<strong>Common</strong> <strong>Sense</strong> <strong>101</strong>: <strong>Engineering</strong> No wonder the Pharaoh spent twenty per cent of his nation’s GDP every year for twenty years running to have it built—with his people solidly behind him. That’s what I’m talking about! Make your products really, really cool—so cool as to blow away the competition—and people will flock in their thousands (and not just thousands, but millions, even billions) to get their hands on them. You can even charge a premium. How can you lose? Rodin—“Je suis belle”. Cool, eh? (I absolutely LOVE the way Rodin has done the guy’s sexy bits.) “The artist's experience lies so unbelievably close to the sexual, to its pain and its pleasure, that the two phenomena are really just different forms of one and the same longing and bliss.”—The Bohemian-Austrian poet Rainer Maria Rilke, who for a time was Rodin's secretary. “Rodin taught him the value of objective observation, and under this influence Rilke dramatically transformed his poetic style from the subjective and sometimes incantatory language of his earlier work " " " " into something quite new in European literature.”—Wikipedia. Page 28
D 14. Quark o you remember Quark? I mean the quirky character from Star Trek: Deep Space 9. He was a bit of a douchebag, but nevertheless even Odo, his arch-nemesis, came to (begrudgingly) like him. Why? Well, the answer seems to be that Quark had some quirks that made him loveable. You might say the same thing about Denny Crane from Boston Legal: William Shatner’s best role— even better than his role as Captain Kirk in the original Star Trek. Denny Crane was a right-wing maniac, but he had a quirky, loveable quality that made even the liberal Alan Shore accept him as his BFF. There are untold numbers of such characters—and even real-life people—who, despite being what your would normally call not-quite-all-that, nevertheless were all that. French actor Jean-Paul Belmondo, for example. Ugly as all hell, but beloved by millions of Frenchmen (and swooned over by millions of Frenchwomen). Barbra Streisand, with her prominent proboscis (and associated deviated septum). Louis Armstrong, with his gravelly voice. Danny DeVito, shorter than most schoolchildren. There are thousands of such people, who are loveable not in spite of, but because of, some quirk they have. Take a cue from this. What you, as an engineer, need to do is to make your product loveable. It’s very important, if you want to sell enough of it. (And if you don’t want to sell enough of it, why are you in the business in the first place?) What you want to do is not merely create products, but sell them. And to sell them, one of the best things you can do is make them loveable: make people fall in love with them. And one of the best ways to make people fall in love with your products is to introduce some quirk into them, so that when people see them they exclaim “Oh how cute!” and “Oh, how sweet!” and, of course, the clincher: “I love you to bits.” That’s the important thing. People often buy stuff based on their emotions, not reason. If they love it, they will yearn for it for days on end ahead of time, and go for it when they see it in the store, even if they can’t really afford it. A prime example is the Porsche 911. The engine is in the back, which is a no-no in modern automobile engineering: the engine’s weight tends to cause the car to swing around like a pendulum when cornering. No other modern car is designed like that, and for good reason. Besides, its looks have stayed pretty much the same for well nigh fifty, count ’em, fifty years. No other car has had such a long run looking the same … except its granddaddy, the VW Beetle, on which it is based. It’s also ridiculously overpriced. But it sells like hot cakes, and has been doing so for decades. It has millions of fans who drool over it even when they don’t have much hope of ever owning one or driving one. (I know—I am one of them myself.) This is not despite, but because of, its quirks. And quirks it has many. Indeed, every 911 model is a bit unique in that each has its own set of distinctive features and quirks that the owners come to know and love (or hate) over time. Among them, with regard to the last of the air-cooled models, made between 1993 and 1998, are the following: its side mirrors aren’t symmetrically positioned; the steering wheel is slightly off-centre relative to the drivers seat; and the car’s body isn’t mounted on a chassis in the centre, it’s slightly towards the passenger side. Quirky or what. 911s aren’t just loved: they are also hated. By some. Paradoxically, this fact often makes them all the more loved by their fans. They feel a certain superiority at knowing that there are people who haven’t the ability to appreciate the qualities of the 911: much like the superiority Wagner aficionados feel over those who can’t sit through a performance of the entire Ring cycle. Which goes to prove the old adage, “There’s no such thing as bad publicity”. Even more quirky are the cars built by Horacio Pagani, a native of Argentina who, armed with a letter from five-time Grand Prix winner Juan Manuel Fangio, emigrated to Italy when he was 20 years old to work for Lamborghini. He later quit that firm to found his own car factory. There he created the Zonda and its successor, the Huayra: both million-dollar supercars. Top Gear’s Richard Hammond fell in love with the flamboyant Zonda, saying “a supercar should have a sense of pantomime and theatre”, and adding “I would sell my house, buy one of these and live in a tunnel!” And when I myself saw the pictures of its successor, the Huayra, I was so blown away that I can hardly fault Hammond for saying what he did. The Bugatti Veyron might have a bit of a performance edge on the Huayra, but there just isn’t any other car Page 29
- Page 1: Common Sense 101: Engineering Laser
- Page 5 and 6: Common Sense 101: Engineering by La
- Page 7 and 8: T Dedication his book is dedicated
- Page 9 and 10: T The No-Small-Print Warranty he pr
- Page 11 and 12: I Introduction am not an engineer.
- Page 13 and 14: 25. Everything should be easy to ge
- Page 15 and 16: E 1. Good Intentions verything shou
- Page 17 and 18: Good Intentions The boom problem co
- Page 19 and 20: T 2. Oh, the Humanity! here’s a d
- Page 21 and 22: M 3. Come Together, Right Now ost t
- Page 23 and 24: A 4. Do it Yourself nd when I say
- Page 25 and 26: T 5. Get Lost here’s also another
- Page 27 and 28: T 6. I Like to Move it, Move it ake
- Page 29 and 30: O 7. You C A N Take it With You f c
- Page 31 and 32: T 8. Cleanliness is Next to Godline
- Page 33 and 34: T 9. The Pyramids here’s an Arabi
- Page 35 and 36: I 10. Heirlooms n the old days, peo
- Page 37 and 38: 11. Put Your Money Where Your Mouth
- Page 39 and 40: I 12. Maintenance t’s simply not
- Page 41: T 13. Coolth he word “warmth” i
- Page 45 and 46: A 15. What’s in a Name? ctually,
- Page 47 and 48: I 16. Something Old, Something New
- Page 49 and 50: I 17. The Eliminator kea has a phil
- Page 51 and 52: A 18. The Sum of its Parts pparentl
- Page 53 and 54: I 19. Don’t be Shy t’s no use h
- Page 55 and 56: B 20. K.I.S.S. y K.I.S.S. I mean—
- Page 57 and 58: I 21. Deliver Us t bears repeating,
- Page 59 and 60: I 22. Easy, Pal! t all started in t
- Page 61 and 62: A 23. Play it Again, Sam few years
- Page 63 and 64: O 24. Upgradability ne problem Stra
- Page 65 and 66: W 25. The Numbers Game hen you firs
- Page 67 and 68: M 26. Recycling aybe some day whate
- Page 69 and 70: E 27. Cool it, Man! verything shoul
- Page 71 and 72: O 28. The Dark Side ne of the worst
- Page 73 and 74: W 29. Finders Keepers, Losers Weepe
- Page 75 and 76: J 30. It’s a Steal ust about ever
- Page 77 and 78: O 31. Check this out! nce upon a ti
- Page 79 and 80: Y 32. Autopilot ou know that airlin
- Page 81 and 82: W 33. It’s Standard hen you go to
- Page 83 and 84: W 34. Waterproof hat could be so ha
- Page 85 and 86: W 35. The Rotary Club e often derid
- Page 87 and 88: C 36. Friction ontrary to what most
- Page 89 and 90: O 37. Wireless f course we all get
- Page 91 and 92: O 38. Swiss Army Knife nce upon a t
- Page 93 and 94:
W 39. Ouch! hat’s up with manufac
- Page 95 and 96:
T 40. Square Peg in Round Hole here
- Page 97 and 98:
D 41. Paint Job id you know that a
- Page 99 and 100:
W 42. Break Down hy do so many thin
- Page 101 and 102:
O 43. Deterioration ne of the worst
- Page 103 and 104:
T 44. Corrosion here are corrosive
- Page 105 and 106:
O 45. Rock and Roll ne of the worst
- Page 107 and 108:
T 46. R.T.F.M. hat stands, as you s
- Page 109 and 110:
W 47. Pinch Me hen I was a very you
- Page 111 and 112:
I 48. Shocking am a fairly good han
- Page 113 and 114:
R 49. Leaks emember the Exxon Valde
- Page 115 and 116:
B 50. The Future is Where You’ll
- Page 117 and 118:
The Future is Where You’ll be Spe
- Page 119 and 120:
Write or draw something. Be an arti
- Page 121:
T About the Author he author is a n