Common Sense 101 - Engineering - December 16, 2012 Edition

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Common Sense 101: Engineering The Vulva. My favourite picture in the book. Fab, innit. Page 96
I 48. Shocking am a fairly good handyman. I can fix lots of things around the house, and have even built some of the stuff in my house. But one thing I stay away from is electricals. Except for changing light bulbs and plugging in the power cord of appliances and computers, I don’t touch anything electrical. I am afraid if I try to fix anything electrical, even such a thing as small as a wall switch, I’ll get the shock of my life. It’s not as if I don’t understand the mechanical parts of any electrical device. I could fix a wall switch, if I were assured that there’s no current flowing through it. But since I can’t be so assured, I just don’t touch the damn thing. Well, as a consumer I have to ask myself, why should this be the case? Nowadays pretty much everything has an electrical component: even some modern picture frames (and who would have thought, twenty years ago, that you’d have to plug in your picture frame?) So why can’t we simply unplug anything electrical that isn’t working, fix it, and then plug it in back again? Why, for instance, can’t we do that with wall switches and ceiling fans? In fact, why isn’t there a small LED light attached to all these things which lights up when it’s live, and goes off when there’s no current flowing though it, so as to indicate that it’s safe to now try and fix it? They have such things on computers and cell phones, and even on some exceedingly cheap pocket calculators and digital watches, so why can’t they have it on everything connected to a live current? I know what you’re going to say: we shouldn’t let just anybody fix electrical things, because they may fix them in a dangerous way: we should only let licensed electricians fix electrical things. But that ship has already sailed. Ordinary people already can fix anything that can be unplugged: even electric toasters (than which there is hardly anything more dangerous around the house, but we’ll let that pass for now). The only question remaining now is, why isn’t everything unpluggable? Or unscrewable, like light bulbs? (As an aside, even light bulbs should not require screwing in: nothing should require screwing in. Don’t get me started on my favourite rant: against screws. Screws are the absolute worst invention in the history of engineering. For one thing, they come loose with vibration: in fact, racing motorcycles have to have all their screws and nuts and bolts drilled and threaded with wire which has to be tied securely to the bike’s frame, because race organisers are afraid of the screws coming loose while racing, causing accidents. If this can happen in a two-hour race, just imagine what can happen in a lifetime of riding. Then there’s the near-impossibility of finding a screw that has come loose and fallen somewhere inaccessible—or even lost altogether. The hardware store has a gazillion replacement screws and bolts and nuts, no doubt, but good luck finding the correct one from among them, especially if the part into which it needs to be threaded is fixed to your bike or car, and so can’t be taken into the store to try them all out. Of course screws also need tightening every now and then, as IKEA proudly (!?!) reminds its customers in every single one of its instruction pamphlets. Then there’s the possibility of stripping the screw’s head or threads while trying to get it loose, which often happens when the screw has been in for a long time and maybe even gotten corroded. Once that happens, good luck trying to get the screw out—and even if you succeed, it’s nearimpossible to get a replacement screw back in. Of course screws also roll off the table just like pills, pencils and chopsticks, about which we complained earlier. Then, inserting a screw into something above your head using only one hand, while holding onto your ladder for dear life with the other, can be, to say the least, challenging: screwdrivers aren’t built to actually grip the screw they are driving. Of course, screws also require lots of turns of the screw, which makes them time consuming—and admittedly that problem is somewhat alleviated with electric screwdrivers, but why should you need one in your toolbox? Trust me, for all these and a dozen more reasons, every time you incorporate screws into your product you are screwing over your customers; and they are not going to like that. The only time screwing is good is when screwing.) Anyhow. Where were we. Yes, plugging electricals in. Everything electrical can, and should, be made easily plug-in-able and plug-out-able: just like an iMac. That also goes for the electricals in your car. It should not be hard to do. You’re the engineers: figure it out! Page 97
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Common Sense 101: Engineering Laser
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Common Sense 101: Engineering by La
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T Dedication his book is dedicated
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T The No-Small-Print Warranty he pr
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I Introduction am not an engineer.
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25. Everything should be easy to ge
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E 1. Good Intentions verything shou
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Good Intentions The boom problem co
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T 2. Oh, the Humanity! here’s a d
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M 3. Come Together, Right Now ost t
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A 4. Do it Yourself nd when I say
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T 5. Get Lost here’s also another
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T 6. I Like to Move it, Move it ake
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O 7. You C A N Take it With You f c
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T 8. Cleanliness is Next to Godline
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T 9. The Pyramids here’s an Arabi
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I 10. Heirlooms n the old days, peo
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11. Put Your Money Where Your Mouth
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I 12. Maintenance t’s simply not
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T 13. Coolth he word “warmth” i
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D 14. Quark o you remember Quark? I
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A 15. What’s in a Name? ctually,
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I 16. Something Old, Something New
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I 17. The Eliminator kea has a phil
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A 18. The Sum of its Parts pparentl
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I 19. Don’t be Shy t’s no use h
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B 20. K.I.S.S. y K.I.S.S. I mean—
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I 21. Deliver Us t bears repeating,
Page 59 and 60: I 22. Easy, Pal! t all started in t
Page 61 and 62: A 23. Play it Again, Sam few years
Page 63 and 64: O 24. Upgradability ne problem Stra
Page 65 and 66: W 25. The Numbers Game hen you firs
Page 67 and 68: M 26. Recycling aybe some day whate
Page 69 and 70: E 27. Cool it, Man! verything shoul
Page 71 and 72: O 28. The Dark Side ne of the worst
Page 73 and 74: W 29. Finders Keepers, Losers Weepe
Page 75 and 76: J 30. It’s a Steal ust about ever
Page 77 and 78: O 31. Check this out! nce upon a ti
Page 79 and 80: Y 32. Autopilot ou know that airlin
Page 81 and 82: W 33. It’s Standard hen you go to
Page 83 and 84: W 34. Waterproof hat could be so ha
Page 85 and 86: W 35. The Rotary Club e often derid
Page 87 and 88: C 36. Friction ontrary to what most
Page 89 and 90: O 37. Wireless f course we all get
Page 91 and 92: O 38. Swiss Army Knife nce upon a t
Page 93 and 94: W 39. Ouch! hat’s up with manufac
Page 95 and 96: T 40. Square Peg in Round Hole here
Page 97 and 98: D 41. Paint Job id you know that a
Page 99 and 100: W 42. Break Down hy do so many thin
Page 101 and 102: O 43. Deterioration ne of the worst
Page 103 and 104: T 44. Corrosion here are corrosive
Page 105 and 106: O 45. Rock and Roll ne of the worst
Page 107 and 108: T 46. R.T.F.M. hat stands, as you s
Page 109: W 47. Pinch Me hen I was a very you
Page 113 and 114: R 49. Leaks emember the Exxon Valde
Page 115 and 116: B 50. The Future is Where You’ll
Page 117 and 118: The Future is Where You’ll be Spe
Page 119 and 120: Write or draw something. Be an arti
Page 121: T About the Author he author is a n
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Common Sense 101 - Engineering - December 16, 2012 Edition

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