TRIADOPTION ® Library, Inc. - CA ~ Pg 369-480

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Adoption is the then1 for the entire sumnler It is difficult, however, to be tolerant with
issue of PUBLIC WELFARE magazine. lt carries those who still adhere to the philosophy that
articles of wi de-rangi ng interest to anyone adoptees who search to "resolve problems of idwhose
life is touched in any way by the legal , entity; to assuage feelings of rejection" exhibit
moral and sensitive issues associated with the "symptoms of obvious emotional disturbance. "8 It
adoption process. Lawyers, judges, social
is a threat to adoptees that professional counselworkers,
operators of chi 1 dren ' s homes, obste- ors currently accept attitudes of several decades
tricians, family physicians, psychiatrists, ago. Is it asking too much that all professionals
psychologists, court clerks, hospital workers, should be able to place adoptees' identity and
ministers, priests and lay counsellors should rejection feelings in their relative place? It is
find new insights to Letter understand members true that fixation with any subject can be the
of the adoption triangle* who are so emotion- cause of mental .disorder. The author suggests that
al 1 y involved and personally affected by the only adoptees who search and have those feelings
burning questions relating to their own status exhibit symptoms of emotional disturbance; apparas
a triangle member.
ently adoptees who do not search but have these
As human nature is wont to be, trialigie
feelings lack them, at least in his view.
members are most likely to support or reject
expressed views in the articles according to
Persistent feelings of rejection and
which point of the triangle the reader repre-
alienation have been documented even in
sents. Acknowlec'ging this bias one should
the most-loved adopted children . . . -
still not be blinded by logical arguments "If your relationship with your adopted
supporting views contrary to those of the
chi 1 d is a happy. and secure one, lie ui 1-1.
reader. ,Compel 1 i ng cogent rationale is de-
not neet or want to search for his first
veloped in several articles. For example
parents. He wi 11 know that you are his
(and contrary to many adoptees own viewpoint), - real, parents".
!
many adoptive parents feel "outraged, incensed,
This 1 ine has been contradicted by
and betrayed"2 about adoptee searches and be- many adoptees, who insist that it is
lieve that these searches are already changing their civil right to have access to
adoption to permanent foster care.3 Whi 1 e
information about origins. 9
adoptees acknowledge misgivings by adoptive There is indeed a fine line between those who search
parents, the depths to which these feelings and those who do not. And it is yet to be shown .that
run is made abundantly clear in the magazine.
by crossing the search/non-search 1 ine proves obses-
Birthparents, on the other hand, must be rightsion
to the point of emotional disturbance. Suppress
eously livid at one author's definition of the ed desires to search because of compassion for
adoption triad as including "adoptive parents,
adoptive parents could also lead to emotional disadoptee
and agencyU4, which must be like owning
turbance, but the author disregards this most obviou
your own tennis court and your guests choose to
correlation. Not knowing one's orgins and all that
exclude you from play. Adoptive parents are unknowledge
encompasses is indeed stressful :
1 i kely to a &nowledge that birthparents of the
triangle who have 1 ater become adoptive parents
Our findings would tend to validate the
themselves have the same firsthand unck rstandin
impressions garnered from the literature
of the adoptive parents' role as an adoptive
review that adoptees are more vulnerable
parent who has never relinquished a child.5
than the population at large to the develop-
While there are similarties, and perhaps the
ment of identity problems in late adolescence
author intended no more than that, the distincand
young adulthood because of the greater
tion is remarkable.
1 i kel i hood of encountering difficulties
On the other hand, some articles contained
in the working through of the psychosexual,
blatant distortion of facts, reasoning on basic
psychosocial , and psychohis~grical aspects
issues warped by col 1 ateral considerations and
of personal i ty devel opmnt .
chain of logic - misdirected by preconceived
Ideas.
One be if at least The relationship of the search versus concern for
forgiving of a writer whose agency appears to
adoptive parents1 feel ings is expressed in this
be threatened by economi c 1 oss shoul d adoption
account :
laws be chanqed, - - or fearful that the aqency's
continuing power and knowledge of adoptees- is
diminished as adoptees "bypass agenciesM6
during their search. Regarding the latter point
many adoptees would hasten to add that this was
a direct resul t of the agencies' refusal to even
be considerate of adoptee searchers, let alone
helpful, even in states where agencies are not
legally bound to withhold information. Advice
given several years ago still goes unheerdetl by
many agencies :
Adoption agencies have contributed
to the confusion by assuming the role
of protector, in which capacity they
have become watchment and censors of
the truth. The results have often been
negative, large1 y because the information
given out by adoption agencies has
been recognized as shadowy, unreal, and
therefore, unsatisfying to the adoptee.
Withheld data does not protect adoptees,
but instead gives them the feeling that
full information would reveal "ahful
truths." ..... The time has come for
adoption agencies to establish programs
I
and to set up procedures to meet these
challenges. The agency should begin by
accepting the adult adoptee as a full
client. who has the riqht to complete
I
information and to the cooperation of
the agency .Pf
I think it is the most natural and
desirable aspect of any adolescent or
young adult person to have curiosity about
his forbears, about his biological heri tage
and the sequence of his generational connectedness.
I would consider this the most normal,
indeed desireable, kind of curiosity . . .
I think that continued secrecy about the information
concerning one's natural parents
poisons the relationship between the adoptive
parents and the adopted person. What it does
is build an aura of guilt and conflict over
that very natural, heal thy, at. inevitable
curiosity. ... That is why the quest of the
adopted ?erson for informati n is so painful
and so fused with guilt. ? 1
It i s just not possible to cite the many authorities
who so characterize the adoptee's search.
It may be convenient for a psychologist to quantify
the adoptee's action to intiate a search as
prima facia evidence of an emotional disturbance
symptom, but so would characterization of a lot
of other human actions make for simplified treatment--IF
IT WERE TRUE. Does an adoptive parent's
genuine fear of his or her children's search for
birthparents qua1 i fy as symptom of mental disorder?
It would be totally without foundation as
indeed the prior finding has been.