life.<br />
Lcet. [Aside.] How my heart aches! All my comfort lies<br />
in his impudence, and, Heaven be praised, he has a considerable<br />
portion.<br />
Bell. In short then, I was informed of the opportunity<br />
of your absence by my spy (for faith, honest Isaac, I have<br />
a long time designed thee this favour): I knew Spintext<br />
was to come by your direction.—But I laid a trap for him,<br />
and procured his habiL; in which I passed upon your servants,<br />
and was conducted hither. I pretended a fit of the<br />
colic to excuse my lying down upon your bed; hoping that<br />
when she heard of it her good-nature would bring her to<br />
administer remedies for my distemper.—You know what<br />
might have followed.—But like an uncivil person, you<br />
knocked at the door before your wife was come to me.<br />
Fond. Ha, this is apocryphal! I may choose whether I<br />
will believe it or no.<br />
Bell. That you may, faith, and I hope you won't believe<br />
a word on't; but I can't help telling the truth, for my life.<br />
Fond. How! would not you have me believe you, say<br />
you?<br />
Bell. No; for then you must of consequence part with<br />
your wife, and there will be some hopes of having her<br />
upon the public; then the encouragement of a separate<br />
maintenance—<br />
Fond. No, no; for that matter, when she and I part,<br />
she'll carry her separate maintenance about her.<br />
Lest. Ah, cruel dear, how can you be so barbarous?<br />
You'll break my heart if you talk of parting. [Cries.<br />
Fond. Ah, dissembling vermin!<br />
Bell. How canst thou be so cruel, Isaae? thou hast the<br />
heart of a mountain-tiger. By the faith of a sincere sinner,
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