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writing the paragraphs in the first draft - Pearson Learning Solutions

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Chapter 6 • Writ<strong>in</strong>g <strong>the</strong> Paragraphs <strong>in</strong> <strong>the</strong> First Draft<br />

69<br />

out. Cable viewers may enjoy such performers as U2, Madonna, or<br />

Chris Rock <strong>in</strong> concert, whereas <strong>the</strong> networks cont<strong>in</strong>ue to broadcast<br />

tired, look-alike sit-coms and bor<strong>in</strong>g awards ceremonies. There<br />

is, however, one problem with cable comedians. The foul language<br />

many of <strong>the</strong>m use makes it hard to watch <strong>the</strong>se cable specials with<br />

children. The networks, <strong>in</strong> contrast, generally present “clean”<br />

shows that parents and children can watch toge<strong>the</strong>r. Then, too,<br />

cable TV offers viewers more flexibility s<strong>in</strong>ce it schedules shows<br />

at various times over <strong>the</strong> month. People work<strong>in</strong>g night shifts or<br />

attend<strong>in</strong>g even<strong>in</strong>g classes can see movies <strong>in</strong> <strong>the</strong> afternoon, and<br />

viewers miss<strong>in</strong>g <strong>the</strong> <strong>first</strong> twenty m<strong>in</strong>utes of a show can always<br />

catch <strong>the</strong>m later. It’s not surpris<strong>in</strong>g that cable viewership is<br />

grow<strong>in</strong>g while network rat<strong>in</strong>gs have taken a plunge.<br />

Make <strong>the</strong> Paragraphs Specific<br />

If your support<strong>in</strong>g <strong>paragraphs</strong> are vague, readers will lose <strong>in</strong>terest, rema<strong>in</strong><br />

unconv<strong>in</strong>ced of your <strong>the</strong>sis, even have trouble decipher<strong>in</strong>g your mean<strong>in</strong>g. In contrast,<br />

<strong>paragraphs</strong> filled with concrete, specific details engage readers, lend force<br />

to ideas, and clarify mean<strong>in</strong>g.<br />

Follow<strong>in</strong>g are two versions of a paragraph from an essay about trends <strong>in</strong> <strong>the</strong><br />

bus<strong>in</strong>ess community. Although both <strong>paragraphs</strong> focus on one such trend—<br />

flexible work<strong>in</strong>g hours—note how <strong>the</strong> <strong>first</strong> version’s vague generalities leave<br />

mean<strong>in</strong>g unclear. What, for example, is meant by “flex-time schedul<strong>in</strong>g”? Which<br />

companies have tried it? Where, specifically, are <strong>the</strong>se companies located? How,<br />

exactly, does flex-time <strong>in</strong>crease productivity, lessen conflict, and reduce<br />

accidents? The second paragraph answers <strong>the</strong>se questions with specifics and, as<br />

a result, is more <strong>in</strong>formative and <strong>in</strong>terest<strong>in</strong>g.<br />

Nonspecific Support<br />

More and more companies have begun to realize that flex-time<br />

schedul<strong>in</strong>g offers advantages. Several companies outside Boston<br />

have tried flex-time schedul<strong>in</strong>g and are pleased with <strong>the</strong> way <strong>the</strong><br />

system reduces <strong>the</strong> difficulties <strong>the</strong>ir employees face gett<strong>in</strong>g to<br />

work. Studies show that flex-time schedul<strong>in</strong>g also <strong>in</strong>creases<br />

productivity, reduces on-<strong>the</strong>-job conflict, and m<strong>in</strong>imizes workrelated<br />

accidents.<br />

Specific Support<br />

More and more companies have begun to realize that flex-time<br />

schedul<strong>in</strong>g offers advantages over a rigid 9-to-5 rout<strong>in</strong>e. Along<br />

suburban Boston’s Route 128, such companies as Compugraphics and

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