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Queensland Police Union Journal

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Book Review - <strong>Police</strong> Don’t Move – Tales of Policing Australia’s Gold Coast<br />

Book Review<br />

<strong>Police</strong> Don’t Move – Tales of<br />

Policing Australia’s Gold Coast<br />

By Andrea Appleton<br />

‘Enjoy the rollercoaster ride as we find ourselves immersed in all<br />

sorts of bother, meeting all manner of folk, and trying to make sense<br />

of the impossibly senseless.’<br />

Nick Wood is a retired QPS<br />

officer who worked as a Constable<br />

on the Gold Coast from 1997 to 2007.<br />

After medical retirement, he found<br />

himself reminiscing about ‘the most<br />

fascinating decade of [his] life’, and<br />

about the officers and staff of the QPS,<br />

whom he rates as among the finest<br />

people he has known.<br />

About five years into retirement, Nick<br />

read an ebook by an English bobby,<br />

Wasting <strong>Police</strong> Time, and found it<br />

very entertaining. He thought he could<br />

also produce a book about real life<br />

policing, and decided to write about<br />

his experiences on the road at the<br />

Gold Coast.<br />

He asserts that all characters who<br />

appear in <strong>Police</strong> Don’t Move are real,<br />

yet have been blessed with name<br />

changes. The jobs are also real, and<br />

each chapter is devoted to a particular<br />

job or shift to provide a snapshot<br />

into life as a general duties officer on<br />

<strong>Queensland</strong>’s glitter strip.<br />

Nick’s conversational, ‘no holds (or<br />

swearing) barred’ writing style makes<br />

it easy to imagine you are partnering<br />

up with him on his rounds, and just<br />

like a GDs officer, you never know<br />

quite what to expect, or who exactly<br />

you might meet.<br />

There’s the young male on a chick’s<br />

pushbike who ‘downs his dreadful<br />

generation X shorts to stun us with his<br />

blindingly white bottom’. There’s the<br />

mangy pig with the gammy leg that<br />

lives in a caravan park and is lovingly<br />

christened ‘Officer’.<br />

There’s the drunk guy who provides a<br />

false address that just happens to lead<br />

to a house containing two hundred<br />

cannabis plants, and the parents who<br />

want to cash in their chips at the<br />

casino before being taken to identify<br />

their five-year-old son who drowned<br />

in a hotel pool.<br />

Some of the jobs Nick attends—and<br />

the situations he finds himself in—<br />

will be familiar to many officers, and<br />

Nick’s wry recounting and observation<br />

will undoubtedly ring true.<br />

Of course, some other jobs are<br />

truly one-of-a-kind, and are in turn<br />

perversely funny, shockingly sad, or<br />

downright unbelievable.<br />

<strong>Police</strong> Don’t Move is a great read for<br />

those looking for an insight into an<br />

officer’s life on the beat. It’s also an<br />

easy, entertaining read for QPS and<br />

other officers who will find themselves<br />

reminded of their own shifts, scrapes,<br />

and service by the stories of Nick<br />

Wood.<br />

<strong>Police</strong> Don’t Move is available online<br />

at Amazon, iTunes, and Kobo, and<br />

there are easy links to these stores on<br />

Nick’s blog: http://policedontmove.<br />

blogspot.com.au/p/my-books.html<br />

Nick Wood<br />

Amazon, iTunes, Kobo<br />

2013<br />

RRP: $9.99<br />

<strong>Queensland</strong> <strong>Police</strong> <strong>Union</strong> <strong>Journal</strong> June 2013 53

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