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ather than obstinately trying to bend their own unbendable
arms, they have simply learned to feed each other…
This is, truly, the only difference between Heaven and
Hell…do we stubbornly fight the will of God? Do we wrestle
unsuccessfully each day with situations that cannot be
changed? Do we flail around, wildly and desperately, trying
to change the unchangeable? Do we ignore our loved
ones, our friends, our colleagues who could help us immeasurably?
Do we insist on suffering in silence, never asking
for a helping hand from those near us? Do we watch
others suffering and withhold our own help because we
are so caught up in our own distress? If so, then we are
living in Hell.
Or, do we assess the situation, look around and see how
the situation can be improved? Do we graciously offer our
hands and our help to others? Do we accept others’ help
when we are in distress? Do we take joy in “feeding others”?
Do we spend time nourishing other’s bodies, minds
and hearts? Do we let ourselves be fed with love? Do we
allow others to nourish us, rather than thinking “I can do
it myself?” If so, then we are living in Heaven.
Too often in the world I see people who are living in the
Hell of their own isolation, in the Hell of their own frustration,
in the Hell of their own determination to change the
very nature of the world in which they live.
Families and friends gather together, frequently after many
months of separation. Too frequently, though, I hear
people say, “Oh, I dread this time of year. I dread it when
the whole family comes together,” and then they continue
on in a litany of complaints about this relative, that inlaw,
this friend. I have seen innumerable situations in which
family members and friends could so easily put an end to
another’s pain. Yet, they won’t. They don’t want to be the
one to offer, “Here, let me feed you.”
Or, in the opposite, but similar situation, I see so many
people suffering who could be helped by their families and
friends. Yet, they won’t ask for help. They won’t let others
help them. They say, “I can do it myself.” Their pride and
ego will not allow them to say, “Will you feed me, please?”
However, this is not the way it should be. When we gather
with our loved ones, we must realize that it is they who
can feed us when we are hungry, it is they who can alleviate
our suffering, it is their love which will turn our lives
from Hell to Heaven.
But, we must be willing to see the situation as it stands. If
our arms are unbendable, we must accept that they are
unbendable and then look for other ways to solve the problem.
If we keep trying to change the unchangeable - in
ourselves, in others or in the world - we will forever be
frustrated and hungry - not only in the body, but also in
the heart and in the soul.
So when families and friends gather together, if you
see someone suffering, be the first to offer your help.
Put aside any grudges or complaints or judgments.
Simply offer your hand in assistance. And, if you are
in distress, ask for help. These are your closest family
and friends. Put aside your ego and pride. See how
they can help you and ask for that. Then, as you feed
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