Common Sense 101 - Engineering - December 16, 2012 Edition

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29. Finders Keepers, Losers Weepers
hat happens if you lose something? Are you a finder … or a loser?
It can be as large a thing as a car. Remember the Seinfeld episode “The Parking Garage”, where
Jerry, Kramer, George and Elaine all get stuck in a parking garage for hours when they forget where they
had parked?
As for the TV remote, when (not if, but when) it gets lost, you’re going to need an eight-step process to
find it—see http://tinyurl.com/8xymgfe. And even then, as they say there,
… You won't always find your remote the first time looking, but just repeat the procedure until you find it.
If you regularly lose the remote, consider buying a remote control holder and keeping it in there. Alternatively,
you could just apply a velcro strip to the back of the remote and attach the matching ‘opposite’
velcro strip to the TV and keep the remote firmly attached to the velcro strip on the TV when not in use.
Another good idea is to apply a strip of dayglow tape to the remote to make it more visible. It may also
help if you buy a cheap ‘universal remote control’—a device which can operate most television brands—
and keep it in a safe place as a backup. Did you throw it out with the newspaper? Check the recycling
bin! Consider sewing/buying a remote holder for your couch arm to prevent this form happening again.
Gawd! Can’t they incorporate something into everything which enables you to find it if it gets lost?
These days, how hard can it be?
Better still, there are ways to make sure that things don’t get lost. When I was a kid at school (hey, kids
lose things all the time, right?) I had to have the keys to my bicycle and desk attached to a keychain which
was in turn attached to my pants. That way they never got lost. (Sometimes, in fact, I wonder why adults
don’t do the same thing. The other day I had guests over for dinner, and after they left to go back home I
found their house keys in my kitchen, obviously left there by mistake. Luckily for them they had relatives
still partying at my house who were going their way later, so they got their keys … eventually. And luckily for
them also, it wasn’t a cold night. But bummer. Why do we put up with such things even being possible?)
The thing of it is, with modern technology the “keychain” doesn’t have to be physical. Everything that
can get lost should have a wireless connection to a “Finder”, the button of which when pressed will cause
the lost article to start beeping. We already have such a system for cordless phones, so why not for cell
phones—and in fact for everything that can get lost, even your keys and wallet and TV remote?
By the way, the argument against it being available for cell phones is that you can always call your own
number, and your cell phone will ring and let you know where it is. I just don’t understand why people can’t
see the stupidity of this argument. For one thing, suppose you had turned the ringer of your cell phone off—
like if you had been to a movie—and then forgot to turn it back on again. Worse still, what if the cell phone’s
out of battery power. There ought to be another battery in the cell phone,—something small, like a battery
of a wristwatch—which only activates the beeper. It should not be used for anything else, so it won’t run
down: at least not any time soon. It also won’t take up too much space, and won’t cost more than a few
bucks: which, for a cell phone which, if lost, would set you back hundreds of dollars, is a very good
investment. You might want to consider putting such a thing into your wallet also.
But things can get much more than lost—they can get stolen. We’ll discuss that in the next chapter.
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