The unrevealed trauma - Dubai Women's College - Higher Colleges ...

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What is your mother’s name?
SHAIKHA AL AYALI
Is a woman’s name forbidden? Shaikha Al Ayali/DWC
The house bell rang. An invitation
was given to me from one of our
relatives. Exciting! It was a silk
wedding invitation box decorated
by a card adorned with a crystal
buckle and golden ribbon A classic
invitation with an elegant font
type, but who was the bride? Was
it Sara’s or Mariam’s wedding?
They both were engaged.
Omitting the woman’s name is
not a unique story that belongs
to a specific person or group
of people. It has been practiced
for a long time and has become
a custom within the Arab world,
specifically the Gulf region.
The traditions that appeared in
the era of ‘ignorance’ (Jahiliah)
still influence some men’s behavior
today. Until now, some men feel
shy to mention their mothers’,
sisters’, or wives’ names in front
of other men. They often use
expressions to hide the woman’s
identity. Instead of using her
given name, he refers to her as:
the family, the children, or ‘al
radeea’a’ which means ‘my sister’
in Emirati society.
Some men believe that saving
a woman’s name on their mobiles
will put them in a sensitive
situation if any of their friends
read her name on an incoming
call. This attitude affects young
boys’ behavior towards their
relatives. For instance, in the
Arab culture, calling a young boy
by his mother’s name is embarrassing
to him.
This behavior by some men is
not well-received by many women.
Afra Atiq, 22, is a university student
who sees such behavior as rude. “I
think we are past the tribal days of
women’s names being taboo. I have
worked hard to get where I am. I
am not inferior to anyone so why
not use my name?”
Although education has helped
change some of these behaviors,
still there hasn’t been great
improvement. Despite all the
progress of civilization, we still
suffer the impact driven from
the pre-Islamic era of ‘ignorance.’
Neglecting the woman’s name is
a cultural contradiction, where
a woman has been given a name
and subsequently had it taken
away from her. Still, some men
overreact.
Government employee Rashid
Al Muhairi, 27, had a fight with
one of his friends when the friend
asked Al Muhairi about his
mother’s name. “I was embarrassed
when he asked me in front
of my friends.” He believes there
is no need to disclose the name of
his mother, sister or wife because
it is personal; unless it is necessary
to spell it out on an application
form.
University student Salem Al
Hammadi, disagrees with Al
Muhairi. “I strongly believe that
the name doesn’t affect the woman
directly, there is no logical reason
not to pronounce a woman’s name.”
Al Hammadi stresses that calling
each woman by her name is a
way to show her the respect she
deserves. Arguing with that,
Shamma Abdullah, housewife,
admits that some behavior and
reactions from men make her
uncomfortable to hear her name
spoken out loud in public. “It
is annoying when some young
boys don’t take people’s names
seriously and they just make fun
of them, especially when it’s one
of the old names in our society,”
she says.
In the local culture, withholding
the woman’s name is considered
a way to preserve her dignity.
A woman will have more value
under her husband’s or father’s
name, or in reference to her oldest
son like ‘Um Mohammad’.
However, these practices do not
honor the most basic rights of
women. Instead, men should
pronounce women’s names in
front of others respectfully and
proudly.
The Holy Quran was written over
1400 years ago. It has Surah 19:
Maryam (Mary) titled by a woman’s
name. Islam honors women and
their rights and protects them
from injustice. Anas Bin Malik
narrates: “We arrived at Khaibar.
I saw the Prophet, making for
Safiya ‘the prophet’s wife,’ a kind
of cushion with his cloak behind
him [on his camel]. He then sat
beside his camel and put his knee
for Safiya to put her foot on, in
order to ride [on the camel]. He
didn’t feel shy about his soldiers
observing the scene, and when
everyone else only whispered
the names of their women, our
prophet stated his wives’ names
and showed his love in front
of everyone.”
(THE HOLY
QURAN) HAS
SURAH 19:
MARYAM (MARY)
TITLED BY A
WOMAN’S NAME.
ISLAM HONORS
WOMEN AND
THEIR RIGHTS
AND PROTECTS
THEM FROM
INJUSTICE.
There is additional evidence from
Shari’ah when Amr bin Al’Aas
asked the Prophet: “O, Prophet
of Allah whom do you love the
most?” “Ayesha,” he replied.
“And whom do you love the most
among the men?” “Her father,” the
Prophet said. (Hadith in Bukhari)
“These days men don’t think to
mention the names of any women
in their family; they just point to
them using different ways, ignoring
the way women feel about
it,” says Dr. Mohammad Al Olama,
chancellor of the College of Law at
United Arab Emirates University.
However, thousands of years ago,
when the Prophet Mohammed was
sitting in an open area with some
men, someone asked about the
name of the woman sitting beside
him. He answered in front of
everyone that she was his wife,
Safia. Al Olama points out that it
is not forbidden in Islam to mention
a woman’s name; all these behaviors
are a result of the era of ‘ignorance.’
The Prophet Mohammad
stated the names of his wives and
daughters in front of all strangers
and publicly disclosed his feelings
and love.
Some men assume a female’s
name is an embarrassment that
should not be announced in
public for religious reasons.
However, an understanding of
the teachings of Islam proves the
opposite. This is purely a cultural
belief.