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SCENE i] THE OLD BACHELOR 57
Sharp. Not I really, sir.
Bluffe. Dh, I thought so.—Why, then, you can know
nothing, sir; I am afraid you scarce know the history of the
late war in Flanders, with all its particulars.
Sharp. Not I, sir, no more than public letters or gazettes
tell us.
Bluff e. Gazette! why there again now—why, sir, there
are not three words of truth the year round put into the
gazette—I'll tell you a strange thing now as to that.—You
must know, sir, I was resident in Flanders the last campaign,
3 had a small post there, but no matter for that. Perhaps,
sir, there was scarce anything of moment done but an
humble servant of yours, that shall be nameless, was an eyewitness
of—I won't say had the greatest share in't; though I
might say that too, since I name nobody, you know.—Well,
Mr. Sharper, would you think it? in all this time, as I hope
for a truncheon, this rascally gazette-writer never so much as
once mentioned me—not once, by the wars!—took no more
notice than as if Nol Bluffe had not been in the land of the
living!
Sharp. Strange!
Sir Jo. Yet, by the Lord Harry, 'tis true, Mr. Sharper, for
I went every day to coffee-houses to read the gazette myself.
Bluffe. Ay, ay, no matter.—You see, Mr. Sharper, I am
content to retire—live a private person—Scipio and others
have done it.
Sharp. Impudent rogue! [Aside.
Sir Jo. Ay, this damned modesty of yours—egad, if he
would put in for't he might be made general himself yet.
Bluffe. O fy, no, Sir Joseph!—you know I hate this.
Sir Jo. Let me but tell Mr. Sharper a little, how you eat
fire once out of the mouth of a cannon.—Egad he did; those
impenetrable whiskers of his have confronted flames.
Bluffe. Death, what do you mean, Sir Joseph?
Sir Jo. Look you now, I tell you he's so modest he'll own
nothing.
Bluffe. Pish! you have put me out, I have forgot what I
was about. Pray hold your tongue, and give me leave.
[Angrily.
Sir Jo. I am dumb.
3 The year before the production of this play, Namur had fallen into the handi
of Lewis, and the French victuries in the Netherlands were watched with grave
interest by all Englishmen, who for the first time in the history of their country
for many centuries, were personally engaged in a foreign campaign.